My 19-1/2 yr old daughter was engaged, but never married to the man who fathered her child. He was abusive-- emotional, psychological, economic, controlling, manipulative, etc, but rarely physical. At 32-1/2 wk pregnant, (in May) high risk pregnancy because of stress and abuse, she left him with her doctor's blessings. She did not want to bring her child into an abusive relationship. She fled to SD and got a 3 yr older of protection (he consented, so there was no judgment) She had left him in March and stayed at the Women's shelter here, but he sweet-talked her into coming back.
Now he wants joint legal and physical custody. My daughter is breast-feeding and has worked hard to get a schedule at work and college to accommodate the baby's feeding. The father is in MO, has threatened to take the baby where she would never see her again (this was before the birth), is non compliant with his medications (Prozac, Xanax and Wellbutrin), drinks and drives (tho has never been arrested), gambles. He earns about 4 times what my daughter does. He is a heavy smoker, his person and truck wreak of smoke. He has a cat that poops all over the place. His mother has a cat and dog that poop and pee all over and his grandmother is caring for her hubby with Alxheimer's and is becoming difficult to control. (I mention the mother and grandmother, because he was going to use them to babysit while my daughter worked-- she has no voice in this decision- this was before she left)
The baby is 15 wk old. He acts like the injured party, whining that he has never seen the baby, but it is really his fault. He is not listed on the birth certificate. He had her served with papers for her to pay for paternity testing, his attorney and court costs (she was on medical leave for over 4 months because of the pregnancy) She responded that if he would sign a paternity affidavit and send the cost of new copies (cashier's check or money order), agreeing to no name change, she would sign her part and file the papers through her attorney to have him added to the birth certifica. She asked further that visitation only be supervised because of the order of protection and the threat to take the baby.
After the ink was barely dry on the order of protection his attorney approached hers in the courtroom and wanted to meet at McDonald's or someplace like that so he could see the baby. The attorney replied no, he had no rights, paternity was not established.
Now he wants a face-to-face meeting in his attorney's conference room to "discuss" things outside of court and "to hammer out a child support agreement because the child cannot raise herself". My husband and I loaned her a large sum of $$ to provide for the necessities for the baby, paid off her car loan and a couple of small credit card bills and paid for her tuition and books that weren't covered by a grant. We were able to add the baby to our health insurance so she could get off medicaid. My daughter recently returned to work and has already started a savings account for the baby. She lives in a totally smoke free environment. My daughter is part of the Big Brothers and Bi sisters Mother Mentor Program, and MOPS and enrolled the baby in the Dolly Parton REading Program. She is working towads a bachelor's degree in teaching and plans to teach her daughter to read early, just like she was taught. She is active in church, attends group sessions at the Women's shelter here.
She does not want him to have joint legal or physical custody of the baby. He barely graduated from high school and doesn't agree with Christian schools( my daughter would like about the first 3 years in Christian school because of the way reading and math are taught in the early years). She waants the baby to get a really good foundation. He does not attend church and did not allow her to do so when they were together. (She left home at 18 to be with him). I should also mention that there was a previous order of protection in MO that he consented to (hers) and one that was dropped for him to consent to hers (mine). He was fired from his job because of the threats and stalking that he committed while on the clock at work-- and it is all on video tape from the store. (We did not know he was working or we wouldn't have gone into the store) Our cats are clean and they have been declawed and use litter boxes. He is filthy in personal hygiene and works very, very long hours. His brother is living with him right now, and we have a recorded phone threat that the brother made while we were travelling to South Dakota.
He is OBSESSIVE-- two weeks after they bagan dating we went on a family vacation to FL and he ran up a $347 cell phone bill on my daughter. He made over 140 contacts by phone and e-mail AFTER he was served with the temporary order this time., claiming he was concerned about the baby, but this is his history.
What are her chances of getting sole legal and physical custody, do you think? Can my daughter require/ask/suggest to the court that he complete domestic violence intervention cuonselling and parenting classes if he gets visitation?
Most of the time during the pregnancy he claimed the baby wasn't his, but now we hear that he has the baby's name tattooed on his arm-- even tho he refuses to sign a partenity affidavit until after he sees the baby.
He has not even offered one penny in support, even though he has known for 3-1/2 months that the baby was born. My daughter would like the support, but my husband and I will take care of them (as we have been since May) if she has to go it on her own. She would like for him to relinquish any and all rights to the baby, but because of his controling obsessive behaviour, we know that will never happen. Thre is 1000 miles between them and we know he will use that to milk getting child support reduced, but my daughter feels the baby should not suffer because he wastes his money on smoking, drinking and gambling.
