Edit: Unwed father outcomes?

C

Californiakids

New Member
Jurisdiction
California
Hello I am looking for recommendations for a child custody attorney in San Diego. Anyone with experience with attorneys in the area would be appreciated. Child custody is obviously an important issue and I am sure going in with the right representation vs the wrong representaion can make all the difference. Disclaimer this is involving unwed parents so no divorce issues involved just paternity and custody. Thank you in advance.
 
I'm sorry but we don't give recommendations. You can use the lawyer link toward the top of this page which might possibly help you.
 
Since that cannot be answered I won't start a new thread to ask how many unwed fathers here have been able to secure joint legal and/or physical custody of their child? Also if there is any advice on what to expect trying to ask for that as an unwed father. Is it realistic? Not that money is the sole deciding factor but I have read stories of fathers spending well beyond their means in court to still ending up with a disappointing outcome.
 
If you aren't married to the Mother, you have to go to court & get a DNA test to prove paternity before getting any custody.
 
Californiakids said:
What if she already filed for child support? How can she file for that but I still need to prove paternity?
Click to expand...

Be happy that she filed for child support.
You simply request a paternity test be done for each child.

If a DNA test proves you not to be the father, as is the case in about a 1/3 to 1/2 of all such cases, you're off the hook, mate.

If you are the "baby daddy", you file for visitation.

Custody rarely happens for "baby daddy" types, buddy.

The lesson here is to wrap that little soldier of yours up in strong, KEVLAR body armor to prevent anymore pregnancies.
Better yet, and even safer, stop having all forms of intercourse.

Abstinence prevents a man and his little warrior from having to part with bunches of his hard earned money to support kids he'll very rarely see, love, and interact with because he hates the woman that bred them.


Paternity and child support in California,
You and your little soldier -
READ IT AND LEARN, matey:
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Establishing Paternity FAQs
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Disputing Paternity - paternity_famlaw_selfhelp
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Parentage/Paternity - paternity_famlaw_selfhelp
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Good luck, pal.
 
I guess I should have added we were engaged and living together. She moved out with my daughter at 11 months just before her 1st birthday. My daughter wasn't an accident but a planned child. It is mind boggling how much this woman has changed or rather shown her true colors. Also is it true I have no chance at shared custody? Someone is telling me that it could be possible to get a 2-2-3 schedule and have almost equal parenting time with my daughter.
 
Here's the deciding factor in child custody: Best Interests of the Child. That means who takes the child to doctor/dentist visits, who takes the child to school, who assists the child with activities of daily living, who prepares meals for the child, etc. Culturally in the US, it is still the mother and not the father.
 
Well I know there are some cases in which courts award 50/50 or joint physical custody. I guess my question is what helps unwed fathers achieve that sort of outcome? I am not asking for sole custody to take her away from her mother. I would just like equal or as close to it as I can get amount of time to be a part of my daughters life.
 
Dont put the cart in front of the horse. The first action is to establish paternity. Once you are deemed child's "Legal" Father you and her both may pursue issues like custody, support and, visitation.
 
It is very hard for unwed fathers to get 50/50 physical custody, unless Mom agrees. That's just the way it is. You will more than likely get joint legal custody, as that seems to be the norm across most states (if paternity and other court actions to pursue rights are done during baby/toddlerhood). And if you have not participated in the everyday responsibilities of raising a child (see "Best Interests" post above), you're not going to get 50/50 physical custody.
 
Joint physical custody approaching 50/50 is most likely if you have been involved with her care and parenting all along, have a clean record/no damaging habits, have the means (childcare, safe place to live, etc.) and desire to have the child 50% of the time, and live close enough that passing the child back and forth is realistic.
 

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