My names Briana and I'm 17, my boyfriend Cris is 16. About 3 months ago mine and his mother signed a notarized agreement appointing his mom to be my guardian, allowing me to move to Florida with him and his family. Before we moved I lived with him in the house his mom had here in Pennsylvania for about a month. During that month and the previous 6 months that I was dating him, his mom was hardly EVER home. She stayed in New Jersey most of the time and came up for a day or two every few weeks to stock the house with food. Keep in mind this has been going on since he was about 13 or 14, in the house by himself with no transportation if need be.
About a week after we moved to Florida his mom left to New Jersey again for a week or two, leaving us there with his sister and brother. (22 and 21) After a few weeks his sister decided to move back to New Jersey, leaving us and his brother. About a week before she left I found out that I was 5 weeks pregnant, possibly more. A week or two after that his mom came back and stayed for about 2 weeks and then decided to leave and vacation in Cuba for 2 weeks, leaving us no way to contact her other than email that she very rarely, if at all, checks while being there.
Now after 3 days of her being gone, were sitting at home after dinner. We just get done cooking and get ready to clean up, and his brother starts complaining about a stain on the counter left by an ice pop. I simply tell Cris to get a multi-purpose cleaner with bleach from under the sink and spray the counter. His brother starts arguing saying that it will ruin the counter so I try to explain to him that it won't hurt it. He proceeds to yell and argue so Cris asks him why he's yelling, and that I'm only trying to explain to him what he doesn't know. His brother then comes after him pushing him around and they get into a fist fight. I tell his brother that if he doesn't stop, I was going to call the police because Cris is underage. He doesn't listen so I go to get the phone that fell on the floor infront of them. As I'm trying to go for the phone his brother backs into me and turns around yelling at me saying not to touch him. As I'm trying to tell him that I didn't touch him, and that he backed into me, he grabs me and throws me against the wall. He then starts choking me and puts me into a headlock... Keep in mind I'm pregnant and this is a muscular 22 yr old male. As this is going on, Cris is trying to get him off of me and gets him into a headlock. After about a minute his brother yells for him to get off, saying that Cris is going to break his neck, so he lets go. After this, I say I'm going to call the police and his brother says "go ahead, call the cops." So i grab the phone and he rips it out of my hand and throws it against the wall, he then picks it up and takes it into the room where all the other phones are so we have no way to use them. Cris and I then decide to go down the street to his friends house and call the police. We tell them the story and they come out to the house. We write up police reports and press charges, because we know if we don't press charges we'd have to go back in the house with him and after calling the police he'd be extremely mad and go after us again. (He has a really bad temper problem. A few weeks before this he hit his sister while her daughter was right there.) So he gets locked up and the police tell us that if we don't find a place to stay for the night, the dept. of children and families would take us in until his mom got home because we're both under age. So we decide to stay at his friends house for the night until we figure out what we were going to do.
We didn't have any family in Florida except for his mom and his grandma, who were in cuba, unable to be contacted, and his aunt in Miami. We tried to call his aunt but she screwed us over. So I called my family and my grandma bought us a plane ticket back up to Pennsylvania to stay with my mom.
(The day before we left for Pa, the dept. of children and families came out to make sure we had a place to go, so they're aware of the situation. I also called our school in Florida to let them know what's going on.)
After a few days back in Pennsylvania his sister called us from New Jersey and we told her what happened. Then using a great deal of stupidity, she called and bailed her brother out of jail. Now the woman from DCF told us that his brother hitting someone who was pregnant, knowing they were pregnant, was a felony. She also informed us that if his brother was staying at the house, I wasn't aloud back there and visa versa. We don't know how but Cris's sister got in touch with his mom and told her what happened. I'm completely astonished by this, but she was mad that we called the police!
What was I supposed to do, let him sit there and beat me up and have a miscarriage?! She also had the nerve to say that whoever bought him a plane ticket here better buy him one back. His mother hasn't even called him to discuss what happened and its been over a week!
Over the week that we've been here I've decided that I need to be up here with my family during my pregnancy; not that I can go back there if I wanted to anyways. Especially since i didn't even have health insurance down there, and couldn't go to the doctor after being 2 months pregnant..
Cris has also decided that he wants to stay here to help me and be with me and the baby.
So after giving a lot of background information on the situation, I have a few questions.
1.) Does he have any rights as the father on whether he can decide to stay with me and the baby or not, or can his mom make him come back and put him in a dangerous situation again? He's been applying for jobs up here, and he wants to continue with school here; Is this possible?
2.) Will his mom get in trouble with DCF for putting us in the situation she put us in, given her history?
3.) If he stayed here with me, we'd have to get an apartment for us and the baby. Our friend is 18 and has an apartment for him and his girlfriend who's also pregnant. He said he'd talk to his landlord about us moving in there with him and splitting the rent, but in order to legally do that, and be on our own, we'd both have to be emancipated. Now we both talked very carefully about this and read that if we got married we'd be legally emancipated. I don't need anyone telling me that I'm too young to marry or I shouldn't marry just because we're having a baby, I just want advice. Could we do this legally since I'm pregnant, even though were both under 18?
