paternity testing

[joenoesmo]

Jurisdiction

Texas

Would this forum recommend obtaining an attorney before proceeding with asking for blood tests from my daughters to determine genetic matches? Also, thoughts on doing this in a discrete manner, or should the mother know what my intentions are with genetic testing? I believe when my daughters were born I am on the birth certificate, but it has been awhile since I have viewed the original certificate.

 

[Red Kayak]

Where you and their mother ever married?
What sort of relationship do you have with the girls and their mom?

What is your goal?

 

[Tax Counsel]

What is your goal? Are you paying child support and want that support obligation terminated? Is the mother pursuing a paternity case and child support? Is there any court order mandating you do anything with regard to the kids? Do you want to cut off the possibility they will pursue a claim on your estate after you die? Do you want to pursue your own case to establish paternity and seek visitation and other rights with respect to the kids (bearing in mind that course of action will likely also result in a child support obligation? If it's any one of those things, then yes, see an attorney first. There are specific requirements for a genetic test result to be admissible in court. It will be pointless and a waste of your money to get a test done that may not meet those standards. Also, see the attorney ASAP as there are time limits for these kinds of legal actions.

If, on the other hand, you are simply curious about it, then don't bother getting a paternity test done on the sly. Bear in mind that doing that might constitute a crime if it turns out you are not the father. Why? Because if you aren't the father you don't have the right to subject the kids to medical tests, especially tests that are done without any medical purpose.

 

[Zigner]

If you are on the birth certificate, and if there have been no court proceedings to establish paternity, then you were either married to the mother when the child was born (I doubt it), had some sort of court proceedings to establish paternity (you would remember that) or you signed a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity at some point.

How old is the child?

 

[zddoodah]

You might want to provide some background.

You refer to the children as your daughters but also seem uncertain if that's the case. Why is that?

Are you now or were you ever married to the children's mother? If so, please provide the date of the marriage, the date of separation/divorce (if applicable), and the dates of the children's birth.

You referred to "daughters" (plural) but to a "birth certificate"/"original certificate" (singular). Why is that?

Unless the children are adults, how do you expect to legally obtain genetic material without informing the mother?

What is your goal? To prove or disprove paternity?

 

[joenoesmo]

I am married to the mother of my two daughters (and still legally married, but wife and I have been living separately in two states for over 5 years now). I did receive birth certificates from the states dept of vital statistics, and I am listed as the Father on both certificates. However, I am still considering a DNA test to prove or disprove biological ties to the children. I have spoken with a health counselor, and am scheduled to follow up with the counselor after the blood work results are back from the lab.

I have thoughts on consulting a family attorney with paternity and DNA testing, but should I approach an attorney in the state the kids are domiciled or the state I live in? Does location even matter?

Thanks.

 

[justblue]

I am married to the mother of my two daughters (and still legally married, but wife and I have been living separately in two states for over 5 years now). I did receive birth certificates from the states dept of vital statistics, and I am listed as the Father on both certificates. However, I am still considering a DNA test to prove or disprove biological ties to the children. I have spoken with a health counselor, and am scheduled to follow up with the counselor after the blood work results are back from the lab.

I have thoughts on consulting a family attorney with paternity and DNA testing, but should I approach an attorney in the state the kids are domiciled or the state I live in? Does location even matter?

Thanks.

How old are the children? Do you have a relationship and see them often? It is unlikely you would be able to disestablish paternity if that is your end goal.
Why is it that you or your wife hasn't filed for divorce?

 

[Red Kayak]

I am married to the mother of my two daughters (and still legally married, but wife and I have been living separately in two states for over 5 years now). I did receive birth certificates from the states dept of vital statistics, and I am listed as the Father on both certificates. However, I am still considering a DNA test to prove or disprove biological ties to the children. I have spoken with a health counselor, and am scheduled to follow up with the counselor after the blood work results are back from the lab.

I have thoughts on consulting a family attorney with paternity and DNA testing, but should I approach an attorney in the state the kids are domiciled or the state I live in? Does location even matter?

Thanks.

Legally, you are the father, because the children were conceived/born during the marriage

At this point it is unlikely that a paternity test would be useful in disestablishing paternity unless there is another man stepping in/up as the father.

If you are seeking proof of adultery, this is not a good way to do this.

Are your daughters minors or adults?

Consulting a family attorney in your state sounds like a good idea. There's a lot of questions you haven't answered explicitly, so us anonymous internet people are just guessing.

 

[stealthy1]

I have thoughts on consulting a family attorney with paternity and DNA testing, but should I approach an attorney in the state the kids are domiciled or the state I live in? Does location even matter?

Any custody issues would most likely take place where the children live.

 

[zddoodah]

I am married to the mother of my two daughters (and still legally married, but wife and I have been living separately in two states for over 5 years now).

First of all, if you want the most helpful responses, please answer the questions you were asked previously. Here they are, along with a few more:

1. Why are you uncertain about paternity?

2. You tagged your post as relating to Texas. Is that where you live? If so, where do your wife and daughters live? If they live in Texas, where do you live?

