Support demand after 13 years

[mitch_fox]

14 years ago I was living in California, in what I believe to have been a monagamous, unmarried, 3 year long relationship that ended without any significant problems. I now live in Florida. I have been contacted by a private attorney representing the woman I was with and her 13 year-old son, who now live in Missouri. I have been informed that this child is mine. Assuming my paternity is proven in lab tests:

1) In what state should a support agreement be handled? In what state should I hire my lawyer?

2) I am married with no children, my assets are comingled with my spouse except IRA & 401K funds. What formula is used to determine my assets for support purposes?

3) What formula is used to determine my monthly/annual support obligation? What about medical support obligations? What about post-secondary education obligations?

4) This is my first contact with this woman since our relationship ended 14 years ago. This is my first knowledge of a child for support. Am I responsible for any back-support? (I do not know of or believe there is any existing court order or settlement establishing my paternity or responsibility for support prior to this request.)

5) Who gets the child for the dependent deduction on US Income Taxes?

6) My son has told me he wishes to have no contact with me. I do not know but believe the mother has influenced this attitude negatively. I would like to get some family/group psychological counseling established with my son, the mother and myself as part of any agreement. Is this possible?

7) Is there any bad faith/negligence issue related to the mother concealing the existance of my son for 13 years?

I want the answers as specifically as possible so I can discuss these and other issues with the attorney I retain with some preliminary knowledge. I know I need to hire experienced representation.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

You have a very complex matter which involves research and analysis of the facts of your case, much more than the relatively simple questions and few issues presented here. The outcome of Family Law cases are usually highly dependent upon the specific facts and circumstances of each case.

1) You never want to have a case litigated in the jurisdiction of the defendant for a variety of reasons. The most obvious are the cost to you in the travel/distance and having to deal remotely with an attorney, as well as the potential for bias in favor of the local resident.

2) I'm not sure which state's law would apply but I'm assuming she will file in MO. It is my understanding that she can do so. Regardless, paternity needs to be established. You should not agree to provide anything until you have consulted with your attorney. The process of proving paternity can be a long and difficult one without mutual agreement.

3) Many states provide for child support until the age of 18. Back support may be issued but it depends upon the circumstances. I don't have much personal experience in this arena but I would find it likely that your attorney will tell you that these are special circumstances. The mother's failure to inform you (I'm assuming that she could have informed you) robbed you of your ability to have a relationship with your son, if indeed the child is yours. Additionally, the mother has created a situation where a relationship at this point would be impossible. However, this does not mean that the child will bear the brunt of this, just the mother if possible.

4) Support guidelines are established by each state and usually dependent upon the income of each party.

With regard to negligence/bad faith issue, the problem with using this theory in Family Court is that you cannot take out the mother's bad acts on the victim, who is the child. How the damages caused to you are handled is something best discussed with your attorney and will probably be dependent upon the facts.

Here is a link to the Bar of the State of Missouri which provides information on paternity proceedings. http://www.mobar.org/pamphlet/support.htm

If you need a personal referral to an experienced professional you can call or send e-mail to TheLaw.com.

 

[cyberjazz]

child support

I am in almost the exact situation except for the following:

1) I live in Texas; the mother and daughter in Missouri
2) 14 years have gone by without my knowledge of the daughter
3) I did not have a "relationship" just a few flings

I have been dealing with this since Oct. 10 and this is what I have come to find out:

1) Aboslutely get an attorney that practices in Missouri and deals in Family Law as their primary practice.

2) I have the formula document for determining the support $$. Once you contact your attorney he/she will go over it with you and send you a copy.

3) Post secondary educational obligations are something I need to find out about myself.

4) For back child support, MO can only go back 5 years max.

5) Deductions? In TX, there is no such thing for our situation. I hope MO sees it differently.

6) Psy counseling, I have not had any info. about.

My case has been filed in Jackson County, MO. I do know of a good lawyer if you would like a reference. I hope I have given you some information you find useful.

 

[Gwydion_Frost]

Here's an interesting conundrum....

I am in a somewhat similiar situation as the above people.

I got out of the service, and returned to Vermont with a pregnant wife back in 1989. 2 months after having the child, my wife left, taking the child with her.

My ex-wife has a 10 year old divorce decree and court order that demands I pay $300.00/month child support. This divorce decree was issued in Texas, of which I've never lived, but she and the child in question were there at the time. I was not present during any of the settlement, and she saw that the settlement was done using our taxes from when I was in the service, using financial information that was nowhere near accurate.