I read that in the state of New Jersey if the female is pregnant, her and the father can automatically apply for a marriage license, is this true? And if it is, would that be a workable solution?
I'd really appreciate any help I can get,
I'm kind of desperate at this point.
Please and Thank You!
About a week after we moved to Florida his mom left to New Jersey again for a week or two, leaving us there with his sister and brother. (22 and 21) After a few weeks his sister decided to move back to New Jersey, leaving us and his brother. About a week before she left I found out that I was 5 weeks pregnant, possibly more. A week or two after that his mom came back and stayed for about 2 weeks and then decided to leave and vacation in Cuba for 2 weeks, leaving us no way to contact her other than email that she very rarely, if at all, checks while being there.
Now after 3 days of her being gone, were sitting at home after dinner. We just get done cooking and get ready to clean up, and his brother starts complaining about a stain on the counter left by an ice pop. I simply tell Cris to get a multi-purpose cleaner with bleach from under the sink and spray the counter. His brother starts arguing saying that it will ruin the counter so I try to explain to him that it won't hurt it. He proceeds to yell and argue so Cris asks him why he's yelling, and that I'm only trying to explain to him what he doesn't know. His brother then comes after him pushing him around and they get into a fist fight. I tell his brother that if he doesn't stop, I was going to call the police because Cris is underage. He doesn't listen so I go to get the phone that fell on the floor infront of them. As I'm trying to go for the phone his brother backs into me and turns around yelling at me saying not to touch him. As I'm trying to tell him that I didn't touch him, and that he backed into me, he grabs me and throws me against the wall. He then starts choking me and puts me into a headlock... Keep in mind I'm pregnant and this is a muscular 22 yr old male. As this is going on, Cris is trying to get him off of me and gets him into a headlock. After about a minute his brother yells for him to get off, saying that Cris is going to break his neck, so he lets go. After this, I say I'm going to call the police and his brother says "go ahead, call the cops." So i grab the phone and he rips it out of my hand and throws it against the wall, he then picks it up and takes it into the room where all the other phones are so we have no way to use them. Cris and I then decide to go down the street to his friends house and call the police. We tell them the story and they come out to the house. We write up police reports and press charges, because we know if we don't press charges we'd have to go back in the house with him and after calling the police he'd be extremely mad and go after us again. (He has a really bad temper problem. A few weeks before this he hit his sister while her daughter was right there.) So he gets locked up and the police tell us that if we don't find a place to stay for the night, the dept. of children and families would take us in until his mom got home because we're both under age. So we decide to stay at his friends house for the night until we figure out what we were going to do.
We didn't have any family in Florida except for his mom and his grandma, who were in cuba, unable to be contacted, and his aunt in Miami. We tried to call his aunt but she screwed us over. So I called my family and my grandma bought us a plane ticket back up to Pennsylvania to stay with my mom.
(The day before we left for Pa, the dept. of children and families came out to make sure we had a place to go, so they're aware of the situation. I also called our school in Florida to let them know what's going on.)
After a few days back in Pennsylvania his sister called us from New Jersey and we told her what happened. Then using a great deal of stupidity, she called and bailed her brother out of jail. Now the woman from DCF told us that his brother hitting someone who was pregnant, knowing they were pregnant, was a felony. She also informed us that if his brother was staying at the house, I wasn't aloud back there and visa versa. We don't know how but Cris's sister got in touch with his mom and told her what happened. I'm completely astonished by this, but she was mad that we called the police!
What was I supposed to do, let him sit there and beat me up and have a miscarriage?! She also had the nerve to say that whoever bought him a plane ticket here better buy him one back. His mother hasn't even called him to discuss what happened and its been over a week!
Over the week that we've been here I've decided that I need to be up here with my family during my pregnancy; not that I can go back there if I wanted to anyways. Especially since i didn't even have health insurance down there, and couldn't go to the doctor after being 2 months pregnant..
Cris has also decided that he wants to stay here to help me and be with me and the baby.
So after giving a lot of background information on the situation, I have a few questions.
1.) Does he have any rights as the father on whether he can decide to stay with me and the baby or not, or can his mom make him come back and put him in a dangerous situation again? He's been applying for jobs up here, and he wants to continue with school here; Is this possible?
2.) Will his mom get in trouble with DCF for putting us in the situation she put us in, given her history?
3.) If he stayed here with me, we'd have to get an apartment for us and the baby. Our friend is 18 and has an apartment for him and his girlfriend who's also pregnant. He said he'd talk to his landlord about us moving in there with him and splitting the rent, but in order to legally do that, and be on our own, we'd both have to be emancipated. Now we both talked very carefully about this and read that if we got married we'd be legally emancipated. I don't need anyone telling me that I'm too young to marry or I shouldn't marry just because we're having a baby, I just want advice. Could we do this legally since I'm pregnant, even though were both under 18?
I read that in the state of New Jersey if the female is pregnant, her and the father can automatically apply for a marriage license, is this true? And if it is, would that be a workable solution?
I'd really appreciate any help I can get,
I'm kind of desperate at this point.
Please and Thank You!
