Best approach with 50/50 custody

[Miller M2]

Jurisdiction

Arizona

Hello everyone, well I have now recently moved to the state of Arizona (from California). Reason why is to be closer to my kids: After 4.5 years of me and still my wife legally (but separated) we both came into an agreement that starting the new year we will share 50/50 custody of the kids and also she will start the divorce process. Now since we don't have nothing materialistic to fight for? (Cars, belongings etc,) we just trying amicably to do this divorce and share the custody of our Two kids. But what I'm uncomfortable with is that she says one thing and then her feelings get in her way and starts acting crazy and says another thing and I don't trust her words at all. What can I do for me to be 100% sure the custody is implemented and of course she won't try to do me wrong at the end of the year when is time to do taxes. She files her taxes as single mother with kids as dependents currently and myself I do my taxes as single with no dependents. But now things are about to change, if the 50/50 custody takes place and me claiming one of the kids will have to reflect that next tax season (2024).Currently before moving to this state of Arizona I was giving her child support $$ every last week of each month. But now that I'm here being in my kids life daily : taking them to school, they sleeping over at my residence, etc. Should I keep giving her money as I was doing b4 ?As of right now is been a week since I moved so I'm not fully settled that's why by start of the year is when we decided to start fully the 50/50 officially. But again in the past week I have been very active with the kids and of course that costs money. And I am not trying to be cheap here lol I just don't want to give her more money or the same amount of money I normally give her monthly if I'm providing this support here now. And lastly on my end I don't mind hiring an attorney but we trying to go trhu this directly with t he court and without an attorney.. any thoughts?

 

[zddoodah]

What can I do for me to be 100% sure the custody is implemented and of course she won't try to do me wrong at the end of the year when is time to do taxes.

Not really sure what this question means, but the best thing you can do is retain the services of a good divorce attorney to make sure your interests are protected.

Should I keep giving her money as I was doing b4 ?

No one here has sufficient information to answer this question intelligently. One would need to know your gross and net incomes, your wife's gross and net incomes, and lots of other financial details (along with how many kids you have and how old they are).

 

[adjusterjack]

we just trying amicably to do this divorce

There is no such thing as an amicable divorce.

But what I'm uncomfortable with is that she says one thing and then her feelings get in her way and starts acting crazy and says another thing and I don't trust her words at all.

I wonder what she'd say about you.

What can I do for me to be 100% sure the custody is implemented

Your agreement will be memorialized in an enforceable decree which is a court order.

me claiming one of the kids will have to reflect that next tax season (2024)

Seems to me you have no "amicable" agreement if you haven't addressed that issue. She's the one to talk to about that.

before moving to this state of Arizona I was giving her child support $$ every last week of each month. But now that I'm here being in my kids life daily : taking them to school, they sleeping over at my residence, etc. Should I keep giving her money as I was doing b4 ?

There it is again. No "amicable" agreement yet. Ask her what she wants to do about child support. Meantime, google Arizona child support calculator and plug in the figures to find out what a court is likely to award. 50/50 custody means little or nothing with the child support calculations.

we trying to go trhu this directly with t he court and without an attorney.. any thoughts?

Yes, you're very naive.

Ask her about a child support reduction and you taking one of the kids on your taxes.

Come back and report the results.

 

[leslie82]

Hello everyone, well I have now recently moved to the state of Arizona (from California). Reason why is to be closer to my kids: After 4.5 years of me and still my wife legally (but separated) we both came into an agreement that starting the new year we will share 50/50 custody of the kids and also she will start the divorce process. Now since we don't have nothing materialistic to fight for? (Cars, belongings etc,) we just trying amicably to do this divorce and share the custody of our Two kids. But what I'm uncomfortable with is that she says one thing and then her feelings get in her way and starts acting crazy and says another thing and I don't trust her words at all. What can I do for me to be 100% sure the custody is implemented and of course she won't try to do me wrong at the end of the year when is time to do taxes. She files her taxes as single mother with kids as dependents currently and myself I do my taxes as single with no dependents. But now things are about to change, if the 50/50 custody takes place and me claiming one of the kids will have to reflect that next tax season (2024).Currently before moving to this state of Arizona I was giving her child support $$ every last week of each month. But now that I'm here being in my kids life daily : taking them to school, they sleeping over at my residence, etc. Should I keep giving her money as I was doing b4 ?As of right now is been a week since I moved so I'm not fully settled that's why by start of the year is when we decided to start fully the 50/50 officially. But again in the past week I have been very active with the kids and of course that costs money. And I am not trying to be cheap here lol I just don't want to give her more money or the same amount of money I normally give her monthly if I'm providing this support here now. And lastly on my end I don't mind hiring an attorney but we trying to go trhu this directly with t he court and without an attorney.. any thoughts?

Why don't you file for divorce first? How do you file single if you're still married legally? I mean when I was married I filed married but separate so they wouldn't take my tax refund to pay his child support and I would have to wait six months to fight and get it back...Idk I guess I'm no tax expert.

When it comes to 50/50 there can still be someone who pays child support. I found this: AZLawHelp.org - Questions - Child Support

Child support would get figured out in court though.

You should probably find a family law attorney in your area - look for those who do free consultations. At least a free consultation you can get some legal advice.

