I can't get a lawyer to talk to me because I am the one who pressed charges so hopefully someone here can help me.
My closest friend has serious drinking problems - it has always hindered all of his relationships because as soon as he gets drunk he is a different person and can easily hurt everyone around him. On my birthday about a month ago, he got wasted, blacked out and raped me. I didn't lead him on or anything - the raping was completely unprompted and out of the blue. Angry and hurt, I immediately went to the police and ended up spending the rest of the night getting a rape kit done. Now, several weeks later, police are still looking for him and he is no where to be found. All I know is what I have heard from our friends that he calls from random places. Apparently he is just trying to work up the guts to kill himself. If he turns himself in, he will probably be facing 10 years. When he gets out, he'll be 40, his friends will be gone, he will have a hard time ever finding a job and will probably never be able to find a decent girl with a record like that. I don't blame him for wanting to kill himself; I probably would too.
I think people should take responsibility for their actions, but he doesn't even remember the rape happening. I don't think he should just get off for the crime but I think he would benefit more from rehab and therapy than being locked up in a cell. However.. I know even though I am the victim, most likely my wishes will mean nothing at all in court. Had I known he would face such a harsh penalty I don't think I would have pressed charges; the cop assured me I could ask them to do a plea bargain and he'd only get a few years but I've been told since that that's up to what sort of mood the judge is in. I want to offer him some sort of hope that he doesn't need to kill himself, but I've got nothing. He can't afford a lawyer. Does anyone have any advice or anything to offer positive in his favor?
My closest friend has serious drinking problems - it has always hindered all of his relationships because as soon as he gets drunk he is a different person and can easily hurt everyone around him. On my birthday about a month ago, he got wasted, blacked out and raped me. I didn't lead him on or anything - the raping was completely unprompted and out of the blue. Angry and hurt, I immediately went to the police and ended up spending the rest of the night getting a rape kit done. Now, several weeks later, police are still looking for him and he is no where to be found. All I know is what I have heard from our friends that he calls from random places. Apparently he is just trying to work up the guts to kill himself. If he turns himself in, he will probably be facing 10 years. When he gets out, he'll be 40, his friends will be gone, he will have a hard time ever finding a job and will probably never be able to find a decent girl with a record like that. I don't blame him for wanting to kill himself; I probably would too.
I think people should take responsibility for their actions, but he doesn't even remember the rape happening. I don't think he should just get off for the crime but I think he would benefit more from rehab and therapy than being locked up in a cell. However.. I know even though I am the victim, most likely my wishes will mean nothing at all in court. Had I known he would face such a harsh penalty I don't think I would have pressed charges; the cop assured me I could ask them to do a plea bargain and he'd only get a few years but I've been told since that that's up to what sort of mood the judge is in. I want to offer him some sort of hope that he doesn't need to kill himself, but I've got nothing. He can't afford a lawyer. Does anyone have any advice or anything to offer positive in his favor?
