Friend being physically abused by parents, parents threaten retaliation if CPS is called

A

alkyjrux

New Member
Jurisdiction
Massachusetts
First, some background. I'm 14, my friend is 13, and we both live in Massachusetts.

My friend, let's call him Joe, has been abused by his parents for years. He just told me about this today. His parents constantly scream at him until he cries, and have physically abused him on and off over the last few years. He is mildly autistic, and when he was 5 or 7, his parents broke his stuff when he threw a tantrum. Last year, his dad choked him for approx. 20-30 seconds and beat him with a soup spoon.

His parents threaten that if he calls CPS, they will hurt him badly. He is trans and bi, and his parents don't know. They have made it clear that they will not accept him if he comes out. He is afraid that they will find out somehow. I'm scared for his life, and I know CPS in MA well. There are no bruises or other physical injuries, so they'll leave, and his parents might kill him once they leave.

Please advise.
 
PLEASE speak to a trusted adult about this. Your school's counselor is probably a good place to start.
 
1) If he's enrolled in school, encourage him to meet with a guidance counsellor. All teachers are mandated reporters, but I think a guidance counselor might be better than average at hooking your friend up with resources.

2) Realize that a way that child abusers control their victims is to condition their victims into fearing that the police (and anyone who can help). In actuality, only a stupid idiot would hurt someone badly for contacting CPS, since doing so would be grounds for contacting CPS at the least, and criminal charges at the worst.

If you have a good relationship with your parent(s)/guardian(s), discuss this with them, because frankly this is too much for a 14 year old to bear alone. If that is not an option, then work with your school's GSA (Gay Straight Alliance). If that is not an option, than reach out other friendly organizations. For example, if your family is affiliated with some religion, your clergyperson might be helpful.

Good luck.
 
Anyone can and should report ANYTHING her or she knows about ANY child being abused or harmed.

Anyone can do it using a number of online tools ANONYMOUSLY.

https://www.mass.gov/how-to/report-child-abuse-or-neglect

All reports of suspected child abuse or neglect must be phoned in to DCF.

Please call immediately if you know of, or suspect, an incident of child abuse or neglect.

During regular business hours (8:45 a.m.-5 p.m. M-F) call the Department of Families and Children (DCF) area office that serves the city or town where the child lives.

Nights, weekends, and holidays dial the Child-at-Risk Hotline at (800) 792-5200.

***By phone***
If a child is in immediate danger, call 911.

During regular business hours (8:45 a.m. - 5 p.m. M-F) call the DCF area office that serves the city or town where the child lives.

* Note that some cities have more than one DCF office. Use the coverage directory for Boston, Springfield, or Worcester to figure out which office to call.

After hours, or on weekends, call the Child-Risk-Hotline 1-800-792-5200.

Find a DCF office near you.
https://www.mass.gov/orgs/massachusetts-department-of-children-families/locations?_page=1

Abuse

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Table of Contents
Abuse
This definition is not dependent upon location. Abuse can occur while the child is in an out-of-home or an in-home setting.

The non-accidental commission of any act by a caregiver which causes or creates a substantial risk of physical or emotional injury or sexual abuse of a child; or

The victimization of a child through sexual exploitation or human trafficking, regardless if the person responsible is a caregiver.
Caregiver definition

A child's parent, stepparent, guardian, or any household member entrusted with the responsibility for a child's health or welfare
Any other person entrusted with responsibility for a child's welfare, whether in the child's home, a relative's home, a school setting, a child care setting (including babysitting), a foster home, a group care facility, or any other comparable setting. As such "caregiver" includes, but is not limited to:
School teachers
Babysitters
School bus drivers
Camp counselors
The "caregiver" definition should be construed broadly and inclusively to encompass any person who at the time in question is entrusted with a degree of responsibility for the child. This specifically includes a caregiver who is him/herself a child such as a babysitter under age 18.

Physical injury definition

Death, fracture of a bone, subdural hematoma, burns, impairment of any organ, soft tissue swelling, skin bruising and any other such nontrivial injury depending upon such factors as the child's age, circumstances under which the injury occurred, and the number and location of bruises.

Emotional injury definition

An impairment to or disorder of the intellectual or psychological capacity of a child as evidenced by an observable and substantial reduction in the child's ability to function with a normal range of performance and behavior.

Sexual abuse definition

Any non-accidental act by a caregiver upon a child that constitutes a sexual offense under the laws of the Commonwealth or any sexual contact between a caregiver and a child for whom the caregiver is responsible.

Sexually exploited child definition

As defined in MGL Chapter 119, Section 21, any person under the age of 18 who has been subjected to sexual exploitation because such person:

Is the victim of the crime of sexual servitude pursuant to section 50 of chapter 265 or is the victim of sex trafficking as defined in 22 United States Code 7105
Engages, agrees to engage or offers to engage in sexual conduct with another person in exchange for a fee, in violation of subsection (a) of section 53A of chapter 272, or in exchange for food, shelter, clothing, education or care
Is a victim of the crime of inducing a minor into prostitution under section 4A of chapter 272, or
Engages in common night walking or common streetwalking under section 53 of chapter 272
Human trafficking victim definition

The following is based on MGL Chapter 233, Section 20M and MGL Chapter 265, Sections 50 and 51.

A person who is subjected to harboring, recruitment, transportation, provision, obtaining, patronizing, or soliciting for the purpose of:

Sex trafficking (i.e., inducement to perform a commercial sex act, forced sexual services and/or sexually explicit performance), and/or
Labor trafficking (i.e., forced services, involuntary servitude, peonage, debt bondage or slavery)
 
Let me guess.

The advise you want to hear is how you can get Joe away from his parents and to come live in your home?

(Other than, Please advise) you haven't actually asked a legal question.)
 
cbg said:
Let me guess.

The advise you want to hear is how you can get Joe away from his parents and to come live in your home?

(Other than, Please advise) you haven't actually asked a legal question.)
Click to expand...

That seems to be the hope/dream in these cases.

Realistically, it's a bad idea. None of us are going to advise kidnapping or running away. And anyway, OP is a minor.
 
Ben Donnelly said:
First, some background. I'm 14, my friend is 13, and we both live in Massachusetts.

My friend, let's call him Joe, has been abused by his parents for years. He just told me about this today. His parents constantly scream at him until he cries, and have physically abused him on and off over the last few years. He is mildly autistic, and when he was 5 or 7, his parents broke his stuff when he threw a tantrum. Last year, his dad choked him for approx. 20-30 seconds and beat him with a soup spoon.

His parents threaten that if he calls CPS, they will hurt him badly. He is trans and bi, and his parents don't know. They have made it clear that they will not accept him if he comes out. He is afraid that they will find out somehow. I'm scared for his life, and I know CPS in MA well. There are no bruises or other physical injuries, so they'll leave, and his parents might kill him once they leave.

Please advise.
Click to expand...

You need to talk to a trusted adult as mentioned. Counselor. Teacher.

I found this: https://www.mass.gov/how-to/report-child-abuse-or-neglect

These are who are mandated reporters: https://www.mass.gov/how-to/report-child-abuse-or-neglect-as-a-mandated-reporter
 

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