Big Mistake, Need Advice

[Kayaiden8907]

I have got myself into a really complicated situation and have no idea how to fix things. I signed over custody of my son to my grand mother 8-10-2010. At the time I was having financial problems, I lost my job and was fixing to lose my house. I had no where to go and I was worried about my son. My grand mother was keeping my son at the time because I was in the hospital a lot. She started requesting that I sign over custody of my son to her. I told her I didn't want to but I was scared about our living situation and I wanted him to have a safe place to stay. Within a week my grand mother got an expensive lawyer served court papers. I didn't have a computer at the time and had no idea how anything like this worked and no money for a lawyer. I do not have a criminal back ground, and child services were never involved, and I was never proven an unfit mother. I ended up signing custody over to her because she said she would give my son back after I was more financially stable and she said I could visit him anytime. A few days after my car caught on fire leaving me with no transportation. I would call and ask her to pick me up so I could see my son but she would always come up with excuses. I recently found out I am pregnant again and found a safe place to stay. I found ways to visit my son but every time he would cry when I had to leave and say he wanted to stay with me not her. My grand mother refused to let me keep him even for a few hours. I started getting upset because I do not feel that it is the best interest for my son to stay some where he doesn't want to be so me and my grand mother started arguing and she stopped letting me see him. Finally my grand mother let me see him at my mothers house but when I had to leave my son started screaming and now my mom says I can't come see him there because she doesn't like seeing him upset. I plan on keeping this baby and me and the father have plans to get married. I want custody back of my son so that I can have my family and so he wont feel left out later in life. I realize it was a huge mistake for me to sign over custody and I feel heart broken. My family is mad at me for getting pregnant again so I feel like that's a reason why my grand mother wont let me see my son and no longer promises to give him back. My grandmother also says she paid the money to get him so now shes keeping him. That doesn't seem right to me. I don't have the money for a lawyer right now and I don't know how long it will take me to get the money. I'm scared that in that time my son won't want to stay with me anymore and I don't want him to think I forgot about him. I love my son more than anything and I don't know what to do at this point.

 

[army judge]

I have got myself into a really complicated situation and have no idea how to fix things. I signed over custody of my son to my grand mother 8-10-2010. At the time I was having financial problems, I lost my job and was fixing to lose my house. I had no where to go and I was worried about my son. My grand mother was keeping my son at the time because I was in the hospital a lot. She started requesting that I sign over custody of my son to her. I told her I didn't want to but I was scared about our living situation and I wanted him to have a safe place to stay. Within a week my grand mother got an expensive lawyer served court papers. I didn't have a computer at the time and had no idea how anything like this worked and no money for a lawyer. I do not have a criminal back ground, and child services were never involved, and I was never proven an unfit mother. I ended up signing custody over to her because she said she would give my son back after I was more financially stable and she said I could visit him anytime. A few days after my car caught on fire leaving me with no transportation. I would call and ask her to pick me up so I could see my son but she would always come up with excuses. I recently found out I am pregnant again and found a safe place to stay. I found ways to visit my son but every time he would cry when I had to leave and say he wanted to stay with me not her. My grand mother refused to let me keep him even for a few hours. I started getting upset because I do not feel that it is the best interest for my son to stay some where he doesn't want to be so me and my grand mother started arguing and she stopped letting me see him. Finally my grand mother let me see him at my mothers house but when I had to leave my son started screaming and now my mom says I can't come see him there because she doesn't like seeing him upset. I plan on keeping this baby and me and the father have plans to get married. I want custody back of my son so that I can have my family and so he wont feel left out later in life. I realize it was a huge mistake for me to sign over custody and I feel heart broken. My family is mad at me for getting pregnant again so I feel like that's a reason why my grand mother wont let me see my son and no longer promises to give him back. My grandmother also says she paid the money to get him so now shes keeping him. That doesn't seem right to me. I don't have the money for a lawyer right now and I don't know how long it will take me to get the money. I'm scared that in that time my son won't want to stay with me anymore and I don't want him to think I forgot about him. I love my son more than anything and I don't know what to do at this point.

What was the nature of your hospital admission?

How long were you hospitalized?

How many times?

What is your state of residence?

Where is the boy's father?

