monkeyrouge
New Member
I have been divorced for nearly 10 years. Since the divorce things have been friendly and we have dealt with parenting and custody issues by ourselves with out the courts intervention. We both want to have control of the issues and not put it in the courts hands. We believe the courts are a last resort because most likely someone is going to walk away unhappy. At least if we work together we can figure things out that makes everyone happy.
Right now we have our own arrangment because I moved to another state because my current husband had job opportunities and we had the chance to buy our own home there, something that we could have never done in our old state due to the cost of living.
My oldest son wanted to live with his father which I always knew would happen one day. The younger one is homeschooled with my two other kids and he shares time between both his dad and I in 3 month increments.
There have been some changes in my ex's house. His wife left him last summer. A new woman moved in with her children a couple weeks later. My boys have been complaining since then that their father is not listening to their needs and only cares about what this woman and her kids feel. My ex claims he and this woman are no longer dating and he is kicking her out but so far nothing has happened. My oldest son is BEGGING me in tears to come stay for the next three month increment while his father figures out what he is doing with this woman. I have no problem with that and I think it would be good for everyone involved if his dad could have some time to work things out.
However my ex says no way he is coming to stay here more than 6 days while on winter break. He uses our son's grades as an excuse saying his grades are not good so he needs to stay at that school. I don't see how that is a factor? He could either be enrolled in the virtual school here or even the public school, maybe a change would help him refocus on his school work and his grades might improve? They could not get worse! My son called crying and said his father said he could not got because he (the father) would be too lonely. I don't think it is fair to make our son carry his father's emotions! Nor do I think it is fair that he can not have a chance to try the same arrangement as his brother since I believe that the courts say that a child has the right to have access to both parents. When I bring this sort of thing up my ex just throws things from the past in my face and threatens me with telling the court how I agreed to send him back the child support money when he has both our kids with him. I do send him the money whenever I am sent money but I can only send him what I get. The child support system is not perfect and I do not always get the money each week. Before I moved I gave him papers that I signed agreeing to modify child support but he never filed them, most likely because he feared getting slammed by the office of child support for never reporting a raise.
If we were to take this to court what kind of arrangment is standard with parents living in different states? I really did not want to do anything permanent I just wanted my son to be able to have this time away from a stressful situation and to allow my ex to be able to have time to deal with things in his life with out worrying about the kids.
Right now we have our own arrangment because I moved to another state because my current husband had job opportunities and we had the chance to buy our own home there, something that we could have never done in our old state due to the cost of living.
My oldest son wanted to live with his father which I always knew would happen one day. The younger one is homeschooled with my two other kids and he shares time between both his dad and I in 3 month increments.
There have been some changes in my ex's house. His wife left him last summer. A new woman moved in with her children a couple weeks later. My boys have been complaining since then that their father is not listening to their needs and only cares about what this woman and her kids feel. My ex claims he and this woman are no longer dating and he is kicking her out but so far nothing has happened. My oldest son is BEGGING me in tears to come stay for the next three month increment while his father figures out what he is doing with this woman. I have no problem with that and I think it would be good for everyone involved if his dad could have some time to work things out.
However my ex says no way he is coming to stay here more than 6 days while on winter break. He uses our son's grades as an excuse saying his grades are not good so he needs to stay at that school. I don't see how that is a factor? He could either be enrolled in the virtual school here or even the public school, maybe a change would help him refocus on his school work and his grades might improve? They could not get worse! My son called crying and said his father said he could not got because he (the father) would be too lonely. I don't think it is fair to make our son carry his father's emotions! Nor do I think it is fair that he can not have a chance to try the same arrangement as his brother since I believe that the courts say that a child has the right to have access to both parents. When I bring this sort of thing up my ex just throws things from the past in my face and threatens me with telling the court how I agreed to send him back the child support money when he has both our kids with him. I do send him the money whenever I am sent money but I can only send him what I get. The child support system is not perfect and I do not always get the money each week. Before I moved I gave him papers that I signed agreeing to modify child support but he never filed them, most likely because he feared getting slammed by the office of child support for never reporting a raise.
If we were to take this to court what kind of arrangment is standard with parents living in different states? I really did not want to do anything permanent I just wanted my son to be able to have this time away from a stressful situation and to allow my ex to be able to have time to deal with things in his life with out worrying about the kids.
