Is this legal

[Matt Stange]

Jurisdiction

Michigan

So to be upfront I was dating a few girls off and on. So I appeared on are we dating the same guy and that's where all the slander and defamation begins. Woman A the ring leader has been telling people I'm a meth user/addict and i sell it. I have ongoing case for possession which will be dropped bc it was found in my car. I was hanging out w wrong crowd and it got left in there and I happened to get pulled over. I don't use or sell. Woman A is telling people we have been dating all these months which isn't true,along with woman b. Woman c is saying I messaged her 6-10 months ago but became pushy so she ended it. Not true. Never talked to her. Seen her pic. Woof! Now women who don't know me are name calling douche,crackhead,meth head. Saying they see me on tinder of which I don't have account. Even woman d dates are off. I've seen woman b 4-6 times in 7-8 months I've known her and woman d 4 times in 6-7 months I've known her. Now women I've never talked to or met are coming out of woodworks saying stuff. Im self employed I also have been volunteer little league coach last 9 yrs. So I was a little wild when divorce was final. Im 42 and spent 25 yrs with same woman. These posts are seen by millions. What can I do

 

[zddoodah]

I appeared on are we dating the same guy

Huh?

Woman A the ring leader has been telling people I'm a meth user/addict and i sell it.

Telling what people? Do these people believe her? Why is she doing this? Have you been damaged in any way as a result?

I have ongoing case for possession

Possession of...? Meth?

Woman A is telling people we have been dating all these months which isn't true,along with woman b.

I don't understand the part after the comma. A told people that you and she have dated, but you claim that's not true. Is B also saying that you have been dating A? Or is B saying that you and she have been dating? And, again, who are these people who are being told this?

Now women who don't know me are name calling douche,crackhead,meth head. Saying they see me on tinder

To whom are they saying these things?

Even woman d dates are off.

Huh?

These posts are seen by millions.

I very much doubt that, but where are these posts being made?

What can I do

Sounds like the best thing to do would be to stay away from whatever site you're talking about.

 

[cbg]

Are We Dating The Same Guy? - Wikipedia.

I'd never heard of it either.

 

[army judge]

What can I do

Easy solution, mate, delete ALL of your social media accounts.

Change your cell phone number, or get one of these apps ie:

Three apps, one name. Which Should I Answer app is the best for you?

or one of the others which you can set up to ONLY accept calls and/or texts from people in your contacts, otherwise ALL other callers are summarily blocked!

Stay off of all social media for at least a year.

Create new email accounts and be SELECTIVE as to how you use them.

Lastly, stop seeking random sexual encounters.

Have you not read about the increase in syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia, and several other dreaded sexual diseases?

Behave yourself, set boundaries you won't cross, most of all; restraint in all endeavors, as well as respect for others, life is about much more than quickie sex hook ups.

 

[Tax Counsel]

I have ongoing case for possession which will be dropped bc it was found in my car. I was hanging out w wrong crowd and it got left in there and I happened to get pulled over.

What you need to understand about most possession crimes is that you don't have to actually be carrying it on you to be guilty of the crime. It generally enough that you knew or should have known the illegal item was there and that you had access to it. When drugs are found in your car on a traffic stop and you are the only one in the car, you're going to get charged with possession of the illegal item and a prosecutor will not drop it simply because it was on the floor of your car rather than in your pockets, purse, etc. Since it was found in your car, and you were in the car when the cop stops you the usual presumption is that you knew about it and had access to it. You might get a decent plea bargaining deal from the prosecutor if this the first time you have been arrested for this, but unless there is something that would require the evidence to be excluded (e.g. an illegal search of the car) I don't think it likely that it'll be simply dropped based on what little information you provided. If you don't have an attorney for this, then you should see about getting an attorney.

 

[leslie82]

So to be upfront I was dating a few girls off and on. So I appeared on are we dating the same guy and that's where all the slander and defamation begins. Woman A the ring leader has been telling people I'm a meth user/addict and i sell it. I have ongoing case for possession which will be dropped bc it was found in my car. I was hanging out w wrong crowd and it got left in there and I happened to get pulled over. I don't use or sell. Woman A is telling people we have been dating all these months which isn't true,along with woman b. Woman c is saying I messaged her 6-10 months ago but became pushy so she ended it. Not true. Never talked to her. Seen her pic. Woof! Now women who don't know me are name calling douche,crackhead,meth head. Saying they see me on tinder of which I don't have account. Even woman d dates are off. I've seen woman b 4-6 times in 7-8 months I've known her and woman d 4 times in 6-7 months I've known her. Now women I've never talked to or met are coming out of woodworks saying stuff. Im self employed I also have been volunteer little league coach last 9 yrs. So I was a little wild when divorce was final. Im 42 and spent 25 yrs with same woman. These posts are seen by millions. What can I do

If they didn't lie about their experience with you, then it isn't defamation or libel. If you can prove they did lie and that it did damage your reputation in any way, you would go after that individual for libel or defamation.

