Legal Decisions for Joint Custody Child

[Kade Oeding]

Jurisdiction

Idaho

Good Evening,
My daughter was involved in a sexual assault case last year. Luckily, she was able to get away before anything too devastating happened, but it was still a traumatic experience for her. My grievance is that she was instructed by her mother to keep this information from me. (We share 50/50 physical and legal custody of this child) During this time, her mother has been making all of the legal decisions regarding this situation without my knowledge. about 6 months into the investigation, my daughter finally told me what had happened. Now, nearly a year later, she is to appear in court and the mother has still never reached out to me about this situation.
My question is, do i have any legal options to go after her with due to her solely assuming responsibility over my daughters legal well-being in this matter?

 

[Red Kayak]

Details matter, and those details might be best not shared here.

Is mom's reticence due to her being related/acquainted to the miscreant?

 

[adjusterjack]

My question is, do i have any legal options to go after her with due to her solely assuming responsibility over my daughters legal well-being in this matter?

Now that you know about it I suggest you provide moral and emotional support for your daughter instead of making her a pawn in hostilities with your ex.

 

[Kade Oeding]

Now that you know about it I suggest you provide moral and emotional support for your daughter instead of making her a pawn in hostilities with your ex.

Not at all what I'm doing, but thank you for jumping to conclusions!
This is not the first time that I have had issues with her and if I don't take a stand at some point, I will be allowing her to walk all over me until my kids are grown. I am the adoptive parent of my daughter, and her mother treats me like this because, in her words "You're not the real father".
I am the support for my daughter and that's why she finally confided in me against her mothers wishes.

 

[Kade Oeding]

Details matter, and those details might be best not shared here.

Is mom's reticence due to her being related/acquainted to the miscreant?

That is not the case. I adopted my daughter and she leaves me out of all happenings with the kids because she says I'm not the father now that we are divorced. My daughter and i are SUPER close and she tells me everything and that eats her mother alive!

 

[Tax Counsel]

My question is, do i have any legal options to go after her with due to her solely assuming responsibility over my daughters legal well-being in this matter?

The answer to that starts with reading the exact language of your divorce decree, custody orders, and any other orders of the court that has jurisdiction over the custody matter. Without reading that, I cannot begin to say whether she violated any of the court orders by withholding this information from you.

Had you known earlier, what difference would that have made in your daughter's care? Is her mother somehow failing to provide what your daughter needs? Remember, the primary focus of the court will be the best interests of the child.

I strongly recommend you take a copy of all the orders in the case to a family law attorney in your state for advice on this. This is, unfortunately, some not well suited to sorting out on a public message board.

 

[zddoodah]

During this time, her mother has been making all of the legal decisions regarding this situation

Such as?

Now, nearly a year later, she is to appear in court

For what purpose?

the mother has still never reached out to me about this situation.

When you became aware of what had happened, did you contact the mother to discuss what she had done and why? If so, what happened? If not, why not?

My question is, do i have any legal options to go after her with due to her solely assuming responsibility over my daughters legal well-being in this matter?

Sure. You can file a motion with the family court seeking to have her held in contempt. You'd have to consult with a local attorney to find out what the likely result of such a motion would be.

if I don't take a stand at some point, I will be allowing her to walk all over me until my kids are grown.

Kids (plural)? I'm guessing that the daughter in question is a teenager. Do you have more/younger children? From a practicality standpoint, the closer this daughter is to being an adult, the less worthwhile it will be to drag this to court. However, if there are other/younger kids, then that changes things significantly.

 

[Red Kayak]

That is not the case. I adopted my daughter and she leaves me out of all happenings with the kids because she says I'm not the father now that we are divorced. My daughter and i are SUPER close and she tells me everything and that eats her mother alive!

I'm not sure what you mean.

What *I* was trying to hint at is that sometimes a parent tries to sweep such things under the rug. For example, there are sometimes mothers who choose to side with their (pedophile) partners over their child.

Get your legal children counselling during your parenting time, because it must be scary, hurtful, and confusing to be repeatedly told that legal Dad isn't Dad.

 

[Zigner]

Not at all what I'm doing, but thank you for jumping to conclusions!
This is not the first time that I have had issues with her and if I don't take a stand at some point, I will be allowing her to walk all over me until my kids are grown. I am the adoptive parent of my daughter, and her mother treats me like this because, in her words "You're not the real father".
I am the support for my daughter and that's why she finally confided in me against her mothers wishes.

Ya know...I get it. I actually agree that you can't be a doormat. I would, however, urge you to reconsider whether or not THIS incident is the one you want to use in your battle with your ex.