Shortly thereafter, we lost track of each other. There was NO contact, whatsoever, between any of the people involved.

Approximately one year ago, I recieved a phone call. It was her. Her new military husband and her were moving to NY state. Did I want to establish contact with the girl who was giving her mom hell for her not knowing who I was?

I convinced her to let me have a visitation with the child this past summer, and during this time, I had a paternity test done. When my ex found out about this, as I had done it without her consent, she immediately filed to collect the child support from the state of NY where she now is a resident, with the child.

In all this time, she never pursued this....until now, and I have NEVER PAID ONE PENNY towards this child, or the court order.

The test results indicated that the person reading this post has more genetically in common with the child than I do. I called her, and informed her of the results. She claimed she knew that already, and had the child recite in the background a little mantra over the phone: "Eric is my biological father, you are my legal father, Andrew is my step father." So, in essense, she has filed for collecting child support on a child she knew was not mine.

The state of NY contacted the state of Vermont, where I reside, and insisted on collecting the debt. The state of Vermont insisted I pay it. I showed them the test results, and the office of Child Support has indeed acknowledged the certified test results as being valid, and that I am not the father, and even went so far as to forwarding a copy to the NY state office as well.

So, what is the problem? Both states are still persuing the case, because they are following the court order they are mandated to uphold. The state of Vermont has claimed it does not have jurisdiction on the order. The Child Support office in NY claims it cannot do anything about the order other than enforce it, and that the order is not theirs either, so there is nothing they can do about it.

So, my question is this....how can I get one of these states to actually claim this order as their jurisdiction before they begin to rob me blind for a bastard child that is someone elses responsibility? I have all the documentation to show that this is a bogus case, but I do not have a lot of money to hire a lawyer. I know that all this will take is getting these facts and the paper in front of a judge, and the case will be dismissed, but neither state seems interested in telling me HOW I may do so...

Any assistance will be greatly appreciated, so I may dedicate my mind and thoughts on my new bride and my new son, who actually DOES belong to me.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

Well, congrats on your son and new marriage, which is yours!

First, have you written any letters to these agencies alerting them of the fraud? If you have not, you are best to do so with a certifiable method of delivery such as overnight mail or certified with return receipt requested.

Second, have you reported a crime to the attorney general in TX and/or NY? This may begin the process of relief that you requested as the test results should indicate that the courts were used for fraud. I'm sure they won't be happy.

Third, and probably the quickest option, is probably to inform the ex (and her military husband who may know of the fraud) that unless she or he takes care of your problem due to the fraud, you will have to see to it that her and possibly her military man will need to be zealously prosecuted. You can explain this to her or her military husband kindly and I'm sure that they will understand.

You should reserve your rights as you have a potential lawsuit against them for a number of civil actions. If you are interested in pursuing this aspect, perhaps consulting with a lawyer on this area might be advisable.

However, through all of this I'm wondering how paternity was established in the first place? The test should have uncovered the problem from the beginning. Were they not performed?

 

[Gwydion_Frost]

Thank you for your insightful comments. Here's the answer to your question. NO test was performed initially when the child was born, only recently. Paternity was established due only to the fact that a child was borne to a married woman. OBVIOUSLY, the child MUST be the husband's was the logical conclusion of the TX judge, since the mother provided the name of her husband to them as such.

NEW DEVELOPMENT: The state has finally began to automatically tap into my paychecks on a weekly basis, deducting what I "owe". When this is brought to court, is it possible to expect, or ask for the return of such funds already collected to their rightful benefactor, ie; my son?

 

[Michael Wechsler]

Originally posted by Gwydion Frost:
NEW DEVELOPMENT: The state has finally began to automatically tap into my paychecks on a weekly basis, deducting what I "owe". When this is brought to court, is it possible to expect, or ask for the return of such funds already collected to their rightful benefactor, ie; my son?

Wow... this is pretty fascinating stuff. Of course it is possible and you should expect a return of the funds -- after all, they were taken pursuant to fraud. You should definitely send notification to the appropriate state agencies (directed to individuals, not just general letters) to alert them of the fraud. Once the money is gone it is gone and the person you might need to sue is your ex and her current boyfriend/husband because that is where the money trail ends and there was a valid judgment in place.

You may also wish to do what is stated above -- fraud is fraud. The ex and the guy should know what will happen to them if they keep the money and a certified return receipt letter stating the facts proves that they knew that they were not entitled to the money and that the judgment was obtained by fraud/mistake, likely fraud.