Millions? Depends I suppose the area...there's one for each state generally. Also you fully admit you have a possession charge (are you really sure it's getting dismissed?), and then you claim all these women you never talked to or dated - but did they have receipts? I'm in one of those groups and generally, women come with receipts to show what a pos the guy is.

 

[leslie82]

Huh?




Telling what people? Do these people believe her? Why is she doing this? Have you been damaged in any way as a result?




Possession of...? Meth?




I don't understand the part after the comma. A told people that you and she have dated, but you claim that's not true. Is B also saying that you have been dating A? Or is B saying that you and she have been dating? And, again, who are these people who are being told this?




To whom are they saying these things?




Huh?




I very much doubt that, but where are these posts being made?




Sounds like the best thing to do would be to stay away from whatever site you're talking about.

There are FB groups called "Are we dating the same guy?" or "Don't Date Him" and women can post about their experiences with guys they date or were married to - or women post and ask is the a guy a red flag or green flag. I haven't seen one with "millions" of members though. Generally each state has one or for an area. So he's claiming that some women have posted in the group saying they dated him but that he doesn't know them...but there are a few women who have dated him and says they're lying too. Which is generally what a lot of these guys say. And they usually have women in the group watching it to report back to them if they get posted.

 

[Tax Counsel]

There are FB groups called "Are we dating the same guy?" or "Don't Date Him" and women can post about their experiences with guys they date or were married to - or women post and ask is the a guy a red flag or green flag.

Perhaps it's because I'm a skeptical person by nature, but I see the potential for abuse in these kinds of groups.

 

[leslie82]

Perhaps it's because I'm a skeptical person by nature, but I see the potential for abuse in these kinds of groups.

The one I'm in - I saw one post and in the comments a woman said that it was her boyfriend and as far as she knew they were in a very committed relationship but if that person truly has any evidence about him to send it - but that someone had done the same thing in another group similar to it and that it wasn't true? So yes it can happen - and I would assume if the man that was posted could prove that someone lied about him go down legal avenues.

The majority of what I've seen, multiple people verify what a poster says (most often the original post is anonymous) and they have screenshots, post the criminal record, etc. Like a friend's ex husband has been on it like 3 times in the last week and women besides my friend verifying that he's an awful human being. Abusive. Etc.

I thought about posting my ex husband but the women he has hooked up with since our divorce aren't the type who would even probably ever do a background check (he usually has hooked up with other addicts, or women he meets in rehab and then they relapse together).

 

[Tax Counsel]

and I would assume if the man that was posted could prove that someone lied about him go down legal avenues.

But that's the problem, isn't it? You assume what others say about the guy, even the anonymous posts (which apparently are the majority of the original posts) and if any others in that group see him, they'll treat him as though those statements were true. But, especially with anonymous posts, the statements may not be true at all. Then you shove the burden on the guy to prove he didn't do something (and proving a negative is generally much more difficult than proving a positive, i.e. it's easier to prove that someone did something than it is that the accused person can prove they didn't do it). And how is the guy supposed to correct the lies when he is not part of that group and is not privy to what's being said about him? You mention going down "legal avenues". Why should a person who hasn't done anything wrong have to go to court, etc., to address the lie? That's not cheap to do, and yet you think that's the obligation he should have to take to clear himself? That just strikes me as wrong.

That's why I'm skeptical about these "share your story about how bad someone else was" kind of sites. I feel similarly about groups of men who gather to talk trash about the women they have dated, divorced persons who get together to trash their ex spouses to others, and other similar kinds of sites that are organized with a sole purpose to trash someone else.

Some relationships end with no fault of either person, yet even in those break-ups it is not uncommon for at least one of them to be bitter about it and blow things out of proportion to justify to others why they hate the other person. They want others to join them in their feeling that they were wronged. Sometimes they'll be right, sometimes they'll be wrong and not realize it because of the bitterness standing in the way, and other times they know they are lying and are doing it as part of their scorched earth policy to burn to the ground anything and everything that touches the life of the person they have come to hate so much.

While I see value in warning others about someone who is truly dangerous, from what I've seen these groups tend to end up devolving into gripe sessions or trash talk sites. It is unfortunately not hard for a group initially set up with good intentions to end up sliding down the slope to a group that ends up being a site that harms those who aren't dangerous and are not deserving of the hate that is being spread about them.

That's why I take information that comes out of such groups with a huge grain of salt.