Custody

[magareb]

ok "Army Judge" perhaps it's not you or you think this whole scenario is a farce. I will give the benefit of the doubt as I have seen with others and myself that you have given good advice before. Please take my post seriously though. It isn't a joke for me and on my end I'm REALLY trying to do things the right way. If that is the best advice you have for me then it is what it is. However, If you see fit to give advice to a man (that can clearly do things the wrong way BUT knows his life is not his own anymore) then please with all sincerity give the advice that we have all grown accustom to viewing. I am re-posting

 

[magareb]

Mother served papers and playing games with the child regarding visiti

Mom was served Action for divorce papers about 3 weeks ago. Since then she has been playing games with how long I get him. It only impacted 2 days before we (or I) had a big blow out over it and since she has not stopped it. however when the child knows the day is coming as most children do he asks (basically like a reminder) his mother if he is going with me tomorrow (meaning monday or friday). She has either chosen not to answer him (2 fridays ago) or more recently y'day when she told him no. He asked why and no answer. He called me and I told him he knows he comes with me tomorrow (meaning today). I know she wants to get into an argument with me, but for the sake of argument let's say she doesn't stop me from getting him today, What can I do in regards to what I think she is doing to him mentally. Yes I am documenting but I'm not sure I can stay composed even though I know she is trying really hard to provoke me hence is why I don't want to speak to her right now. I don't think I can go to court if she is not keeping him away from me. Is that a correct thought? I just don't feel it is right that he should be made to feel anxious (like today) whether he will see me at the end of the day or not. Though there is no court order I have had him 50/50 mon/tue/wed morning to school and every other wkend up until mother attempted to change it 2 weeks ago that resumed last week. I am waiting for her response to my filing.

 

[army judge]

ok "Army Judge" perhaps it's not you or you think this whole scenario is a farce. I will give the benefit of the doubt as I have seen with others and myself that you have given good advice before. Please take my post seriously though. It isn't a joke for me and on my end I'm REALLY trying to do things the right way. If that is the best advice you have for me then it is what it is. However, If you see fit to give advice to a man (that can clearly do things the wrong way BUT knows his life is not his own anymore) then please with all sincerity give the advice that we have all grown accustom to viewing. I am re-posting

The great thing about growing old, you don't need to care what people think or say about you.

Most of my friends are dead anyway.

Hell, I am here on borrowed time, and have no fear about being called Home.

I offer up my ideas and opinions not to win friends and receive kudos, just because I believe them to be helpful.

The receiver can ignore them, or use them.

But, I'll still persist in dispensing my knowledge.

All I'm saying in your situation is that if a person can't control themselves around certain people, they need to stay away from those people.

I've been married to the same woman for 46 years.

That said, all I know is I am not going to jail or prison for anything or anyone.

I've walked away form shit to keep my freedom.

I've been angry many times in my life.

I love all my kids dearly, but I'm not going to prison because of their mother.

If their mother was behaving like your child's mother, I'd simply stop seeing the kid.

You can't control what others do, neither can a judge or the law.

Some people live to crank other people up.

The mother of your kid seems to behave that way.

If you can't control yourself around her, avoid her.

That might mean you stay away from the kid.

That's not legal advice, that's just my personal philosophy.

My kids are adult, and I'll never have to test my belief.

Your choices are to keep going to court every time she gets a fly up her ass, arguing about nonsense, and washing. repeating until the kid becomes an adult.

She won't change, so this is your life.

She takes you to court, or you take her to court.

The law really doesn't care what you two do, despite what it may say.

The law and the court makes money every time you appear before the idiot wearing teh black dress.

Yeah, I've worn (and occasionally still do) wear that silly, black dress.

It does looks stupid, which is why I rarely wear it these days.

And, as you can see, having lived this nightmare, the law can't control or inhibit er intransigence.

So, that's why I said, I'd just stay away form her and the kid.

As with most things, easier said than done.

 

[magareb]

Much appreciated thought sir. NOW I see where you are coming from (my apologies). As I'm sure through your experiences you have seen this kind of situation take people through a wide range of emotions. I believe she is trying to get some sort of order of protection against me to help take away the time I would see him and or stop the law from possibly giving me residential custody. That being said I am protective by nature (she is aware of this and has benefited from this attitude of mine in the past) and so for her to do some of the things she is doing with regards to the lil fella makes it obvious to everyone. That being said I still don't see it right he would have to feel this way especially being in NYC schools 3rd grade prepping for the exams he will soon be taking. So yes it frustrates me and it feels like I have a muzzle put on. I know with custody IF she will indeed fight to have sole or Doesn't agree to joint come with the child having to be represented (which is what I want) and perhaps a counselor. But until then I hate her playing with his head to get to me and that's the part I'm having trouble with. No I'm not the big bad wolf but I do protect my own and trying to do it the right way.

 

[army judge]

Much appreciated thought sir. NOW I see where you are coming from (my apologies). As I'm sure through your experiences you have seen this kind of situation take people through a wide range of emotions. I believe she is trying to get some sort of order of protection against me to help take away the time I would see him and or stop the law from possibly giving me residential custody. That being said I am protective by nature (she is aware of this and has benefited from this attitude of mine in the past) and so for her to do some of the things she is doing with regards to the lil fella makes it obvious to everyone. That being said I still don't see it right he would have to feel this way especially being in NYC schools 3rd grade prepping for the exams he will soon be taking. So yes it frustrates me and it feels like I have a muzzle put on. I know with custody IF she will indeed fight to have sole or Doesn't agree to joint come with the child having to be represented (which is what I want) and perhaps a counselor. But until then I hate her playing with his head to get to me and that's the part I'm having trouble with. No I'm not the big bad wolf but I do protect my own and trying to do it the right way.

Discretion is the better part of valor.

I prefer my freedom to everything else I possess.

I like sleeping in my own bed, using my junk, not having some guard tell me to go to bed.

I like leaving my lights on, or turning them off when I want to do so.

I love my life.

I won't let any human being take it away form me.

There are no big bad wolves, just deluded people.