Will I lose my daughter

[calitan1]

Back in February of this year I caught my husband phsycially abuse my daughter on hidden video. The video showed him smack her on the head several times. I had my husband arrested and he served 6 months in jail. There was also a protective order against him on my daughter. She is 4. He is her stepfather. When he appeared be for the judge to be sentenced the judged signed off on it and terminated the protective order so he would be able to come home once he got out since I have two other children with him whom he was not abusive towards.

I was released a couple weeks ago, and has been staying in my house until he is able to find a job and get his own place. I agreed to this for our children's sake, since he has no friends or family here that he could stay with. I am taking every precaution to ensure my daughter's happiness and safety. I check with her everyday to make sure she is not fightented or scared that he is back home, and I never leave her alone with him.

The problem now is her biological father who hasn't been very prominent in her life as a father up to this point is being very adiment that he does not want him around her at all. He has threatened to take her from me and not give her back. He states that he also has filed a civil protective order against him in my daughter's behalf as well, which would mean that he cannot be around her for 2 years.

I would like to know what his chances are of actually being able to win a custody of her or have her taken away from me.

Please help!

 

[Duranie]

You need to make sure your husband is not ever around your daughter again, and that means likely divorcing him. I actually volunteer in Social Services and most severe abuse happens from step-fathers and boyfriends. A childs risk of abuse goes up 8 times when an unrelated male moves into the home. The abuse often escalates, until the child is severely injured or killed.

Now that you know your husband is abusive to your daughter, you need to pu your child first, or place the girl in a home where she will not be harmed. If you are going to allow your husband to stay in your home you should look into placing the girl with her father, or grandparents. Even bio Dad's house is probably safer than yours. If I were you I would divorce him. I would NEVER choose a man over my child. also now that you know the man is abusive, you also face criminal charges should he hurt your daughter again since you know he is a danger to the girl and you allow him to be around her. Mothers in these scenarios are being prosecuted more and more.

If CPS or social services finds out that he is still living there, your daughter will likely be removed from you and put into a foster home. I am sure that would be devastating to you. If I were you, send the girl to her fathers for now if you are going to allow this man to live in your home. Personally if I were you, I would kick him out and file a RO on him to stay away from your daughter.

Please take this very seriously. You need to kick this man out of your house and make sure he is NOT around your daughter at all. You should be seeing a divorce attorney. If you are sure he will not hurt his own kids you can give him visitation with them, and of course he should NEVER be around your daughter.

Please let me know if you have any more questions.

 

[calitan1]

Thanks for your input, but just to clarify. I wouldn't be here if I wasnt taking this matter seriously. I believe I mentioned this too, but my husband is only temporarily living in my house until he finds another place to live. I NEVER leave my daughter alone with him at any time. She is completely safe in my house.

Also, I have already spoken to CPS to ensure that having my husband back in my house now is not an issue. They have assured me that unless there is another report of abuse against him towards her, they are not interested.

As far as her biological father's house being safer than mine, that is pretty insane comment especially since you dont even know him or me.

All I am concerned about is the well being of ALL my children. I am here to seek legal advice from a Lawyer, so if you do not fall under this category I would appreciate it if you didnt waste my time with your uninformed OPINIONS. I dont need opinions, I need legal truths.

 

[Duranie]

Apparantly nobody has complained about the step-father living there. I can almost assure you, once Dad calls CPS and reports a man convicted of child abuse is living there, you will have a problem.

Sorry you do not like my advice. You asked if it is possible you can lose your daughter and the answer is a strong yes. There is actually only 1 attorney on this board and he rarely answers family law.

You asked a question and I answered it. I am sorry you did not like my answer. Dad does have a right to file for custody and in this instance he does have a chance of getting it.

Want a sugar-coated answer or support, go elsewhere. I see this all the time and that is why I answered you post.

 

[calitan1]

The only reason I dont "like" your answer is because you have NO IDEAL what you are talking about. You know NOTHING of her biological father and to suggest that he could possibly be given custody of her makes me LAUGH!

I never asked for a sigar (which I think you meant to say "sugar") coated answer.

I simply was looking for some LEGAL COUNSEL not uneducated OPINIONS.

I believe to I asked you not to waste my time by replying to my post.

CPS knows he is staying there as I stated before. The father has already contacted CPS and was told they are not interested unless there she is currently being abused. (which she is not). So like I said before quit wasting my time with your "Advice"

 

[Duranie]

If you want an attorney to answer your post go to http://community.lawyers.com/messageboards/list.asp

post to the family law boards.

Attorneys there do answer posts. You probably won't like their answers either.

In your original post you said nothing about the father already contacting CPS. Again, I have a near impossible time believing you called CPS and they don't care. In cases such as this they would assign a case worker to your home. The statement of the fact that CPS does not care because the girl is not currently being abused is total baloney. The girl is in an abusive household since the man who abused her is living there.

I feel really sory for your daughter. Something tells me this is not the end of this.

 

[calitan1]

You know nothing! and i feel sorry for anyone who would take your "ADVICE" as being sound.

You can trash talk me all you want. But don't forget I was the one who put my husband behind bars to begin with. I would never choose a man over any of my children.

I dont lie. CPS has been notified and they have no concern in this matter.

You dont need to "feel sory" ( I think you meant "Sorry") for my daughter, all three of my children are happy and healthy, and as long as I am their mother they will continue to be.

Thank you for the link I hope I do not hear from you again!

 

[MichelleG]

I am not an attorney but I wanted to give you my feedback.

Your first post says you caught your husband abusing your daughter on videotape, which sounds to me you had suspicions he was abusing her and he was finally caught. How many times has this child been abused by him before he was caught?

How old is the child?

I do not know where you live, if I have missed it in your post I apologize but the DSS/CPS in my area would not have told you your daughter will not be taken away. Since there is a history of abuse with the child, CPS in most cases would assign a case worker to talk to you. If the cases is substantiated, then the child would be removed from the home. If unsubstantiated then the case gets closed. CPS probably told you that because they are so short on case workers they felt it was not necessary to assign one to the case however, it seems to me you might have some problems in the future.

I am a little surprised that your husbands is not under some sort of probation that does not allow him to have any contact with the child, or some sort of restraining order. It is a little surprising the judge lifted the RO given the fact he was convicted of some sort of child abuse.

I am going to agree with the Duranie to the point that it is possible you are going to lose custody of your child as long as you allow this man under your roof, even if temporary. I am a mother and there is no way I would take the chance.

Good luck