use of your name on a tombstone

[marysloa]

How much control do we have over the unauthorised use of our names on tombstones? My family has included mine, without consulting me, in an epitaph on my father's tombstone. I resent having loving sentiments for my father attributed to me when in fact I did not love him.

I have met with patronising and dismissive behaviour from every lawyer I have approached to advise me on the best way to get my name off that rock. I've even been told that I must learn to live with it, and that I am spoiled and heartless. Not only has the onus been placed on me to justify not loving my father, but even the lawyer I was referred to by my union as part of the benefits of being a member, refused to talk to me and sent a message to me via his secretary that there was no law on this matter.

I find this incredible and wonder whether there might be some law somewhere or some case that could set a precedent in U.S., Canadian, British, New Zealand or even our own Australian law.

Surely you shouldn't be made to endorse a person or product, just because the ad is on a tombstone! I desperately welcome comments on this.

 

[NYClex]

I have seen the strangest things but never heard of something like this before. Now, you have to understand the law on this:

-The law is basically concerned with finding a remedy for damage people suffered because of an unlawful act of others. So to sue someone, in most cases you need to have suffered damage. Here it will be more than doubtful that you could convince a judge that you have any damage because of this. So people will think that you loved your father. Fine. That does not damage you. If it would be the other way round, like they made an inscription: "The grieving family, all but John, the son who never loved his father", then you might have a case.

-the law protects your name from someone doing business with it, like if I sell a car and advertise: Britney Spears loves it, too! She could sue me because I want to make money with her name. Here, the family doesn't want to make any money. So the law is not applicable.

-the law protects your name from being defamed. As shown above, the use of your name is not defamatory, but on the contrarty, lets you appear in a good light. So, no damage, no case.

What all the lawyers told you is true: there is no law against that. You got to live with it. Actually, a lawyer bringing this to court could even be censored, because lawyers are not allowed to bring frivolous lawsuits.

BTW, my answer reflects American law. If you are in a different country you might have different laws, but I doubt it.