My right of first refusal clause is as follows (word for word):
In the event the parent regularly scheduled to care for the children would use an alternative caregiver for a period of more than four hour(sic), that parent shall offer a right of first refusal to the other parent in caring for the children before arranging for an alternate caregiver.
My ex has abused this clause to hurt my parents. On multiple occasions my parents wanted the boys to stay with them for an activity or other grandparent time, but she has swooped in and grabbed them up and not allowed my parents to keep the boys. This was always on my time.
The question I have is:
This coming weekend, I have two tickets to a college football game and my parent and some friends (all church friends, and tea tollers, so not a wild and crazy tailgate) are planning to have a tailgate before the game, and then attend the game.
I was going to let my two oldest boys have my two tickets so they can enjoy my parents and the tailgate, and I would stay home with my youngest and watch the game on TV.
This will be over 4 hours. Does this constitute something I would have to ask her about? I'm not arranging a caregiver so that I can go out, but allowing the boys to attend a fun activity, and I will be watching my little one.
I know if I ask her it will be a major ordeal, but I don't want to violate the agreement either.
I hate this clause because it allows the other person to just be vindictive and takes away my ability to allow my boys to have some grandparent time or other time on an outing potentially... Seems like an overnight birthday party, or other things would be at risk if he choose if I have to let her have the choice in those cases.
In the event the parent regularly scheduled to care for the children would use an alternative caregiver for a period of more than four hour(sic), that parent shall offer a right of first refusal to the other parent in caring for the children before arranging for an alternate caregiver.
My ex has abused this clause to hurt my parents. On multiple occasions my parents wanted the boys to stay with them for an activity or other grandparent time, but she has swooped in and grabbed them up and not allowed my parents to keep the boys. This was always on my time.
The question I have is:
This coming weekend, I have two tickets to a college football game and my parent and some friends (all church friends, and tea tollers, so not a wild and crazy tailgate) are planning to have a tailgate before the game, and then attend the game.
I was going to let my two oldest boys have my two tickets so they can enjoy my parents and the tailgate, and I would stay home with my youngest and watch the game on TV.
This will be over 4 hours. Does this constitute something I would have to ask her about? I'm not arranging a caregiver so that I can go out, but allowing the boys to attend a fun activity, and I will be watching my little one.
I know if I ask her it will be a major ordeal, but I don't want to violate the agreement either.
I hate this clause because it allows the other person to just be vindictive and takes away my ability to allow my boys to have some grandparent time or other time on an outing potentially... Seems like an overnight birthday party, or other things would be at risk if he choose if I have to let her have the choice in those cases.