Should we hire a private investigator to find out his lifestyle and what he is doing now?
How can she recover personal property left behind? And get his name off the car?
Now he wants joint legal and physical custody. My daughter is breast-feeding and has worked hard to get a schedule at work and college to accommodate the baby's feeding. The father is in MO, has threatened to take the baby where she would never see her again (this was before the birth), is non compliant with his medications (Prozac, Xanax and Wellbutrin), drinks and drives (tho has never been arrested), gambles. He earns about 4 times what my daughter does. He is a heavy smoker, his person and truck wreak of smoke. He has a cat that poops all over the place. His mother has a cat and dog that poop and pee all over and his grandmother is caring for her hubby with Alxheimer's and is becoming difficult to control. (I mention the mother and grandmother, because he was going to use them to babysit while my daughter worked-- she has no voice in this decision- this was before she left)
The baby is 15 wk old. He acts like the injured party, whining that he has never seen the baby, but it is really his fault. He is not listed on the birth certificate. He had her served with papers for her to pay for paternity testing, his attorney and court costs (she was on medical leave for over 4 months because of the pregnancy) She responded that if he would sign a paternity affidavit and send the cost of new copies (cashier's check or money order), agreeing to no name change, she would sign her part and file the papers through her attorney to have him added to the birth certifica. She asked further that visitation only be supervised because of the order of protection and the threat to take the baby.
After the ink was barely dry on the order of protection his attorney approached hers in the courtroom and wanted to meet at McDonald's or someplace like that so he could see the baby. The attorney replied no, he had no rights, paternity was not established.
Now he wants a face-to-face meeting in his attorney's conference room to "discuss" things outside of court and "to hammer out a child support agreement because the child cannot raise herself". My husband and I loaned her a large sum of $$ to provide for the necessities for the baby, paid off her car loan and a couple of small credit card bills and paid for her tuition and books that weren't covered by a grant. We were able to add the baby to our health insurance so she could get off medicaid. My daughter recently returned to work and has already started a savings account for the baby. She lives in a totally smoke free environment. My daughter is part of the Big Brothers and Bi sisters Mother Mentor Program, and MOPS and enrolled the baby in the Dolly Parton REading Program. She is working towads a bachelor's degree in teaching and plans to teach her daughter to read early, just like she was taught. She is active in church, attends group sessions at the Women's shelter here.
She does not want him to have joint legal or physical custody of the baby. He barely graduated from high school and doesn't agree with Christian schools( my daughter would like about the first 3 years in Christian school because of the way reading and math are taught in the early years). She waants the baby to get a really good foundation. He does not attend church and did not allow her to do so when they were together. (She left home at 18 to be with him). I should also mention that there was a previous order of protection in MO that he consented to (hers) and one that was dropped for him to consent to hers (mine). He was fired from his job because of the threats and stalking that he committed while on the clock at work-- and it is all on video tape from the store. (We did not know he was working or we wouldn't have gone into the store) Our cats are clean and they have been declawed and use litter boxes. He is filthy in personal hygiene and works very, very long hours. His brother is living with him right now, and we have a recorded phone threat that the brother made while we were travelling to South Dakota.
He is OBSESSIVE-- two weeks after they bagan dating we went on a family vacation to FL and he ran up a $347 cell phone bill on my daughter. He made over 140 contacts by phone and e-mail AFTER he was served with the temporary order this time., claiming he was concerned about the baby, but this is his history.
What are her chances of getting sole legal and physical custody, do you think? Can my daughter require/ask/suggest to the court that he complete domestic violence intervention cuonselling and parenting classes if he gets visitation?
Most of the time during the pregnancy he claimed the baby wasn't his, but now we hear that he has the baby's name tattooed on his arm-- even tho he refuses to sign a partenity affidavit until after he sees the baby.
He has not even offered one penny in support, even though he has known for 3-1/2 months that the baby was born. My daughter would like the support, but my husband and I will take care of them (as we have been since May) if she has to go it on her own. She would like for him to relinquish any and all rights to the baby, but because of his controling obsessive behaviour, we know that will never happen. Thre is 1000 miles between them and we know he will use that to milk getting child support reduced, but my daughter feels the baby should not suffer because he wastes his money on smoking, drinking and gambling.
Should we hire a private investigator to find out his lifestyle and what he is doing now?
How can she recover personal property left behind? And get his name off the car?
