husband signing over paternal rights

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floyd1018

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Ok I have a little story here. I have looked all over the web for some answers and can't find anything. My husband is being told by his 22yr old exgirlfriend that her 1 yr old daughter is his. (She has also made claims that the child is someone elses as well). He told her while she was pregnant that he wanted a dna test after the child was born since she insisted that he care for the child. Over a year later, she has finally filed for one supposedly but we haven't received any papers yet. (She continues to drag him through the mud saying she filed before when she really didn't, on three other seperate occassions). My husband is sick of messing with her, has only seen the child on 2 different occasions (he did this willingly at her request). This ex of his, does not work, does not have a vehicle, lives on welfare and also has a 3 yr old son in which she does not know who the father is and who lives with her mom 90% of the year. I know first hand how she is with her kids, and while I think there is a good chance my husband is the father of her little girl, there is a chance he is not. He has decided that if he is the father of her, that he wants to give up his legal, financial and physical responsibility to her because he hasn't been a part of her life for over a year and because he is convinced as am I that his ex is just trying to find someone to take care of her monetarily. My husband fears that child support paid to her will not be used to actually care for the child. He also believes she is a horrible mom and doesn't want to be involved or have any contact with her what so ever. My husband is a great father to our newborn son and a great step father to my six yr old daughter. In his defense I know that he would care for the child financially if he knew his ex would not blow the money on partying and what not. He even talked about trying to gain custody of her if she is his, because he feels she will be better off with us. However, in the state of Arkansas it is REALLY hard to take a child from the mother and he is afraid of loosing the case.

What does my husband need to do if he does decide to not be a part of this childs life? Can a lawyer draw up papers releaving him of those responsibilities? If he chooses to try and gain custody of her, what types of things will help him? Anything anyone has will help!!! Thanks!
 
and more...

I also want to state a few other things. I have personally been to his ex's house and seen her interact with her kids. Her son doesn't even have a bed there, there is little furniture in the house at all, her own mom has asked her to sign her rights away to her son because they care for him and she doesn not. She thumps her son in the head to punish him and drags the little girl around by one arm. She has never kept a job for more than a couple weeks, she leaves her kids with anyone who will take them to go out and party, she has told me personally that she sells her foodstamps to get cash, she does not have a phone to keep in contact with her. Her own sister said she is wild and doesn't want to care for her kids and that she just wants someone (my husband) to come back to her. I have kept friendly contact with her to keep things calm between my husband and her and bought the little girl birthday gifts and went and seen her myself a few times. As a mother myself, I am horrified by her. However, again its very hard to prove any of this in court and the state of arkansas has a great running record with keeping kids with their mother. My husband is not trying to get out of paying child support but he does not understand why he should have to care for her when her own mother doesn't. And he doesn't want to personally have any contact with his ex because she begs him to come back, black mails him to get what she wants and makes him miserable.....
 
Let me ask you a question, if this child is not being properly cared for then why in the world does your husband think he can just walk away from all of this? That is not the case.

He should file a request for paternity NOW because he needs to know if the child is his or not. If it is then he can file for custody. No he cannot terminate his rights when she is not re-married.

I do not understand if there is an issue in this house, why CPS has not been involved?

If the child is his he will be required to pay child support. He will have visitation.

In the meantime, if she collects welfare and your husband is the father of this child, the state will seek reimbursement from him.

It is best for your husband to file a motion to determine paternity, and so that if this child is not being properly cared for, the father can seek custody and or visitation.

In the meantime, her mother can file for temp custody if she feels the child is not being properly cared for.

Is the child is being mistreated and the house is a total disaster, take pictures and document everything until paternity can be established.

If things are that bad and you can prove abuse or neglect, call CPS. Your husdand should see an attorney.
 
she is married

My husband does not want to just walk away however, hes kinda of in a situation that he is damned if he does and damned if doesn't.

His ex girlfriend is legally married, never seperated or divorced, to someone in her past. She refused to sign divorce papers when her husband brought them to her. I don't know that this really relates to anything but she now has two children by someone other than her husband.

I spoke to her yesterday and she said she wanted him to sign over his rights, because if she can't have it the way she wants it, she doesn't want him involved at all.

Won't it cost him if he requests the paternity test? From my understanding, its like 600 dollars which is not going to pop up in thin air around here LOL.

I have thought about calling DHS or CPS however, while I was horrified as a mother to have seen what I say and know what I know, I don't know that they will be as horrified as I am. Her house wasn't trashed or nasty, it obviously had a one year old running loose in it. There wasn't much for furniture but the baby did have a crib. I would not live like her or treat my kids the way she does but I don't think the legal system is going to see anything wrong with it as long as the child isn't in danger and not hungry, they aren't going to do much. Its still an ongoing thought though....

We would have plenty of charecter type witnesses to help our case against her if we do try for custody but being through a custody battle with my older daughter and my ex, I know what the judges look for and unless she has a needle hanging out of her arm, or is a lesbian, the judges aren't going to take the baby from her even though I know that we can provide better for her.
 
Was she married to someone at the time of the birth of the child in question? If not, then there is no legal father, and your husband needs to request paternity testing.

If he does not have 600.00, he is going to be in sad shape when he get a whopping bill from the state for all the assistance she has been on. If the child is his then he will get a bill. Did anyone sign this child's birth cert or papernity paperwork? Again if paternity was never established by anyone, your husband could be on the hook. Might as well get this cleared up now.

She does not know what she is talking about when she says "sign over rights". You cannot terminate rights when somebody has never been declared the legal or bio father. She does not know what she is talking about. Also, somebody needs to adopt the child in place of that and if she is getting a divorce, that is not going to happen.

So, again, please encourage your husband to establish paternity is none has been established on this child. If the child turns out to be his, then you can take the appropriate steps. Go to the website I refered you to for more information. He is potentially facing a whole lot of trouble when she eventually pulls her head out of her butt, and wants patenrity testing then she will sue for back support, and the state will seek reimbursement of the welfare she has been on.
 
married

Yes she was legally married at the time she gave birth to both her children. That website was very helpful, thank you for supplying that. We have yet to recieve a letter from the dna place, she swears she really did file this time so I guess if we don't hear anything here soon, he will call them and find out what he can do. Any other suggestions would be welcome. Thanks again.
 
If she was legally married at the time then her husband should be on the birth cert for the child in question, unless he has disputed paternity then yes your husband might be on the hook eventually.

If the child is not being properly cared for, then encourage the grandmother to seek custody until something else is done.
 
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