rattiecrazy101
New Member
To make this as short and sweet as possible, I was in a 6 1/2 yr. relationship with my bf, had two boys, now 10 and 13. We split 7 yrs. ago due to his abuse on me as I gained several black eyes, had my life threatened, punched so hard when pregnant with 2nd son I lost hearing went to audiologist. I have a police report with pictures, I had an xray of a orbital fracture on my eye now the xray is too old for evidence. Anyhow, I am with someone I love and great with my boys now 7 yrs. recently engaged last year.
The problem: THE EX. He punched my son a few weeks ago in the arm when the kids were with him. My son told me but they were due to go on vacation. My son, 13, told me he wanted to go on vacation then he is DONE in THAT house. I called child services whom interviewed both boys and ex. She is wishy washy because she hasn't come to her conclusion of the incident even though my youngest told her how they are punched, slapped,kicked etc. The girlfriend he has, first since our split of now almost 2 yrs, swears at my kids, calling my youngest an "F...loser" They both work locally as paraeducators. Four adults last year witnessed my son, 10, being punched in the ex's girlfriend's vehicle.
I don't know what to do at this point. Both boys are clearly stating they do not want to go to Dad's. We had a parentage order in court and we have had 50/50. He's tried taking me two other times to court for various things but the court just told him it was a waste of their time. I have never filed any papers, he's been the one bringing me to court. Did I mention that in our state 50/50 households, only one can get food stamps...guess who gets them? Yes, he does. I wasn't working for a few months while I was switiching jobs and I got them to help because unemployment didn't help. As soon as I got a job I didn't reapply because I didn't need them. I did the "right" thing as other people could use them more than we needed them. He ran right out and got them for himself. I'm very frustrated because I have tried to write in my affidavits the issues that happen. His girlfriend and him bring my kids out of state to a casino the kids are NOT allowed in and make them wait outside while they gamble from anywhere to 1/2 hour to over an hour. It's like they are little dogs waiting for their masters! No one seems to be hearing what I am trying to tell them. My youngest told the child services that they punch, kick and slap them. When I told her I would probably be supeanaing her, she said I may not answer what you "think" I will say. I was in the meeting with my son and he told her that yes, he fights with his brother and gets marks but his brother doesn't hit as hard as his father! What more do these people want to hear? He has the obvious past abuse with me and now with the kids. I do know that the law in our state says that any unmarried woman is the sole gaurdian of that child. The kids have asked to stay with me and I want to protect them. We have no court ordered schedule so I know legally I am ok having them stay with me even on his "usual" days. They refuse to talk to him. They are allowed to call anytime they wish but they choose not to do so. They were really wondering how our status conference went today. When I pulled into the driveway they asked did we win. The court wanted us to go to mediation...yet again. My oldest boy doesn't want to go at all to his dads and my youngest was like sure a few days is ok. Would it be fair to me to request at our mediation every other weekend as we already have been doing up until the kids refused to go back? Also should I or could I request that my ex have a court ordered therapy sessions for his anger issues that have yet to be resolved even after years? Also, the girlfriend is a huge factor. As the boys put it, "if she's not happy, nobody is happy" simply put. She is a huge stressor for my boys especially she puts a lot of expectations on my ex and the kids. I am not jealous of her, don't care for her but...she treats my kids like crap. She has also gotten in the way as far as my ex and I communicating about our kids. She won't have that. We did ok without her even in the picture, now he is even more of a prick than I think he ever could be. She rules the roost and it is affecting everyone. How can I make this a point even though I don't want to come off sounding like it is ALL her fault even though it partly is? She pressures my ex to points where he is the way he is toward the kids and he allows her to speak to my kids like calling them f....n losers. It's mental and emotional abuse and amazing she works in the school system. My youngest says they hate us. They have time to do the things they want that kids can do like the casino incident. Please please any insight would be greatly appreciated.
The problem: THE EX. He punched my son a few weeks ago in the arm when the kids were with him. My son told me but they were due to go on vacation. My son, 13, told me he wanted to go on vacation then he is DONE in THAT house. I called child services whom interviewed both boys and ex. She is wishy washy because she hasn't come to her conclusion of the incident even though my youngest told her how they are punched, slapped,kicked etc. The girlfriend he has, first since our split of now almost 2 yrs, swears at my kids, calling my youngest an "F...loser" They both work locally as paraeducators. Four adults last year witnessed my son, 10, being punched in the ex's girlfriend's vehicle.
I don't know what to do at this point. Both boys are clearly stating they do not want to go to Dad's. We had a parentage order in court and we have had 50/50. He's tried taking me two other times to court for various things but the court just told him it was a waste of their time. I have never filed any papers, he's been the one bringing me to court. Did I mention that in our state 50/50 households, only one can get food stamps...guess who gets them? Yes, he does. I wasn't working for a few months while I was switiching jobs and I got them to help because unemployment didn't help. As soon as I got a job I didn't reapply because I didn't need them. I did the "right" thing as other people could use them more than we needed them. He ran right out and got them for himself. I'm very frustrated because I have tried to write in my affidavits the issues that happen. His girlfriend and him bring my kids out of state to a casino the kids are NOT allowed in and make them wait outside while they gamble from anywhere to 1/2 hour to over an hour. It's like they are little dogs waiting for their masters! No one seems to be hearing what I am trying to tell them. My youngest told the child services that they punch, kick and slap them. When I told her I would probably be supeanaing her, she said I may not answer what you "think" I will say. I was in the meeting with my son and he told her that yes, he fights with his brother and gets marks but his brother doesn't hit as hard as his father! What more do these people want to hear? He has the obvious past abuse with me and now with the kids. I do know that the law in our state says that any unmarried woman is the sole gaurdian of that child. The kids have asked to stay with me and I want to protect them. We have no court ordered schedule so I know legally I am ok having them stay with me even on his "usual" days. They refuse to talk to him. They are allowed to call anytime they wish but they choose not to do so. They were really wondering how our status conference went today. When I pulled into the driveway they asked did we win. The court wanted us to go to mediation...yet again. My oldest boy doesn't want to go at all to his dads and my youngest was like sure a few days is ok. Would it be fair to me to request at our mediation every other weekend as we already have been doing up until the kids refused to go back? Also should I or could I request that my ex have a court ordered therapy sessions for his anger issues that have yet to be resolved even after years? Also, the girlfriend is a huge factor. As the boys put it, "if she's not happy, nobody is happy" simply put. She is a huge stressor for my boys especially she puts a lot of expectations on my ex and the kids. I am not jealous of her, don't care for her but...she treats my kids like crap. She has also gotten in the way as far as my ex and I communicating about our kids. She won't have that. We did ok without her even in the picture, now he is even more of a prick than I think he ever could be. She rules the roost and it is affecting everyone. How can I make this a point even though I don't want to come off sounding like it is ALL her fault even though it partly is? She pressures my ex to points where he is the way he is toward the kids and he allows her to speak to my kids like calling them f....n losers. It's mental and emotional abuse and amazing she works in the school system. My youngest says they hate us. They have time to do the things they want that kids can do like the casino incident. Please please any insight would be greatly appreciated.
