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What do I do?

Discussion in 'Other Legal Issues' started by Lpmalakye, Oct 24, 2017.

  1. Lpmalakye

    Lpmalakye Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Hello everyone, I am caught in a custody battle between my girlfriend and her ex. I am responsible for getting my stepdaughter to the bus stop, picking her up and while her mother is at work. My stepdaughter father has shown up to the bus stop multiple times that were obviously not on his allowed visitation days to harass me and delay her going to school. He has shown up to her motgers job to antagonize and harass her as well...in the most recent court appearance he claimed her mother and I were abusing her both physically and sexually...

    i know there's nothing I can do when it comes to custody or him seeing her on his days but with all of what else is going on I'm worried about my step daughter and myself while she's in my care. Is there anything I can do to legally keep him away from us like a OoP or RO? Thank you for your responses
     
  2. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    You can file for a peace order/restraining order if you feel there is a physical threat. Your wife can also go back to court to modify/enforce the custody order to address contact during non-custodial periods.
     
  3. Lpmalakye

    Lpmalakye Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thank you for the info. I I'll bring that to her attention and will check into getting a lawyer for myself. I do have a few questions regarding the process though.

    I am technically an out of state resident, should I be looking to hire a lawyer from my own state or where I am currently residing? What "branch"? Should I go to for filing a PO/RO? Should I look into getting a court appointed lawyer...can I?
     
  4. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    Please elaborate.

    Courts won't appoint counsel for something like this.
     
  5. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    What do you mean you are an out of state resident? Your own state would be where you reside. I have no idea what "branch" you could be referring to. Branch of what? Unless you are a defendant in a criminal case you wouldn't get a criminal lawyer.
     
  6. Lpmalakye

    Lpmalakye Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Sorry, I am unfamiliar with the proper terminology for this sort of thing. I haven't had much experience with court . By branch i mean ...for example the custody battle between the parents is domestic court, and what I mean by out of state resident is I am still technically a resident of VA, I came to NY until she settled things in court with the father (which may take longer than originally thought) so I am staying with her but have not changed any of my personal information yet. Giving that will take some time and the problems with the father are happening now what should I do? I hope that is easier to understand
     
  7. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    She (not you) goes to court to report the actions. Simple enough?
     
  8. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    If child abuse and/or child sexual molestation accusations are surfacing, it might be best for you to return to VA.



    When the divorce is concluded, you can return.


    If returning to VA is not what you choose to do, you might wish to limit your contact with the child only to times her mother is present.

    You need to understand that the child probably isn't going to be allowed to leave NY state (if and when the divorce is concluded).

    You need to think just how difficult your life will become in NY, especially with the allegations that have been uttered.


    Once that nonsense begins, it rarely ends.



    The woman can move to VA, but the child will be required to remain in NY.
     
  9. Lpmalakye

    Lpmalakye Law Topic Starter New Member

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    But her mother has majority custody where he only has her 2 days a week. I am aware that she cannot leave state (especially since she is in school and one of her father's days is on Sunday) but I have been involved in her life for 2 years (where her father has only shown an "interest" since July of this year) so I cannot just abandon them to make it easier on me. I want to see this to the end. The only thing I am concerned about is that we live in the same town and he runs into us often and I'm trying to avoid a verbal or physical altercation especially with the child present.
     
  10. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    I have no dog in your fight, mate.

    I have never been accused of abusing or molesting anyone or anything.

    You don't need to justify what you choose to do to me.

    I'm just one of billions of dummies all over the internet.

    You might have to defend these allegations one day, or even worse allegations, depending on what you choose to do.

    You asked for information, I gave you my opinion.

    I'm a lawyer, licensed in VA (and a dozen other states), but not licensed in NY.

    You are free to ignore me, and do whatever you want to do.

    You'll reap what you sow, bitter, shriveled fruit, or sweet, juicy fruit.
     
  11. Lpmalakye

    Lpmalakye Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Lol I think there's a misunderstanding...i am not trying to get involved with what goes on between their court matters...i am trying to protect my step daughter and myself from any problems he is already starting to cause while I am with her.

    I am not going to just let him take her away from me if I am taking her to the bus stop (for example) or verbally assault me while she is with me either...so instead of waiting for a physical altercation I wanted to prepare and protect ourselves now
     
  12. Lpmalakye

    Lpmalakye Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I apologize if that came off as rude or unwanted advice. on the contrary i appreciate it but i don't see this having a speedy end or a pleasant one...are you suggesting I just throw what I have with them away because "baby daddy" has a grudge? And as soon as I leave (which is what he wants) he will abandon my step daughter again...but then she will feel I too abandoned her...that makes little sense to me
     
  13. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    The child is NOT your stepdaughter.

    Using that kind of language could cause you, and her mother trouble.

    Even if you and the child's mother were to marry, being a stepparent is little more than a babysitter with a higher level of trust.

    A stepparent carries with it no legal authority over the child.

    If THEIR divorce is contentious referring to THEIR child as a stepchild when you and the child's mother have no LEGAL relationship can only bring more trouble to the mother.

    Yes, protecting yourself is always wise.
     
  14. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    According to you, the man is her father.
     
    Lpmalakye likes this.
  15. Lpmalakye

    Lpmalakye Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thank you for the heads up, I will keep that in mind...So in other words there's not a thing I can do?
     
  16. txls

    txls Well-Known Member

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    There is no way to prevent someone from being the hind end of a donkey if that's what they want to be. You could get a restraining order to keep someone 500 feet away and they can stand 501 feet away. The advice is for you to avoid conflict and avoid anything that might escalate matters with the father. You can't control him, you only have say over your actions.
     
  17. KatDini

    KatDini Well-Known Member

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    Look at the first post again. He's the BOYFRIEND, not StepDad and NOT married to Mom. He has as many rights as any of us here on this board; and even if he were married to Mom, he would have just as many rights in this matter.
     
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