Still trying to protect my 89 y.o. father, please help!

[sgtswife22]

I posted a few months back, but can't link to that post to give you the background and history because I don't have enough posts yet. I think it can be found by searching by my user name sgtswife22.

I have three half-sisters (two, if you don't count the first cousin raised as a sister) and a half-brother; all children from our deceased mother's first marriage. I am my father's ONLY biological child.

Since the time of my previous thread, my husband and I consulted our own attorney here in Arkansas who advised us to go to Florida, "Dadnap" my Dad, and bring him here to Arkansas. The attorney advised me that we could start the paperwork for temporary guardianship/guardianship as soon as we got Dad to Arkansas.

Also since that time, two of my half-sisters have started distributing Dad's assets between the two of them - the one with the POA and the one that livs in the same town as Dad, "Anne". These two half-sisters are very close. The one with POA even gave Anne Dad's car. Anne has helped herself to several valuable items in Dad's house, including some crystal that has since been sold by Anne on ebay. They have now moved my Dad to a third nursing home and in this one, he is kept on a locked ward. The sister with the POA won't pay the extra $20 a month it costs for Dad to have a phone in his room; restricting my contact with Dad even further. In addition, we discovered that paperwork for an annuity Dad had purchased several years ago in the amount of $50,000 that was to be split between the five of us mysteriously had page 3, the page listing beneficiaries disappear. A new copy was obtained by the sister with POA and she found that Anne was listed as sole beneficiary. I saw this paperwork with my own eyes in 2011 and it listed all five of us. That has since been corrected.

My husband and I just returned from a sweet, but short visit with my Dad. During the visit, I gave serious consideration to taking Dad out to lunch and just returning to Arkansas with him. Problem is, Dad needs daily medication and a breathing treatment, things I wouldn't be able to provide during the trip. On the last day of our visit we did take Dad to mass at his church (he asked me to) and out to lunch; a total of four hours away from the nursing home; I followed the nursing homes rules and regulations to do so to a T. Anne was waiting for us at the front door of the nursing home when we returned. She was absolutely freaking out that we had taken Dad out from under her control for four hours.

My question: How long would I need to be a resident of Florida to file for the guardianship there, so I can provide Dad with his medical necessities before returning to Arkansas or would I even need to be? I can be away from home for a short period of time, but my husband and I own a working farm and any time away is a hardship.

Also, would it do any good at this point for me to let my father's attorney know what all is going on?

Thanks in advance.

 

[mightymoose]

Have you discussed these matterswith dad? What does he want to do?
Your biggest problem seems to be that dad gave the POA to your half sister even though you are the next of kin.
Perhaps of dad agrees that things are being mismanaged he may change the POA.
Otherwise you are going to have to duke it out in court with the half sister.
Don't do it out of spite, but if dads property is being mismanaged in a manner that does not seem to be in his best interest but for the benefit of others you might want to make a report to adult protective services. Financial abuse of adependent adult is a criminal offense.
I dont believe you need to be a FL resident if your intent is to bring dad to AR. As your attorney told you, simply bring dad to AR, but only if he is willing. Dads wishes if he is of sound mind, override the POA, but yours don't.

 

[disagreeable]

You get little sympathy from me. I drove 1600 miles (800) inside Mexico, slept 2 hours, packed up dad, his suitcase and hooked up an oxygen machine to my car battery via a power inverter. Hightailed it back to the US. Traded off dad to my wife in LR after a nights sleep and she relayed him to Cleveland Clinic in OH. I left LR on Friday night, dad was in Cleveland Clinic (Cleveland OH) on Tuesday.

You make it work, if it is necessary.

 

[sgtswife22]

First thanks for the reply. Dad is no longer competent to make his own decisions due to a mistake at the first nursing home. He doesn't have alzheimers per se, but a similiar condition that causes his rationality and memory to come and go. The first nursing home's own house doctor knew Dad was on lasix, a diuretic, but failed to have his sodium levels drawn at regular intervals; starving his brain of much needed sodium. Sometimes he's clear as a bell and other times he's living in another time and place. Examples: He knew me, my husband, recited the catholic mass word for word when I took him, even tried to get us to give him the code to get off the locked ward he's on. At other times he's still a young man in the US Navy.
I desperately want my dad to be with family, not in a ****** homes - no matter how nice, they are all warehouses for old people (I've worked in a few) - but no if it means hastening his death. If I could get my Dad on an airplane, it would make thing much more possible; but until they start having submarine service from Florida to Little Rock, it's going to have to be a car trip.

 

[sgtswife22]

I don't do this out of spite or for financial gain. I have a happy, comfortable life here in Arkansas. I do this because to me, my father is the greatest man that ever lived. To me, he walks on water. He deserves better than to be locked in a cell, in diapers (because they don't have enough staff to take him to the bathroom when needed), robbed of everything; including his dignity.

 

[mightymoose]

If dad is not competent then you need the assistance of the court and attorneys... however that also depends on the type of POA that was given. You were already working with an attorney. Keep doing so.