What were the parental rights of the boy's father?


You say you "signed" over custody of your son to your grandmother.

Is that temporary custody, or permanent custody?

Did your grandmother adopt the boy?

What exactly did you sign?

What does it say?

Normally, it isn't as easy as you make it sound to relieve oneself of their offspring.

 

[Kayaiden8907]

I was hospitalized for Kidney Infections twice for a couple days each time.
I live in North Carolina.
My sons father and I were never married and He also signed over his custody and he doesn't visit with my son.
The papers state that she has sole custody, at the time I had no clue what that was. She did not adopt him.
The paper says that she has sole custody and that both parents are encouraged to have a strong and loving relationship with him and that the parents get visitation as agreed by the parties. It also says the parents should be informed of over all health of the child. My son was sick last week and I wasn't informed until I spoke with my Mother and she told me. The last time I visited my son his teeth looked like they weren't being taken care of and I asked my son if Nanny had been brushing his teeth and He said no. My mother told me that my grand mother told her that she wasn't brushing his teeth because he wouldn't let her. That's not true my son always let me brush his teeth when he lived with me.
When I signed over my custody we met at the lawyers office and I had to sign papers and then we went to the court house.

 

[army judge]

I was hospitalized for Kidney Infections twice for a couple days each time.
I live in North Carolina.
My sons father and I were never married and He also signed over his custody and he doesn't visit with my son.
The papers state that she has sole custody, at the time I had no clue what that was. She did not adopt him.
The paper says that she has sole custody and that both parents are encouraged to have a strong and loving relationship with him and that the parents get visitation as agreed by the parties. It also says the parents should be informed of over all health of the child. My son was sick last week and I wasn't informed until I spoke with my Mother and she told me. The last time I visited my son his teeth looked like they weren't being taken care of and I asked my son if Nanny had been brushing his teeth and He said no. My mother told me that my grand mother told her that she wasn't brushing his teeth because he wouldn't let her. That's not true my son always let me brush his teeth when he lived with me.
When I signed over my custody we met at the lawyers office and I had to sign papers and then we went to the court house.

Wow, I'm never ceased to be amazed at the level of depravity family members and friends will stoop to harm the ones they love.

Okay, let's try and get you through this.

Did dad sign his rights away to you, previously?

Or, did he do this pursuant to the latest act of evil by granny?

You're not going to like this answer, but you need a lawyer.

I won't beat you up over this.

You're hurting, and you have to stay strong and healthy for your new baby.

You should look for a legal aid clinic or law school that is nearby.

They might help you.

If not, you're gonna need to hire a lawyer.

It will take time to fix this, if things are as you say.

But, you gotta start somewhere.

You can't undo this alone.

Well, you can try, but it will be very hard.

It can be done.

I suggest you have your mom speak with granny. The easiest way to overcome hard things is often through a person's heart. Try getting mom on your side. You can work both angles, but if granny believes you will treat the boy right and your life is in order, that's so much the better for you.

God bless!!!

 

[Kayaiden8907]

His father signed his rights over when I did. He said he thought it was the right thing for us to do because he was worried about where my son would live even though he had a house that my son could have stayed at he just didn't want the responsibility. After my son was born His father didn't see him for over a year and I kept trying to create a relationship between them. Before I signed over custody my son was seeing his father once a week and I felt that i was starting to make progress. After we signed the papers his father quit visiting him. I spoke with a lawyer and he said I couldn't try to get custody back until February. That's a long time to go without getting to see my son. My family has problems with my Fiancee and they keep saying if I really cared about my son then I wouldn't have this baby and break up with him. I can't do that because this baby also is mine and I'm going to love it just like I do my son. I don't have a strong relationship with my Mother right now. I can tell she wants me to get my son back but she won't say anything to my Grand Mother in my defense because they both don't like my Fiancee. Basically if I had an abortion and left my Fiancee then my family would help me towards getting my son back. I don't want to do that. I want to get my son back, have this baby, get married and try my hardest to make sure both my kids have good lives and are taken care of.

 

[army judge]

Good luck. February isn't forever. It is what you've made it, isn't it?

I'd take care of the baby in my belly. I'd also be planning for February and reuniting with my son.

