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Sleeping less in Portland Oregon

Discussion in 'Other Family Law Matters' started by MsLuna, Sep 3, 2007.

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  1. MsLuna

    MsLuna Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I have been living with my boyfriend for over 10 years.
    My sister was killed in a auto accident leaving behind a daughter who is a special needs child due to drugs my sister was on during her pregnancy. Prior to my sister's death her daughter was placed in foster care.

    Sorry this may be a bit lengthy, I want you to understand the whole situation.

    My boyfriend and I did all the necessary things to get my niece out of foster care with strangers and eventually we were made her foster parents. My niece was 6 at that time.
    Even though my boyfriend and I were not married (we planed to marry later down the line) I decided to pursue adoption and my boyfriend thought it was a good idea and decided to co adopt my niece and so we started taking all the classes and hoop jumping.

    I should tell you here that in our relationship he had a well paying job and was the sole provider not really wanting me to go back to work. He is old school and felt he should be able to support us. It has been that way the whole time in our relationship.

    Because the process to adopt takes such a long time, we decided to buy a house together so when we officially had my niece permanently we could all move into the new house together and it would be "our" house. We thought since my niece had been in and out of many foster homes that were unable to handle her disability, everyone moving in the house at the same time might help her feel more secure.

    We found the perfect house to buy, and though it is apparently rare, we were allowed to adopt my niece as a unmarried couple. We left my now daughter's name as my sister gave it to her (she gave my niece her maiden name, she was unmarried and as it happens I was also using my maiden name as well) and my boyfriend and I added his last name to the end of her birth name so she had 2 last names. We were all together and very happy.

    Taking care of a special needs child with multiple issues was and is a lot more difficult then most people can ever imagine, myself included. My "daughter" is now 16 and still needs to be supervised 24/7 since I am the one with her 99% of the time I have gotten use to my new life style. I love her and so I don't mind all the changes over the years.

    I have noticed that more and more over the past few years my boyfriend has gotten less and less helpful with our daughter and has very little if anything to do with our child and when he does interact with her it is only to yell at her and he does that often. He has become very rude to us both. She is unable to articulate and it's hard for her to get across a thought and she repeats herself a lot. She tries really hard, I feel really bad for her.

    He just up and quit his job, He has quit paying all the bills and has informed me he was leaving he wasn't happy and wanted to go to pursue his own happiness and wanted to sell the house and if our daughter and I wanted to stay in the house I needed to buy out his half.

    At this point I don't care what he does but I don't want to loose the house and our security because he is having a mid life crisis. I do get some money for adoption subsidy and could possibly rent out a room. He plans to abandon us after all this time of supporting us by his own choice and leaving us with nothing and possibly homeless as well. Even though we are not married he is legally our daughters father.

    I don't have any idea what to do or what I can do. Can he do this to us under the circumstances? I am really scared and need to know how I can protect my daughter and our home.

    Thank you for any help you can give.

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