Custody issues with ex-husband

[klynnchris11]

My ex and I share joint legal and physical custody. For the past 3 years our 12 year old son has been having discipline and academic problems. I have tried to address them with his father, but my attempts have been thwarted and dismissed as "common boy behavior". The last incident involved my son physically attacking me. I immediately sought counseling (son)for this. My son has only attended 3 sessions and my ex and I have joined in 2 of our own with his therapist. My ex has again showed no regard to the issues, but puts blame on me for his behavior. I was recently contacted by CPS that my ex was involved in an complaint with his step-daughter. And my son has told me that his father laid behind his step-moms vehicle to keep her from leaving during an argument. Teh therapist is aware of this as I have told her. My ex is threatening to not allow our son to continue in therapy as he doesn't approve of teh topics of discussion etc...He claims the accusations which warranted a CPS investigation were bogus, but I am still very concerned. He does have a temper. Are these claims enough for me to go and actually have a chance at changing custody? My son is again failing 3 classes. I need any advice you can offer. I do not unfortunately have access to a lot of funds. What should be my first step.

Thank you.

 

[army judge]

You can always petition the court and seek to be heard. It is up to the judge to allow a hearing or deny one. If you ask to be heard, you more than likely will be heard.

 

[KCGirl]

Yes, therapy seems appropriate. Your ex's motivation for wanting to keep your son without therapy could be used to show that he does not have the child's best interests at heart.

good for you for not acquiescing and giving in to a bully.

 

[bluemann33]

When and if you petition the courts, have the theropist write something saying this boy needs theorpy.

 

[Proserpina]

When and if you petition the courts, have the theropist write something saying this boy needs theorpy.

This likely won't work - a statement cannot be cross-examined. The therapist would have to actually be in court to testify.

OP, if this happens, expect Dad to bring his own expert witness (so to speak) to say the boy doesn't need therapy.

Part of the problem I see here is that you have joint physical custody; this implies that whatever problems your son is having cannot be solely attributed to his father. So, you should also expect your own parenting to come under close scrutiny.

Therapy aside, the only actionable issue I see is the CPS investigation of your ex regarding his step-daughter. Unfortunately (for you anyway) you will have to wait to see how the case progresses (if it's already closed it's a non-issue); you don't have enough to go back to court at this point.

Bide your time, Mom - I see nothing at this point to justify a modification in custody.

 

[KCGirl]

This likely won't work - a statement cannot be cross-examined. The therapist would have to actually be in court to testify.

OP, if this happens, expect Dad to bring his own expert witness (so to speak) to say the boy doesn't need therapy.

Part of the problem I see here is that you have joint physical custody; this implies that whatever problems your son is having cannot be solely attributed to his father. So, you should also expect your own parenting to come under close scrutiny.

Therapy aside, the only actionable issue I see is the CPS investigation of your ex regarding his step-daughter. Unfortunately (for you anyway) you will have to wait to see how the case progresses (if it's already closed it's a non-issue); you don't have enough to go back to court at this point.

Bide your time, Mom - I see nothing at this point to justify a modification in custody.

A father who would like to refuse his son access to therapy (it's hardly the father's place to deny he needs therapy since he is not a professional psychiatrist or psychologist) is not acting in the child's best interests. A 12 year old child who attacks his mother is in definite need of therapy or correction. As their son continues to grow and if his aggression goes unchecked the harm he could do to someone will increase. It needs to be addressed now not after he hurts someone. If he doesn't have the child's best interests at heart then he is failing to be the effective father he could be.

If needed, you can get direct testimony from the therapist. If a letter isn't sufficient then don't give up just get the therapist into court. If your parenting is called into question, nothing wrong with that. Hopefully the judge will find in favor of the parent who wants to give the child access to therapy, not deny it.

 

[Proserpina]

......wow.

Just...wow.

OP, please speak with a local attorney.

 

[Proserpina]

Do you really want someone to pick apart your previous post and explain why it's inaccurate? *confused*

 

[Proserpina]

A father who would like to refuse his son access to therapy (it's hardly the father's place to deny he needs therapy since he is not a professional psychiatrist or psychologist) is not acting in the child's best interests. A 12 year old child who attacks his mother is in definite need of therapy or correction. As their son continues to grow and if his aggression goes unchecked the harm he could do to someone will increase. It needs to be addressed now not after he hurts someone. If he doesn't have the child's best interests at heart then he is failing to be the effective father he could be.

If needed, you can get direct testimony from the therapist. If a letter isn't sufficient then don't give up just get the therapist into court. If your parenting is called into question, nothing wrong with that. Hopefully the judge will find in favor of the parent who wants to give the child access to therapy, not deny it.

I'm quoting just in case KCGirl wants to delete the post.