Can My Ex Cut Off My Support When I Can't Work?

[amypolnoff]

In California, my ex made our divorce very ugly. After I received custody of three of my five children (2 were out of control and I requested they live with him), he kept serving me with OSC's causing me to constantly go to court. He also kept picking the kids up from school and making me insane with worry and get into a battle of wills in order for me to get the kids back. I finally let him have physical custody of all the kids and he provide support for me and the kids for when they came to see me. I am Bi-polar and there are many reasons due to this that I can not work. My ex started sending me some vulgar emails (long story including my two 15 year old boys going through my dresser drawers and finding personal things that became a joke at his house with his new wife being involved as well). He was reading these emails to my three 15 year olds, 14 year old and an 11 year old. I finally got fed up and filed for custody of the children again because he has shown he is not a responsible and sensible parent. He has filed to keep custody and stop my support and force me to go to work and make me pay him support. Two of my children have taken sides and refuse to see me and three will still visit me. My disability has not yet been determined by the SSI and my SDI is going to expire the day after we are scheduled to go to court. If I can't make enough to live and the judge determines against me, what will happen? Do I stand a chance getting my children back, keeping my support payments, or at least keeping my disability from being levied based on his behavior? If I end up having to pay support, will I be required to pay support for the two children who have decided they do not want to see me? We have been in court so many times, the judge has set it for trial. How can I get his income records subpoenaed from his employer and subpoena witnesses? I know this is a lot of questions, but I can not afford an attorney and I am afraid I am going to loose on all counts.

 

[unluckySOB]

Not my place to judge, but what would be wrong with just getting a job and not relying on SSI? Sounds like you should be okay if you have 3 kids and he only has 2 of them, but what do i know.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

I finally let him have physical custody of all the kids and he provide support for me and the kids for when they came to see me. I am Bi-polar and there are many reasons due to this that I can not work.... Two of my children have taken sides and refuse to see me and three will still visit me. My disability has not yet been determined by the SSI and my SDI is going to expire the day after we are scheduled to go to court. If I can't make enough to live and the judge determines against me, what will happen?

I don't want to sound like a jerk... but given all the problems you DO have that you do admit... is there a problem with your ex having custody of some of your children and that you get visitation rights?

I know that there will be many people here not so thrilled with the fact that you've got five children, cannot work (I'm not sure what this means) and are expecting someone to pay for the cost of 3 and up to 5 children. Someone is working and paying for those children - are you expecting your ex-husband to work and pay for all of his children and to get free assistance from the government?

Again, not being a jerk, but you do understand that there probably will not be very many sympathetic people and especially not a judge. A friend of mine is bi-polar and he works, thus I ask the question.

 

[Duranie]

Sorry to say but you are fueling this ugly custoy battle too and it seems neither you, or dad are even concerned about the kids here. You need to get some sort of income. If you are bi-polar there are meds you can take to control it, it does not mean you cannot work. Expecting him to pay and support you when you have no income is not realistic. How in the world do you expect custody of any of the kids if you cannot support them? If dad does get custody, you will be expected to pay him support if he files.

 

[Fugitive]

Are you saying that it is possible to challenge the custodial parent's ability to financially support the child? Or does said parent need to seek financial support from the non-custodial parent in order for this to be an issue?

Thanks.