Misses2049
New Member
To summarize, my ex-husband left his son (when he had custody Mon-Thursday) and did not return or contact him again, no x-mas presents, no birthday cards, nada. He turned off his phone, left his house, quit his job, and was not findable. It's been over two years at this point in time. In November, we hired an attorney for step-parent adoption, to which my ex-husband miraculously showed up to court to protest and try to get the adoption thrown out. Since that point (which has almost been six months), he has made zero effort to contact me or his son any further.
I no longer trust the ethics of my lawyer at this stage because he has been padding charges and making decisions on our behalf without consulting us. For example, our initial trial was set in April to decided whether my exes rights would be terminated or not. Without any contact or even a courtesy call to let us know what was going on, our lawyer decided to request an extension for the trial date, knowing that we are on a tight time line to be moved out of the state with the military.
We asked our lawyer for updates when discovery was finished, etc, because we started to realize that he was adding in charges he shouldn't and over charging us in certain areas (like charging us a "lawyers fee" to use a "legal secretary" when there is a $100 an hour difference, and so forth). Almost three months went by without hearing anything from him - so we assumed that nothing had been going on. Out of the blue, we get a phone message on July 8th in which the lawyer's secretary just says to "call back," nothing out of the ordinary. We called back the next day to find out that the trial had happened the morning of the 8th and they called to see why we missed it!
This was followed by a letter in the mail saying that they had tried to contact us on the 7th and were unsuccessful, but left lots of messages (which is untrue, as the July 8th message was the first and only message we'd ever gotten). The lawyer's letter also boasted that he got the trial rescheduled for October despite our absence in court, when our lawyer knew full well that we had to leave the state in July.
Now the sticky part - we are being relocated with the military on Monday to the other side of the country. This move has been set for some time and is required. I know we can get a JAG to work with us, but I've also been made aware that they are very busy and backed up for months, so it might be impossible to find one to work with us in time. And overall I'm concerned that we will not financially be able to return to Ohio after we move, assuming my husband could even get the time period off and wasn't deployed at that stage.
I'm not sure how to move forward with this. My husband is the plaintiff, and he will most likely not be able to attend the trial. I don't want to just be a no show to our trial date, and another extension will not help us. I don't think they can dismiss an adoption with prejudice, but I'm not sure what to do and I don't trust my lawyer and am about to fire him, but we can't afford a new one. Would it be possible to submit affidavits to the court since we can't physically be there? Or would it be wisest to try and dismiss this case and file it again in our new state after some more time without contact has gone by? I don't want to hurt our case by making a bad move, but we're in a bad situation now and the case seems to be dead in the water at this stage (and I'm not certain, but I believe the background check and home study expires after a certain point in time too).
Any advice or any one who could point me in the right direction of what to try/research, I would greatly appreciate your assistance!
I no longer trust the ethics of my lawyer at this stage because he has been padding charges and making decisions on our behalf without consulting us. For example, our initial trial was set in April to decided whether my exes rights would be terminated or not. Without any contact or even a courtesy call to let us know what was going on, our lawyer decided to request an extension for the trial date, knowing that we are on a tight time line to be moved out of the state with the military.
We asked our lawyer for updates when discovery was finished, etc, because we started to realize that he was adding in charges he shouldn't and over charging us in certain areas (like charging us a "lawyers fee" to use a "legal secretary" when there is a $100 an hour difference, and so forth). Almost three months went by without hearing anything from him - so we assumed that nothing had been going on. Out of the blue, we get a phone message on July 8th in which the lawyer's secretary just says to "call back," nothing out of the ordinary. We called back the next day to find out that the trial had happened the morning of the 8th and they called to see why we missed it!
This was followed by a letter in the mail saying that they had tried to contact us on the 7th and were unsuccessful, but left lots of messages (which is untrue, as the July 8th message was the first and only message we'd ever gotten). The lawyer's letter also boasted that he got the trial rescheduled for October despite our absence in court, when our lawyer knew full well that we had to leave the state in July.
Now the sticky part - we are being relocated with the military on Monday to the other side of the country. This move has been set for some time and is required. I know we can get a JAG to work with us, but I've also been made aware that they are very busy and backed up for months, so it might be impossible to find one to work with us in time. And overall I'm concerned that we will not financially be able to return to Ohio after we move, assuming my husband could even get the time period off and wasn't deployed at that stage.
I'm not sure how to move forward with this. My husband is the plaintiff, and he will most likely not be able to attend the trial. I don't want to just be a no show to our trial date, and another extension will not help us. I don't think they can dismiss an adoption with prejudice, but I'm not sure what to do and I don't trust my lawyer and am about to fire him, but we can't afford a new one. Would it be possible to submit affidavits to the court since we can't physically be there? Or would it be wisest to try and dismiss this case and file it again in our new state after some more time without contact has gone by? I don't want to hurt our case by making a bad move, but we're in a bad situation now and the case seems to be dead in the water at this stage (and I'm not certain, but I believe the background check and home study expires after a certain point in time too).
Any advice or any one who could point me in the right direction of what to try/research, I would greatly appreciate your assistance!