 

[Miller M2]

Hello everyone, well I am replying to my own topic. I have somewhat of an update. I have moved to the state of Arizona coming from California, now it has been 5 months since then. During all these months i have found myself a job and a studio to live in by myself. At the same time I go visit my kids once or twice a week go out and spend the entire day with them and bring them to my place for just a sleep over and returned them to their mother at her house. Now I know on this post I mentioned that I'm looking to get 50/50 custody of our two kids (12 and 8) and get divorced once l moved to Arizona.. Now after living in this state for 5 months now my job is a salary job and my schedule varies trhu out the week and every week. This makes things hard for me to get 50/50 custody. Now moving forward, the mother of our children "according to her" has started the divorced process… with that been said she has giving me/handed to me some documents called "Legal Parenting Plan" she got those documents from the help of a paralegal (actually is a tax professional according to the business card) and the paralegal is helping her filling those documents. So she gave me those documents while picking up my kids this past Thursday. And the documents are for 50/50 custody, legal parenting plan agreement ..And I don't agree with the parenting plan so far. Now she is rushing me to sign it so she can take it back to the paralegal and then be taken to the court for processing..And I told her I need to speak to an attorney because I have questions. then she just went crazy over talking over the phone and she said that if I don't agree with it she then will
Give me full custody of the kids then she hanged up the phone… "during that phone call she mentioned that she was tired of taking care of the kids all this time, but she wasn't telling me all that when I was in California, and now i come to learn that she is unemployed at this particular moment (for a month now)that she doesn't know when she will get back to work (she works for as an electrician in an union and when she started back in December she was told her job might be temporary and now here she is waiting for that phone call to get back to work)… I moved here for my kids and yes to get divorced and I was waiting for this moment with her to serv me the divorced papers. All I have received is The parenting plan and is not dated so I told her on the phone call that I will consult with an attorney in regards of this and I will respond accordingly… she sounded irritated but again I I just don't want to agree something I am being rushed on. I asked her about when I'm getting served with the divorced papers and she said that first we have to do the parenting plan agreement… and that made me go huh?? So yes I will go consult with an attorney this week but I can't do it as per her request have them signed by Monday. Lol.

*And by the way I live (18miles) 25-30 mins away from where my kids live and also from their current school. And on the parenting plan she wants me to always pick them up and drop them off when is time for me to spend time with them.

Any input on this guys?

 

[army judge]

Any input on this guys?

I suggest you DISCUSS ALL of your concerns with the attorneys you'll be interviewing over the next week to 10 days.

Once you've selected an attorney, he or she will guide you.

Your soon to be former spouse appears to be a bushwhacker.

If you're smart, you'll cease all communications with her or her paralegal. If communications are required, allow your attorney to handle it.

If you aren't careful, you'll end up looking like a woolly sheep AFTER it's been sheared/fleeced.

 

[adjusterjack]

Any input on this guys?

Yeah, you're still naive. Don't sign anything, get to a lawyer, and file for divorce.

I don't know what you think 50/50 custody means but if you are seeing your kids several times a week with frequent overnights at your place, that's probably the best arrangement you can hope for and you'll still pay child support.

If she's really tired of taking care of the kids, tell her to pack them up and you'll take them to your place.

I said it before and I'll say it again, there is no such thing as an amicable divorce and you certainly aren't having one.

Are you in Phoenix? If not, then where in AZ?

 

[leslie82]

Hello everyone, well I am replying to my own topic. I have somewhat of an update. I have moved to the state of Arizona coming from California, now it has been 5 months since then. During all these months i have found myself a job and a studio to live in by myself. At the same time I go visit my kids once or twice a week go out and spend the entire day with them and bring them to my place for just a sleep over and returned them to their mother at her house. Now I know on this post I mentioned that I'm looking to get 50/50 custody of our two kids (12 and 8) and get divorced once l moved to Arizona.. Now after living in this state for 5 months now my job is a salary job and my schedule varies trhu out the week and every week. This makes things hard for me to get 50/50 custody. Now moving forward, the mother of our children "according to her" has started the divorced process… with that been said she has giving me/handed to me some documents called "Legal Parenting Plan" she got those documents from the help of a paralegal (actually is a tax professional according to the business card) and the paralegal is helping her filling those documents. So she gave me those documents while picking up my kids this past Thursday. And the documents are for 50/50 custody, legal parenting plan agreement ..And I don't agree with the parenting plan so far. Now she is rushing me to sign it so she can take it back to the paralegal and then be taken to the court for processing..And I told her I need to speak to an attorney because I have questions. then she just went crazy over talking over the phone and she said that if I don't agree with it she then will
Give me full custody of the kids then she hanged up the phone… "during that phone call she mentioned that she was tired of taking care of the kids all this time, but she wasn't telling me all that when I was in California, and now i come to learn that she is unemployed at this particular moment (for a month now)that she doesn't know when she will get back to work (she works for as an electrician in an union and when she started back in December she was told her job might be temporary and now here she is waiting for that phone call to get back to work)… I moved here for my kids and yes to get divorced and I was waiting for this moment with her to serv me the divorced papers. All I have received is The parenting plan and is not dated so I told her on the phone call that I will consult with an attorney in regards of this and I will respond accordingly… she sounded irritated but again I I just don't want to agree something I am being rushed on. I asked her about when I'm getting served with the divorced papers and she said that first we have to do the parenting plan agreement… and that made me go huh?? So yes I will go consult with an attorney this week but I can't do it as per her request have them signed by Monday. Lol.

*And by the way I live (18miles) 25-30 mins away from where my kids live and also from their current school. And on the parenting plan she wants me to always pick them up and drop them off when is time for me to spend time with them.

Any input on this guys?

Um...go find a lawyer like you told her you would? Look for some that do free consultations.

 

[stealthy1]

I was waiting for this moment with her to serv me the divorced papers.

Why not just file yourself?