Visitation

[amypolnoff]

I was in ugly child custody battle, receive physical custody by court order and advisement of court mediator. Ex filing OSC every time kids even hiccuped to force judge to change order. Could no longer take emotional harassment even though judge kept denying OSC's. Attorney quit case due to my not having any way to pay because ex rang up the fees too high. Ex refused to provide proof of income. No tax returns filed for 2 yrs. I give $10,000. equity in property to ex, drop contempt charges that were against him, give 4 of 6 horses, etc. just for visitation of every other weekend and alternate Wed., and 1500/mo spousal support. Visitation reads that we keep mediators original visitation schedule, exchange of children to be central location between the homes. Both of us live in Stockton, ex works in S.F. so has kids enrolled in girlfriend's kids' school in Tracy. Ex seems to think I am supposed to drive from Stockton to Tracy to get kids for alternate Wed visits for ''after school until 8 pm'' visitation. His attorney says this means I have to go to the school to get them. Today is first day of this stupidity. Since ex has not enrolled three of the five kids into school, I initially requested two who were very difficult to handle go live with ex, ex says I have to pick up three at his house and one at school in Tracy. The fifth I can not see due to a bogus lie by ex in order to get restraining order against me. Judge never even required proof of accusations and still allowed restraining order. Fifth is at same school as the one that is in school in Tracy and still needed a ride home so ex needed to pick her up. I was forced to go to pick up the three of the kids at ex's house and one at Tracy school or wait until 6 "when he gets home" to see my four kids. The other who goes to Tracy school could not leave with me. How was this child getting to Stockton when she gets out of school at 3? Ex is at home and not at work in S.F. at 2:45 when I arrive to get the three. I am forced to wait until 6 to see other child because I would not go to Tracy to get him because ex's galpal has both kids with her. Ex's girlfriend picks up daughter and then brings child I was supposed to pick up home by 3:30. Other child calls at 4 to say he is home and that ex says I can pick him up at the drop off spot at 6 and no sooner. Drop off location is 5 miles from ex's house. Is this right?

 

[Michael Wechsler]

I think I've read your other post regarding custody. The problem I saw is that your whole situation is a mess. It's impossible to speculate, especially since from what I remember, you have no source of income other than ex-husband and potentially state yet you have a custody battle. You might want to settle this cleanly and look at the situation for what it is. Bottom line is that if you pick up your child a few miles from the home and it's no big deal... then what is the big deal? Do you have a car? If you have an issue you're best off raising it in court. IMHO, the court will probably be furious at one or both of you and tell you that it's about time the two of you worked out differences properly and the court isn't going to spend time each instance one of you decides to throw spite in the direction of the other.