Harassment, Stalking, Misconduct What is considered stalking

[Ddub2017]

Your actions, at least as you describe here, would not likely support a stalking claim. That does not stop her from saying it or stop an investigation if she reports it. I only mean to say if you should ever find yourself in court over it there is apparently no reasonable evidence to support a legitimate fear.
Temporary restraining orders are given out like candy. She could get one for just about any reason she wants to claim before you have a chance to defend. Eventually you would have your day in court to defend against her claims. Assuming she is honest and reports the circumstances as you have given them here, there likely would be no grounds for a permanent order.
There may be other lesser "harassment" statutes that could apply if you keep attempting contact, but it is a far stretch to call what you have described here as stalking.
As was suggested, you are best of to leave this all in the past. Although you could ultimately prevail against any allegations that are made, it is best to not have them be made to begin with. It is time to move on.

Thank you! The flowers were sent on her birthday. I hadn't talked or texted her for over two weeks before I sent the flowers. Who knew she didn't want flowers? I called to see if she got them. Then I realized I was blocked. So??? No one ever said "I don't want to talk to you!!" I thought it was her being pissed at me over something. But that stalker claim is a shocking and game changing thing to me.

 

[mightymoose]

I can't answer for the others, but I can direct you to the text of the stalking statute that was provided in the first response:

"A person who, without lawful authority, willfully or maliciously engages in a course of conduct that would cause a reasonable person to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, harassed or fearful for the immediate safety of a family or household member, and that actually causes the victim to feel terrorized, frightened, intimidated, harassed or fearful for the immediate safety of a family or household member, commits the crime of stalking."

As was suggested, she could make any claim she wants. The reasonableness of those claims will be assessed by others. If your description of what happened is true and complete, it seems to me she could not reasonably fear anything based on your actions and her claim would not go very far at all. The worst of it is that you continue to attempt to contact knowing she does not want contact, but lacking any reasonable threats to anyone it simply is not stalking. Her only realistic option is a civil restraining order, but if you cease contact on your own an order is not necessary.

In your case you have had an ongoing relationship with this person. It is not unreasonable that you would attempt contact in the way you indicated, and should be expected. The fact that she doesn't like it does not suddenly make your contact "stalking", and is in part her own fault for engaging in the relationship.

 

[mightymoose]

I hadn't talked or texted her for over two weeks before I sent the flowers. Who knew she didn't want flowers? I called to see if she got them. Then I realized I was blocked. So??? No one ever said "I don't want to talk to you!!"

This is why it is unreasonable.
However, now you do know you have been blocked and that no further contact is desired. Continuing attempts could be a problem. Best to forget she exists and move along.

 

[leslie82]

She's not going to the police. Because she's not being stalked. It's a threat. I just needed to know my options. I didn't know that someone can just say that with any evidence. Now I know.
I'm not shaken by this or having a hard time understanding the legality of this. As far as a married woman goes. She could come and go as she pleased. At anytime she could of text or called and said "Its over!" But has never happened. That's her issue not mine.

A 2 year relationship with a married coworker abruptly ended.
There was a arguement over the phone. 2 weeks later on her birthday I sent roses, I never received a text or any sort of response. I found out I was blocked from the phone. I called her at work to ask about the roses and was hung up on. I asked her close friend exactly what was the problem. I was then texted a very hostile message a her and her husband going to the police. She claimed was stalking her. Mind you, last year this same thing came up. After a month of vacation, she apologized for letting people think I was stalking and we continued to see each other.
What makes a person a stalker??? What a grounds to gives someone a restraining order?? I kept every text she ever sent me. And when does it become defamation??? Or how can I protect myself

See the bolded? That was your hint to leave her the hell alone. She has made it pretty damn clear she wants nothing to do with you. When someone BLOCKS another person from calling their phone that's pretty clear they don't want to talk to you.

Just stop worrying about it. Let it go - and if she contacts you then IGNORE her and BLOCK her so she can't contact you. It's not rocket science. If someone has gotten to the point of even threatening to go to the police it's pretty obvious you have crossed a line. Why do you want this drama in your life? Why do you keep pushing this? If she gets a temporary restraining order, there will be a hearing for a final one. You can go to that and state why it shouldn't be issued. But you aren't at that point.

If you really want to get LEGAL advice you need to talk to a LAWYER. So go find one that does free consultations. But the best way to avoid any legal issues is for you to just stay away from her.

 

[Ddub2017]

A 2 year relationship with a married coworker abruptly ended.
There was a arguement over the phone. 2 weeks later on her birthday I sent roses, I never received a text or any sort of response. I found out I was blocked from the phone. I called her at work to ask about the roses and was hung up on. I asked her close friend exactly what was the problem. I was then texted a very hostile message a her and her husband going to the police. She claimed was stalking her. Mind you, last year this same thing came up. After a month of vacation, she apologized for letting people think I was stalking and we continued to see each other.
What makes a person a stalker??? What a grounds to gives someone a restraining order?? I kept every text she ever sent me. And when does it become defamation??? Or how can I protect myself

See the bolded? That was your hint to leave her the hell alone. She has made it pretty damn clear she wants nothing to do with you. When someone BLOCKS another person from calling their phone that's pretty clear they don't want to talk to you.

Just stop worrying about it. Let it go - and if she contacts you then IGNORE her and BLOCK her so she can't contact you. It's not rocket science. If someone has gotten to the point of even threatening to go to the police it's pretty obvious you have crossed a line. Why do you want this drama in your life? Why do you keep pushing this? If she gets a temporary restraining order, there will be a hearing for a final one. You can go to that and state why it shouldn't be issued. But you aren't at that point.

If you really want to get LEGAL advice you need to talk to a LAWYER. So go find one that does free consultations. But the best way to avoid any legal issues is for you to just stay away from her.

Mightymoose understood why I came one here. I have no problems leaving her alone, considering I wasn't crossing the line in the first place. It's reasonable. All good. But don't threaten someone when you know they have no interest in harming you. At anytime she could have said no more. No one would challenged that. Its to be expected.

 

[leslie82]

Mightymoose understood why I came one here. I have no problems leaving her alone, considering I wasn't crossing the line in the first place. It's reasonable. All good. But don't threaten someone when you know they have no interest in harming you. At anytime she could have said no more. No one would challenged that. Its to be expected.

And you can take the hint that she doesn't want to talk to her AND realize she is a married woman and just have avoided that drama to start with. Married means unavailable. That's pretty simple. Why would you even get involved with a married person to start with was just begging for drama and trouble.

Here's what you do now...you stop calling her. Stop sending flowers. Block EVERYTHING of her - social media. Phone. Email. Everything. Then you forget about her and you go find someone who is single and not attached in a relationship or marriage to anyone else.

 

[adjusterjack]

Ddub, I don't see any purpose in continuing this discussion. We've said all we need to say, summarized by Leslie82:

Here's what you do now...you stop calling her. Stop sending flowers. Block EVERYTHING of her - social media. Phone. Email. Everything. Then you forget about her and you go find someone who is single and not attached in a relationship or marriage to anyone else.

Please do not post anymore.

Thread closed.