3. When did you get married (month and year)?

4. When did you separate (month and year)?

5. When were the children born (months and years)?

6. In what state(s) were the children born?

7. Do you have regular visitation with your children? If not, how do you expect to obtain genetic material?

8. Why have you allowed a separation to persist for five years without filing for divorce?

I have thoughts on consulting a family attorney with paternity and DNA testing, but should I approach an attorney in the state the kids are domiciled or the state I live in? Does location even matter?

Yes, it matters. However, the extent to which it matters depends on the relevant facts. When you come to a forum like this and ask for information and someone responds by asking you questions about the facts, you should answer those questions because they're important.

 

[joenoesmo]

First of all, if you want the most helpful responses, please answer the questions you were asked previously. Here they are, along with a few more:

1. Why are you uncertain about paternity? I am looking for paternity fraud, with intent to conceal or lie about truth of biological father.

2. You tagged your post as relating to Texas. Is that where you live? If so, where do your wife and daughters live? If they live in Texas, where do you live? I live in separate property state, daughters and wife are in TX

3. When did you get married (month and year)?11/1996

4. When did you separate (month and year)? I took a job in separate property state in 1/21

5. When were the children born (months and years)?11/03 and 10/07

6. In what state(s) were the children born? TX

7. Do you have regular visitation with your children? If not, how do you expect to obtain genetic material? court order

8. Why have you allowed a separation to persist for five years without filing for divorce? same issues have probably been persisting for much longer than 5 years, However, these same issues such as co-dependent behavior, passive aggressive behaviors as an example have been consistent over the years. So I am left with wondering or being suspicious about events, words spoken or unspoken, behavior of the wife and kids, etc.




Yes, it matters. However, the extent to which it matters depends on the relevant facts. When you come to a forum like this and ask for information and someone responds by asking you questions about the facts, you should answer those questions because they're important.

 

[justblue]

Didn't 'you post this on FreeAdvice sometime ago?

1. Why are you uncertain about paternity? I am looking for paternity fraud, with intent to conceal or lie about truth of biological father.

Way too late to do anything except, ya know, get a freaking divorce. About 2 decades too late.

 

[Red Kayak]

Gleaned from your inept response to zippy's post:
a) You married 1996. The marital home is in Texas. Your wife and 2 daughters live there. You have lived in another state since 2021 due to work.
b) Your daughters were born in 2003 and 2007.
c) Even though your daughters are adults, you somehow think that disestablishing paternity is an option at this point.
d) You mention "co-dependent behaviors".

Legal advice:
1) If you want to divorce, then retain a lawyer and file for divorce.
2) The ship has looooong sailed on disestablishing paternity. You had 60 days.
3) If you want to get some advantage by claiming marriage fraud, this is definitely not the way to do it.
4) Get therapy. Entering courtroom in your current state of mind is not in your best interests.

This is a long term marriage. It was already a long term marriage when you moved out. Divorce is not a DIY project in such a case.

Your wife's daughters are products of the marriage, so legally they are your daughters. They are both adults, so child support and visitation are generally not an issue in a divorce. (You haven't mentioned if either is disabled.) There is NO reason the get a paternity test for the purposes of getting a potential edge in the divorce.

The only legal issue regarding your legal daughters at this point are whether they can inherit from you. Since you don't like your kids, you can do some estate planning and disinherit them.

Again, get therapy for yourself. You clearly have a crappy relationship with your kids, and your marriage seems to have devolved to an agreement to pay mortgage payments. I don't know who bears the greater blame in this, but regardless, you need to make peace with this, make amends as warranted, and move forward.

P.S. Consider: what are you going to do if a DNA shows that you are the biological father of your legal children?

 

[joenoesmo]

If you all want answers to questions, I am happy to provide them to the best of my ability and understanding. If you want to provide condescending, judgmental opinions and/or advice, I am happy to seek answers elsewhere.

 

[justblue]

You were answered by both Red and I. Red answered you in-depth and very politely. I will admit I was a bit snarky. But still factual.

Have a consult w/ a divorce attorney or 5 to learn your rights and get things rolling.

 

[Red Kayak]

There is no *legal* reason to DNA test your adult *legal* children.
You can, however, disinherit your *legal* children, regardless of whether or not they are your biological children.

Paternity testing at this point is more likely to hurt you than help you in a divorce.

 

[stealthy1]

If you all want answers to questions, I am happy to provide them to the best of my ability and understanding. If you want to provide condescending, judgmental opinions and/or advice, I am happy to seek answers elsewhere.

A lawyer you pay would be your best bet.

ETA: But I am curious... If a court orders your daughters to submit to paternity testing, how will you explain it to them? And what is your goal? What do you think you will get out of it?

And, of course, all of this assumes a court would order your adult children to submit to a paternity test. I suspect not.

 

[justblue]

A lawyer you pay would be your best bet.

ETA: But I am curious... If a court orders your daughters to submit to paternity testing, how will you explain it to them? And what is your goal? What do you think you will get out of it?

And, of course, all of this assumes a court would order your adult children to submit to a paternity test. I suspect not.

I doubt it as well. There is no legal reason for it.