 

[momofmany]

im not sure why they told u feburary but id bewere of that thats 6mos as im sure u know however in the situation im dealing with the 6 mos and 1 day are the time limits for attempting to adopt a child. That said make sure someone has ur contact info they have to serve u if they try this and they will serve ur last known address, if they have it and u can prove they know it and they send them to the wrong location it will help u prove they are going behind ur back. this is a big deal since u only have 30 days to file an answer after u r served. my bet is they are counting on ur lack of knolage and cash flow. This is in there favor dont wait till then act now and ever day till then. You could also involve child protective services in ur area if u have a stable and sutible place for him they could possible work in ur favor. But if u dont they can hurt u and ur child more so consider this as an option carefully before desiding. good luck.

 

[Proserpina]

im not sure why they told u feburary but id bewere of that thats 6mos as im sure u know however in the situation im dealing with the 6 mos and 1 day are the time limits for attempting to adopt a child. That said make sure someone has ur contact info they have to serve u if they try this and they will serve ur last known address, if they have it and u can prove they know it and they send them to the wrong location it will help u prove they are going behind ur back. this is a big deal since u only have 30 days to file an answer after u r served. my bet is they are counting on ur lack of knolage and cash flow. This is in there favor dont wait till then act now and ever day till then. You could also involve child protective services in ur area if u have a stable and sutible place for him they could possible work in ur favor. But if u dont they can hurt u and ur child more so consider this as an option carefully before desiding. good luck.

You need to stop posting. You very clearly have NO idea how family law works.

 

[momofmany]

You need to stop posting. You very clearly have NO idea how family law works.

so what part is wrong That 6 mos and a day does not establish jurisdiction Alowing the person to file what ever they might be planing?

Or that people are sneeky and will serve the wrong address to keep someone from being notified, or that if you can prove they knew where you were and did this deliberatly that you can use it to get desisions reversed or at least re looked at. or that people like this count on the fact that you cant protect your self aginct them due to your lack of money or resources.

Or am I wrong in sugesting that if she has a stable place that CPS could in this case work in her favor at no cost to her, but can also end up being her worce nightmare if she isnt stable and could do more harm then good.

or am i wrong for telling her not to wait and to make calls and seek help every day untill then. What of this is wrong please tell me so I can be informed. I never said I was a lawyer its only my oppinion of the facts as I know them and what I know from dealing with the court.
Or do you just hate that I'm a new poster and can have empathy for someone and not belittle them. Are you a lawyer a judge a paralegal? where did you get your knolage?

 

[irish223]

so what part is wrong That 6 mos and a day does not establish jurisdiction Alowing the person to file what ever they might be planing?

First of all, who in the original post needs to establish residency?? Second, your other post MORE than implied that the grandmother only has to wait 6 months before she can adopt. Both are incorrect.

Or that people are sneeky and will serve the wrong address to keep someone from being notified, or that if you can prove they knew where you were and did this deliberatly that you can use it to get desisions reversed or at least re looked at. or that people like this count on the fact that you cant protect your self aginct them due to your lack of money or resources.

Yeah, that can happen, but nothing in the thread suggests that the grandmother is even planning to adopt.

Or am I wrong in sugesting that if she has a stable place that CPS could in this case work in her favor at no cost to her, but can also end up being her worce nightmare if she isnt stable and could do more harm then good.

How do you suggest she get CPS involved in a custody dispute?

or am i wrong for telling her not to wait and to make calls and seek help every day untill then. What of this is wrong please tell me so I can be informed.

Nothing wrong with that advice. You should have left it at that.

I never said I was a lawyer its only my oppinion of the facts as I know them and what I know from dealing with the court.
Or do you just hate that I'm a new poster and can have empathy for someone and not belittle them. Are you a lawyer a judge a paralegal? where did you get your knolage?

I can assure you that you are not hated. However, you are a new poster and you are posting incorrect information as though it's legally correct. That's a problem. As for the empathy and belittling, just where did you find any belittling in this thread? Empathy? Do you understand what that means? I didn't detect much empathy in your post. That, in itself, is not a bad thing though. This is a board for legal advice. While posters probably appreciate some empathy, most of them come here for legal advice and a path to follow.