chelle_1013

[chelle1013]

I am wanting to know that if my daughter's dad is behind in his child support and has not paid anything for almost 3 years and was in rears before that can I legally keep her from him? Now he isn't protesting anything but I am remarried and the fact that her dad doesn't pay anything but I was still letting her see her dad has caused problems with my me and my husband. I have realized that he is not paying so he shouldn't being getting to see her but can I keep her from him completely??

 

[irish223]

I am wanting to know that if my daughter's dad is behind in his child support and has not paid anything for almost 3 years and was in rears before that can I legally keep her from him? Now he isn't protesting anything but I am remarried and the fact that her dad doesn't pay anything but I was still letting her see her dad has caused problems with my me and my husband. I have realized that he is not paying so he shouldn't being getting to see her but can I keep her from him completely??

Visitation and child support are completely separate issues. You must follow the court order or you can be found in contempt. You can file for contempt of the child support, but you are still required to facilitate visitation.

Why would this cause problems between you and your current husband? This is an issue between you and the father ONLY.

 

[BayState]

I am wanting to know that if my daughter's dad is behind in his child support and has not paid anything for almost 3 years and was in rears before that can I legally keep her from him? Now he isn't protesting anything but I am remarried and the fact that her dad doesn't pay anything but I was still letting her see her dad has caused problems with my me and my husband. I have realized that he is not paying so he shouldn't being getting to see her but can I keep her from him completely??

No you can't deny visitation because Dad isn't paying according to the court order...There IS a court ORDER right?? If there is an order you can file a motion to show cause for failure to comply with the support order. If you deny visitation you can be held in contempt. If you hubby is interfering with the child and Father relationship (and per your post he is) a RO can be issued to prevent this. If he continues and you allow it, a change of custody can be ordered. It is your LEGAL OBLIGATION, as the custodial parent, to facilitate a relationship between the child and NCP. If you allow your husband to interfere YOU WILL LOSE CUSTODY.

Personally if my husband were to cause this kind of problem for my child I would kick his jerk self to the curb. Your daughters happiness should come before ANYONE.

 

[aeast0108]

By law, no you cannot stop visitation. My husband actually dealt with this same thing with his exwife. He has custody and she has never paid a dime. It is hard for him to be the only parent contributing anything and still have to give her whatever she wants. Even if there is an order and you file contempt the system is backed up and it takes time. It is very frustrating but it is for yours and your daughter's best interests to abide by the laws. I would not call your husband a jerk, or kick him to the curb though because the stress of a second divorce is not exactly a good thing for your daughter either..... No one understands the frustrations of a step parent until they have been one. You need to just let your hubby know that legally he cannot ask you to do this and fighting with you about it does not make the situation better or go away.

 

[Duranie]

So you want to use the child as a pawn because he is not paying support? No you cannot and you can be held in contempt. If Dad is not paying court ordered suppor then you file contempt. Your thought process on this is completely wrong as it is NOT in the childs best interest to not see their father just because he is not paying CS.

 

[BayState]

I would not call your husband a jerk, or kick him to the curb though because the stress of a second divorce is not exactly a good thing for your daughter either..... No one understands the frustrations of a step parent until they have been one

I'm sorry...But any person that would actually "cause problems" for his wife because she isn't preventing her child from seeing her father over money is a freaking jerk. How would denying this child from seeing her parent in the child's interest??

And Step's make a decision when they marry a person with children to potentially have to deal with these issues. They have ZERO rights to complain about it after the fact. And they certainly have no right to "fight" with a custodial parent because they are NOT preventing the child from having a relationship with NCP.

 

[chelle1013]

Thanks for all the response. Well I was pretty sure that I couldn't deny him visitation but he doesn't want it and is currently on house arrest or was and haven't heard from him for about 3 years now. I am NOT going to kick my husband to the curb either. He was just raised and believes very strongly that if you have a kid you pay for your responsibility. It is really hard for me cuz well my husband is a great dad to her and then their is her dad that doesn't pay a dime and has a felony of rape on him and his parole was revoked because of failing a lie detector test(or that is what I was told) and was sent back to Texas where he did his prison time and so I really don't know what is going on. I have bent over backwards in the past to let him see her every weekend and then made it every other weekend and then well it got to be less. I do have a child support order but no visitation set up. We never married and he didn't sign the birth certificate but waived the paternity test cuz he knew she was his. It is a messed up deal but I also think he needs to help out some and unless he wants to help out some even 50 a month until he can pay more is better than nothing, I'm not going to bend over backwards so that he can see her anymore. Plus my husband wants to adopt her and her dad has agreed he would sign the papers but we haven't been able to afford to do it. She is in fact in Texas with her Aunt her dad's sister on their family vacation so I'm not like saying no one can see her just maybe if every parent that owed child support had to make an effort at supporting their responsibility to be able to see their kid then maybe there wouldn't be so many kids without parents or money.

 

[Duranie]

Or maybe people should be a little more selective on who they have kids with? The pendulum swings both ways. Your husband does not have any business telling you to block visits. He signed up for this when he married someone with a kid. If you can get this guy to terminate rights that is fine. Funny how you did not mention the rape or anything else in your first post. If he was in fact convicted of a violent crime, why do you give him visits if paternity was not established? If there is no court ordered visitation order then you do not have to allow visits. If he is a sex offender then I would have had your husband adopt a long time ago. How do you have a child support order with paternity not being established?

 

[irish223]

he didn't sign the birth certificate but waived the paternity test cuz he knew she was his.

He waived the test, thereby acknowledging paternity.

 

[chelle1013]

Correct on the paternity test, he waived it so he was stating that she was his!!!!!....
ok well I didn't get on here to get judged. I made mistakes but I'm just trying to do what is best for my daughter. Realizing that before I met my husband I was only trying to let my daughter have a father but not thinking on the whole picture. I should have just not told him I was pregnant and moved on and well if those of you who like to sit and judge well guess what I'm sure you have things in your past that could be judged; If someone asked for advice, I wouldn't judge just give the best advice I could. The reason I didn't mention the felony is because I wasn't thinking of the charge. I guess next time instead of trying to get free advice I'll pay the $150/hr or whatever it costs so that I won't get judged but get some advice so I know exactly what I can do and can't do.....thanks for nothing on the rude judgemental comments on those that did and thanks for the advice that was just good advice w/o the judging....:dunno: