i want my child back

[rebechavez]

hello, i am in a gay relationship n when i gave birth to my daughter i decided to add my partners name to the birth certificate. I just completed re-hab for my addiction. My ex partner and i share custody of a 3 year old. I was not court ordered to enter into re-hab i willingly admitted my self because i knew what i needed to do for myself. while i was in re-hab we both went to court n the judge allowed my child over night visits 4 times a week. my ex is now giving me problems because i refuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship with her. I now reside in another town living with my parents n enrolling in a training program. I am 30 years old n my ex is also 30 n living with the parents as well. It is my weekend to have my child n my ex told me i could"nt have her anymore because i am no longer living at the re-hab address. I went to talk to police n they told me they could not help me, i am devestated. I was told by my ex that i dont have a chance of ever getting her back. do i stand a chance at all of getting my biological daughter back????

 

[army judge]

hello, i am in a gay relationship n when i gave birth to my daughter i decided to add my partners name to the birth certificate. I just completed re-hab for my addiction. My ex partner and i share custody of a 3 year old. I was not court ordered to enter into re-hab i willingly admitted my self because i knew what i needed to do for myself. while i was in re-hab we both went to court n the judge allowed my child over night visits 4 times a week. my ex is now giving me problems because i refuse to stay in an unhealthy relationship with her. I now reside in another town living with my parents n enrolling in a training program. I am 30 years old n my ex is also 30 n living with the parents as well. It is my weekend to have my child n my ex told me i could"nt have her anymore because i am no longer living at the re-hab address. I went to talk to police n they told me they could not help me, i am devestated. I was told by my ex that i dont have a chance of ever getting her back. do i stand a chance at all of getting my biological daughter back????

You need to speak with a lawyer.
You are the only lawful parent of that child.
A woman can't be a father.
Therefore, she (your ex) has no lawful standing to parent your child.
But, you've made a mess of this, too!
You desperately need a living, breathing lawyer, not a virtual one.
Why?
Because, a court order is probably the only easy (and legitimate) way you're going to get that baby back.



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

 

[mightymoose]

hello, i am in a gay relationship n when i gave birth to my daughter i decided to add my partners name to the birth certificate.

I am not certain that was legal, and am surprised it was allowed. Your partner is not the father of the child and does not belong on the birth certificate, though she can certainly be a parent. You should look in to the validity of this certificate so that you don't encounter difficult problems later. Did your ex legally adopt the child? If not, she doesn't have a strong case to make for custody... however you say a court has already awarded her some time. I suspect that has more to do with a mediation agreement though.

It is my weekend to have my child n my ex told me i could"nt have her anymore because i am no longer living at the re-hab address.

Your answer is in the custody papers from the court. If it specifies that visitation with you is to take place at the rehab center then your ex is right. If there is no specification about where you reside and where the visitation takes place then your ex is violating the order. If you were to produce the custody order to law enforcement and the violation was clear you may have some luck getting your visitation. If the ex still did not comply she would not be arrested on the spot and the police would not forcefully take the child from her and hand it over to you- however she would have to answer to misdemeanor charges for violating the order, and she would weaken her position negotiating a new agreement.
If your custody order is vague and does not clearly address the situation then you need to get back into court and go through the process again to obtain a new order with clear terms that can be enforced.

I went to talk to police n they told me they could not help me, i am devestated.

Why were they unable to help you? What did you ask them to do? Did you produce a copy of the order? Without the court order in your hand you have no argument to make.

I was told by my ex that i dont have a chance of ever getting her back. do i stand a chance at all of getting my biological daughter back????

That requires a lot more information to answer, but I would say generally, yes, you have a very good chance of getting her back. That has a lot more to do with social services.

 

[Proserpina]

Expect your ex to file for custody based upon de facto parenting standing.

My bigger question is, where IS the other biological parent?

 

[rebechavez]

Thank you all for your advice on my situation. When i went back to re-hab to pick up my baby i did not have my court order because i did not expect problems since my ex was civil while i was in re-hab. once i completed the program i told her our relationship was un healthy n that i must make a new start without her. thats when she told me to get a lawyer and take her to court. I read my court order n it did specify the re-hab was where i was supposed to have my child. my ex won a settlement and has money for a top notch attorney which she already hired, on the other hand i cant afford one n its tearing me apart. She did not legally adopt my child, as for the biological father he is absent n not my childs life. thank you all again for your time n consideration.

 

[Proserpina]

Absent doesn't mean he didn't/doesn't have rights.

And seriously - your ex can make your life very, very difficult. You have a mess on your hands, and you will need an attorney to help you fix it.

 

[mightymoose]

From what you describe, everything that your ex and the police told you seems correct. You were not entitled ot visitation unless you were at the rehab center, and she did not have to give the child to you otherwise. If you are not going to be at the rehab center then you need to seek a modification to the custody/visitation order.

Again, the police could not help you because you could not produce the order for them to enforce... and even if you had it seems they would have found that you were not in compliance with the terms and would have referred you to the court.

You don't need a lot of money for a top notch attorney- what you need is some patience and determination to endure a a long and grueling process over visitation. You can find plenty of free legal aid resources to help you sort this out. However an attorney certainly wouldn't hurt.

 

[Proserpina]

I would hate to see this OP spin her wheels and dig deeper in the mire; this is one of the few occasions where I truly think an attorney is basically a necessity for the OP. At least initially.

(Given that a) we can't really establish whether the ex is a legal parent or not, b) whether the current court orders are actually enforceable and c) there is a biological parent out there who may be able to intervene too)

 

[mightymoose]

Certainly an attorney is best, but if she feels that is not an option for financial reasons she should know that she is not helpless and has options.
From a law enforcement perspective, a signed and stamped court order is a valid court order and can be enforced. If there is a problem with that order it will remain valid until the court changes it. Legal parent or not, it appears the court awarded custody/visitation to the ex.
It is upto the other biological parent to assert his rights. It appears he is out of the picture and will not factor in to this.

 

[disagreeable]

It is nice to see the law has now effectively buried gays into the same mess everyone else faces.

 

[rebechavez]

Thank you all, for your comments and opionions i do apprieciate your time and advice. I will keep you posted on the outcome of my situation, in the meantime i will look for free representation n hope i will have a positive outcome. Till then i am very grateful to you all thanks again.