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Ungrateful friend won't leave

Discussion in 'Living in, Use of the Premises' started by Christine Miller, Jun 8, 2019.

  1. Christine Miller

    Christine Miller Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jurisdiction:
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    Last year a friend got kicked out of the place why she was staying at. I offered for her daughter to stay with me till school was over so she could graduate. My friend spends at least days a week at her boyfriend house. When she comes around it's only for a few hours, and once in a while she would sleep on the couch. But lately when she comes over she and her kids do whatever they want without even asking me, and she doesn't pay any rent or bills. 1 a month she puts food in the fridge for her kids, the rest of the month I or my boyfriend buy food to feed everyone including her kids. She gives me money once a month that is used for house items that her kids need, shampoo, conditioner, body wash, feminine needs, toothpaste etc. I tried to talk to her about the issue, and nothing has changed. I tried to talk to her about something else and she became belligerent, very angry and verbally abusive I told her I want her to leave my apartment. She said she was not going to leave, that she has right and I will have to evict her. But if she is not here for more than 48hr at a time is that considered living here? She will be gone for as long as 2 weeks at a time, come home make food for her kids shower, change her clothes, and leave again. Does her clothes being here constitute her living here? When she cleaning, it is all the mess her kids made, can I tell her to leave or do I have to evict her?
     
  2. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    IMO, based on what you describe, she and her children are tenants. You need to follow the California LL/Tenant statutes for eviction.

    Eviction - eviction_housing_selfhelp
     
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  3. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    What you describe sounds like a situation requiring eviction.
    Do you own the home? If so, and she is the only person you "rent" to, she might qualify as a lodger rather than as a tenant. You will have to seek legal counsel to clarify that with someone who has the time to hear the details.

    If she is a lodger, all you must do is give her written notice equal to the "rental" period. If she falls to leave before that time you will be able to remove her from the residence without any further court action, and she can be arrested or cited for trespassing if she returns.

    However, if she truly is a tenant then you will have to seek the order from the court. This can be a lengthy process. Start with a "pay or quit" notice, then immediately get things in motion with the court. At the court the eviction is referred to as an "unlawful detainer". There are many resources available online and from the court that detail this process. Follow it EXACTLY.

    In the mean time, if you want her out then stop supporting her. Stop providing food. Remove electronic devices and other conveniences. Secure your linens, dishes, toilet paper... Make them obtain their own. Pull the fuse from your air conditioner whenever they come around. If she isn't able to mooch she may be less likely to come around.
     
  4. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    To clarify: Whatever steps the OP chooses to take, they all begin with proper written notice.
     
  5. Christine Miller

    Christine Miller Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I rent an apartment. I thought that she had to actually be in the apt sleeping here, for more than 30 consecutive days to be considered a tenant? She has been here less than 30 days accumulation in the last year. Can I have her removed as a gratuitous guest since she is here only 1 day a week if that? She pays no bills, no rent, doesn't contribute to the house she gives me money to get her daughter stuff and its never enough. I'm so tired of her I think I should just move.
     
  6. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    You will have to do it the hard way then. Learn the eviction process. You are essentially the landlord and your friend is a subtenant. You may be in violation of your lease by allowing her in to begin with. You need to get her out before it gets worse for you.

    Nope. There is no such requirement. She became a tenant as soon as you reached an agreement. It does not matter that she hasn't paid rent either.

    Nope. However you are free to boot her out at any time, but by ding so you own yourself to civil liability if she should opt to sue for unlawful eviction. Nobody else is going to force her out without an eviction.

    That is an option, but you leave the problem to your landlord who might put the cost of getting the deadbeat out on you for having violated the lease when you allowed her in.
     
  7. Christine Miller

    Christine Miller Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I guess that is the part I'm not understanding I have never had any agreement with her staystayhere. Her daughter was allowed to live here. She just shows up once a week, take a shower, cook her daughter food and leave again. She buys food to feed her kid, she gives me money to get her daughter basic needs shampoo, conditioner, soap , the stuff I need to wash her daughter clothes . But because I'm a nice person and let her sleep on the couch coming down and crashing off drugs I have to to spend hundreds of dollars I don't have to have her leave. And in doing so I can't pay rent or move, now I know to not ever be nice to people again.
     
  8. Christine Miller

    Christine Miller Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Ok if I take away all my stuff , how far am I allowed to go? Can I take the the knobs off the hot water in my shower since she doesn't pay for the water? Can I take the knobs off the stove? Can I take her food out of the fridge since its my fridge?
     
  9. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    No, you can't do those things unless you want to risk being sued for a constructive/illegal eviction.

    Another thing: It has been mentioned by another poster that the tenant has not been paying rent, but that is incorrect. The OP has given you monies and those would be considered rent.
     
  10. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    I missed this. In this situation, a "pay or quit" is not the correct thing to start with. OP needs to give a notice of termination of tenancy. Depending on how long the tenant has resided there, it will need to either be a 30 day (if the tenant has reside there less than a year) or 60 day notice (if the tenant has reside there for a year or more). Pay or quit is not appropriate because there is no set rent amount.
     
  11. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    Yes, I agree. Pay or quit is most often the starting point, but if the goal is to remove her then the option to pay should not be offered. What matters is that appropriate notice is given and things are set in motion with the court ASAP.

    I would add that it may be best to remove the woman's kids too. If she is a tweaker there is no piece of paper that is going to compel her to stay away. Remove her reason to come back, because she will keep getting high and keep coming back to wherever get kids are to crash.

    One last option, if she truly is high then you could also call police to your home. If they determine she is under the influence of drugs she will be arrested. If she doesn't like being arrested she will stop coming to your house.
     
  12. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    No, you don't seem to understand this very important distinction. A pay or quite is never the correct starting point in the OP's situation. There is nothing to pay. Issuing a pay or quit would be totally inappropriate and would actually put the OP back to square one in the process.
     
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  13. Christine Miller

    Christine Miller Law Topic Starter New Member

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    If she gives me money to buy her kids things how is that considered rent
     
  14. Christine Miller

    Christine Miller Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Can I take the food she has in my fridge out so I can put my food in there? Can I take my stuff out of my house, like my couches if I want to if that's where she sleeps
     
  15. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    No one can declare any money she gives you is rent.
    However, a judge might declare it to be so.

    The point is NOT to confirm her lies.

    Even if she gave you money, I doubt that you gave her a written, signed, dated receipt.

    Forget about asking anymore questions, because whatever a stranger tells you will be of no moment or import in court.

    You need to find the RIGHT notice firm to begin the lengthy eviction process.

    The next time SHE DISAPPEARS leaving you with her kids, all you need to do is call child services or the police and report that TWEAKER TILLY abandoned her kids in your home XXX days ago.

    The police or child services will take possession of the kids, and you're on your way to getting TWEAKER TILLY out of your home and life.

    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2019
  16. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    This is California. I can virtually promise you that the money the OP has paid will be considered rent.


    PS: Other than that, I agree with you :)
     
  17. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Yes, justice can be elusive.

    However, one would suspect the SQUATTER would have to PROVE rent was paid, not simply assert it.

    These days, however, the IMPOSSIBLE has become POSSIBLE, up is down, day is night, black is white, sovereign nations no longer have borders, and fences are but mere decoration.
     
  18. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    The woman hands over money on a monthly basis in order to have a place to live. That the OP chooses to spend it on the kids is her own decision.

    I absolutely hear you, but this is California.
     
  19. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    What county? Things in, e.g., Orange County are very different than in, e.g., San Francisco County.
     
  20. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    I'm so sorry you have so much difficulty understanding the things I say.
     

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