Knowing where children are staying

[CTDad]

Jurisdiction

Connecticut

I live in CT and currently have the children 5 days a week. There has been no history of abuse, and so far the divorce process has been amicable. However, my partner refuses to tell me where the kids are on the two nights they are with her. During the mediation and after the divorce, do I have a right to know where my biological children are staying? And can someone direct me towards CT law codes?

 

[army judge]

I suggest you discuss any legal issues and pose all of your questions to your attorney.

Seeking free legal advice from internet strangers is unwise, also impossible.

No attorney, but the other party has one, you're about to get steamrolled.

 

[adjusterjack]

do I have a right to know where my biological children are staying?

No.

When they are with you it's your business. When they are with her it's her business.

You're only asking for trouble if you keep pushing your obsessive behavior.

 

[zddoodah]

so far the divorce process has been amicable.

So...the current status is that an action for divorce is pending? If so, has the court made temporary orders concerning child custody, visitation and support?

my partner refuses to tell me where the kids are on the two nights they are with her. During the mediation and after the divorce, do I have a right to know where my biological children are staying?

What does the order say?

Subject to what the custody/visitation order says, I disagree with the prior response. You don't have a right to know where they are at all times. Nor do you have a right to know if they stay away from home once in a while. However, each parent generally has a right to know the other's residence address where the kids will be staying when in the other parent's physical custody. It has nothing to do with obsessiveness, and it's something that should be addressed in any properly drafted custody/visitation order.

 

[adjusterjack]

However, each parent generally has a right to know the other's residence address where the kids will be staying when in the other parent's physical custody. I

I don't think that's what is going on here. But I suppose I could be wrong.

 

[Red Kayak]

However, my partner refuses to tell me where the kids are on the two nights they are with her.

Just an observation: you'll to better allowing the other party to hang themselves.

Meaning: should things get to the point where you have a judge making a decision (rather than mediation), fortune usually favors the more credible party. Evasiveness does not help one's credibility.

Is your STBX required by law to provide you with such information? No. Is it reasonable to expect the sharing of such information as part of responsible co parenting? Yes.

Take a few deep breaths, bite your tongue, and start journaling/record keeping. Repeat to yourself daily "the best interests of the children" as your mantra. While you're being the best parent and coparent you can be, taking the high road, your STBX can either meet your energy or look worse and worse. Unless you have credible reason(s) to worry about the safety of the children during the other parent's parenting time, you cannot deny the other parent's parenting time. You can request that your parenting plan be amended to require that such information be shared among the co-parents. However, it's not enforceable unless there is a demonstrable history of other issues. No one is going to care if STBX does tell you if the kids are at the zoo, or staying with grandma. There would be an issue if the children are at a meth lab, or other dangerous places.

So, unless you have reason to believe the STBX is a danger to the children, bide your time.

My ex was similarly coy. It did not go well for him.

 

[justblue]

I live in CT and currently have the children 5 days a week. There has been no history of abuse, and so far the divorce process has been amicable. However, my partner refuses to tell me where the kids are on the two nights they are with her. During the mediation and after the divorce, do I have a right to know where my biological children are staying? And can someone direct me towards CT law codes?

How old are the children? Are they old enough to call/tell you where they are?

 

[army judge]

do I have a right to know where my biological children are staying?

Rights apply in specialized cases, usually where a person is accused of criminal offenses.

However, are you more concerned with your rights, than the rights of your helpless children?

Children who are being forced to deal with a mess created by adults, adults who happen to be their parents, ARE the REAL victims, aren't they???

Take a look at these useful suggestions:

https://jud.ct.gov/Publications/fm250.pdf

Putting children First Video - CT Judicial Branch

Reinstatement to the Bar Application. This is the official website of the State of Connecticut Judicial Branch. It is the mission of the Connecticut Judicial Branch to resolve matters brought before it in a fair, timely, efficient and open manner.

jud.ct.gov

Remote Filing - CT Judicial Branch

https://jud.ct.gov/HomePDFs/parentingprogram.pdf

https://jud.ct.gov/FAQ/ResolutionPlanDate.pdf

 

[leslie82]

I live in CT and currently have the children 5 days a week. There has been no history of abuse, and so far the divorce process has been amicable. However, my partner refuses to tell me where the kids are on the two nights they are with her. During the mediation and after the divorce, do I have a right to know where my biological children are staying? And can someone direct me towards CT law codes?

Unless it's in the divorce decree covering visitation that states the noncustodial parent has to give an address where the kids will be, no. What she does and where she goes on her parenting time is not up to you. Do you give her all your locations the 5 days you have the kids?