Legal Separation and now she wants it all. Except the kids.

[adamwojo]

Just short of one year of legal separation where my wife and I have "equal and shared custody" of our 3 kids she files for divorce and is asking for child support (specifically also says she is NOT seeking custody). Last year I made 74K she made 57k. I pay for all medical insurance and un-reimbursed. I pay for private catholic for 2 kids (4800) and 70% of daycare for our 2 year old. I pay for school uniforms, lunches, sports/fees. In the last year I have had the kids about 56% of the time. On days she has the kids and works I or my mom and dad pick up the kids or she drops off, breakfast, get ready for school etc. 32 times this year alone I "babysat" (you don't baby-sit your own kids my 2 year old while she worked and dropped him off when she was done. (I only work 2 1/2 days a week) Our separation signed, notarized and filed with the county court says neither party will ever ask for child support, etc. After review of her financial sheet and comparison to mine with bills I pay our incomes are nearly equal.

Our first court date is next week. Just wanted to see if anyone out there has been thru the same or has any advice etc. I'm really just scared the judge will give her 29% and custody (I have no luck at all, otherwise I think I'm a great dad!)

 

[army judge]

If she's not seeking custody, I don't think she can get child support. If you're going to seek custody, why would she need child support? (Rhetorical question, I know the answer!)

Although, I've heard some humdingers in my time, let me tell you.

I hope you, for your sake (and finances), have a lawyer.

If not, you should retain one.

If you can't retain one by your looming court date, ask for a continuance to hire one.


From what she's asking to receive, I know she has one.

This isn't the time to be relying in handshakes and beautiful memories of what you once had. Otherwise, you'll be back on here asking how to undo what was done to you. Without an attorney to represent you, you're about to be legally assaulted and financially molested!!!

By the way, I can tell you're a great dad. You love your kids dearly. She knows that, and has no qualms in using your pure feelings against you.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[adamwojo]

Thanks. I go to court tomorrow for a preliminary hearing. I do have a good lawyer (well I think she's good). Still, though its a billion dollar industry and I always fear for the worst. Oh, and you're right about using my feelings, she needed extra money "for bills" and me wanting her household to be safe and secure helped with her taxes and gave her an exemption. She turned around on the day of her tax return and paid for her lawyer.

 

[Duranie]

I would be seeking custody and child suppport if I were you...she cannot get child suppport with no custody and I would also ask that all expenses be split like school and extra curricular and medical.

 

[adamwojo]

Thanks. It's nice to recieve support, albeit from strangers The only thing is that I want to try to aviod my kids going to court, being subjected to questioning etc. I am a Physician Assistant and have provided a lot of counseling to families, kids as part of my practice. Its always very difficult for children because they think the outcome (one parent being upset, etc.) is thier fault. My kids have asked many questions and I have worked so hard NOT to alienate thier mother, although she has. If we can't come to a reasonable resolution tomorrow (I doubt we will) I am strongly considering a request for custody. Again, thanks.