Grandparents rights for visitation

[JimmyNeal]

I am going to go out on a limb and say that 90% of grandparents probably are great people and were great parents. Their children would love for them to be great grandparents.

And you would have that 90% punished by laws taking away their rights and their grand children's rights to be together as a family because of the other 10% (which I would estimate as only 5% or less)?

You keep wanting to talk about bad grandparents and parents. Your world-view is extremely narrow. Parents die every day, leaving children to be cared for. Parents are stricken with mental and physical illness, killed and maimed in a needless war, divorced and thus demonized by the other spouse, and countless other ways separated from their children or somehow unable to care for them. You are advocating for laws that affect all of these innocent people based on a very few bad people who are covered by the criminal system.

Social Services and CASA are needlessly breaking apart families and causing trauma to countless children by their repressive policies, and your attitude here only serves to strengthen my opinion on this. Like your elderly neighbors: You and your other neighbors gawk and talk for 25 years, spreading rumors about people you rarely see and know nothing about. Did any of you ever think to knock on the door and ask if they needed any help?

You mentioned that the woman has agoraphobia, do you know anything about that condition and how it affects people and their families? When an entire community rushes to condemn rather than lend a hand, it's no wonder that they may have greater problems 25 years down the road.

I'm sorry Duranie, but your attitude on family and culture really sucks, and the values you espouse are the same values that have torn the American Family apart. I've seen Social Services and CASA in action and they both are quick to condemn and separate rather than assist and unify. I have a very good friend of 27 years who works for DFCS. She used to work in Child Protective Services and she will tell you the same exact things I am telling you. She has a Masters in Social Work and transferred out of that department because of DFCS' harmful policies and procedures. She couldn't sleep at night knowing that her actions were harming the children and families she desperately wanted to help.

Because of a very small percentage of our culture who range from mentally ill to just plain mean, you support laws that separate children from the family members who love and care for them the most. This is very troubling to me, especially since you claim to work in the system that is supposed to insure the best circumstances for America's children. I can only hope that you will consider the points I have made here and maybe some day you will come to be a true Family Advocate. America is in decline partly because of her piss-poor attitude toward Family Values. If we want our culture to survive we need to correct this problem. You absolutely cannot advocate for children in the absence of their families, immediate and extended.

 

[Duranie]

Social services is a mess and there is no quick fix.

I am a childrens advocate, not a family advocate. The problem in the system is that CPS and most social services want family reunification. In many cases the children are placed with the grandparents, other cases they are placed in foster care. Most of the deaths of children out here involve families that had open files with CPS, or the case was recently closed.

Grandparents rights are not a cure all to the problems in society. There are downsides to putting at at risk child in the care of the grandparents, Some they defy court orders and will allow contact between the parent (their child) and the grandkids. Most do follow court orders, but some have tunnel vision and they want to put the blame on the other parent, and the other pair of grandparents. Grandparents often interfere with custody proceeding, and tend to think their rights are superior than the other biological parent.

You can argue all you want but I will never agree that placing as child with a grandparent, and allowing grandparent visitation is in the childs best interest 100% of the time. There are alot of factors to consider and ultimately, the parents wishes are going to be considered. I would hope that all families can be close and communicate for the sake of the kids but that just is not the case all the time.

When grown children refuse to communicate with their parents, most of the time there is a viable reason. Children don't usually grow estranged from their parents with no reason.

 

[JimmyNeal]

Social services is a mess and there is no quick fix.

At least we agree on something.

I am a childrens advocate, not a family advocate.

Children do not come to you from a vacuum, they have a family that most love dearly despite the problems that may exist. You said yourself that even abused kids do not want to be separated from their parent's. Haven't you ever given consideration as to why? If you can't answer that question, you cannot help them.

The problem in the system is that CPS and most social services want family reunification.

This may be the case where you are, but it is not here. The problem with the system is too little funding,not enough caseworkers, and caseworkers without proper qualifications.

Most of the deaths of children out here involve families that had open files with CPS, or the case was recently closed.

This was the reality in Georgia until the Atlanta Journal did several in depth stories. Instead of improving funding and hiring more qualified people, they now take the kids on the vaguest of suspicions and don't seem to care if there really is no abuse. I call it a "cover your ass mentality." It's a lot easier than actually investigating the child's situation.

Grandparents rights are not a cure all to the problems in society. There are downsides to putting at at risk child in the care of the grandparents, Some they defy court orders and will allow contact between the parent (their child) and the grandkids. Most do follow court orders, but some have tunnel vision and they want to put the blame on the other parent, and the other pair of grandparents. Grandparents often interfere with custody proceeding, and tend to think their rights are superior than the other biological parent.

Many of these things are true, but these are the minority and you should not punish good people with good intentions because some abuse the system.

You can argue all you want but I will never agree that placing as child with a grandparent, and allowing grandparent visitation is in the childs best interest 100% of the time.

I never said that it was.

When grown children refuse to communicate with their parents, most of the time there is a viable reason. Children don't usually grow estranged from their parents with no reason.

This is often not the fault of the parent(s). Children are influenced by many other factors in our culture. We have lost the extended family and it has been replaced by gangs, drugs, bad influences and many other negative factors. These are facts that you can take to the bank: children who grow up in a home with an extended family are far more likely to grow up without any major problems, abuse is far less likely and their lives are much more successful. (try google). Children who are taken from their parents will have far fewer problems if given to family members than those who are placed in foster homes. (try google).

What I'm saying here is no secret and I claim to have no special insight. These things are taught in Psychology and Sociology classes all over this country and the rest of the world. This is the reason why Georgia had and your area has a blanket reunification policy. But, as with anything else, there are exceptions to the rule. Not having the proper funding and caseworkers with proper qualifications, many mistakes are made in the process of "cutting corners." Kids die because caseworkers don't take the time to find those exceptions. Georgia now just takes the kids to cover their own asses and as a result many innocent parents are caught in the very wide net and their children suffer the consequences. The root problem still has not been rectified. They're just going to have to "come off the hip" and spend the money necessary to do the job properly, or keep screwing up.

I am interested in some answers to a few questions if you don't mind:

Have you ever challenged a caseworker's decision? If so, what happened?

Do you do follow ups to see what effects your and Social Service's decisions have had on the children you service?

Are there any formal educational requirements and/or background experience for your position?

Do you work to support the decisions already made by the caseworker?

If you are to advocate for the best interests of the child, by what criteria do you make your decisions?

 

[jimmysgirl]

parents have rights grandparents dont

the bottom line is parents have a constitutional right to decide who can have contact with THEIR children. period.

 

[JimmyNeal]

the bottom line is parents have a constitutional right to decide who can have contact with THEIR children. period.

This is BS. Show me where the constitution states this.

This is one of my per peeves. people stating constitutional rights that do not exist. Since the constitution deals with government and individual rights, if anything the child would have a right to association with his/her grandparents. Fact is that the constitution just doesn't cover this issue. I guess our founding fathers just figured their descendants would have enough sense to keep the extended family intact.

 

[Scooterdog]

It is in the best interest of the child to see the grandparents in a situation like this.

File a petetion for visitation. You could file for custody, but you may lose on that. Any reasonable judge will ream the parents out in open court, and grant you some visitation.

I would question the mental stability of someone who would deny a good grandparent/s visitation. Kids love grandparents and vise versa.

Good luck, hope you get the time you so much deserve.

 

[Scooterdog]

the bottom line is parents have a constitutional right to decide who can have contact with THEIR children. period.

What country is this? I've heard of a right to free association, but that's a far cry from such a claim as you are making here.

None of the 50 states nor the US Const. has that in there sorry to say.