Jail Should my daughter visit her mother in jail? Am I handling the situati

[1924]

My wife, who is also mother of my fourteen year old is going to jail for six months for a financial crime. I am willing to stick by her and not leave her because I feel She made some stupid mistakes but it was out of character so I think she just got herself into a bad situation and make some poor decisions, She also never did anything bad at all before this And I am not defending her or saying she should not serve her punishment. Also, her mother is showing regret and no defense at what she did . I am thinking of letting my daughter visit her and have her still be involved with her child because she was never an absent or abusive parent or anything. Some might say sticking by her is being enabling but I just cannot agree

Here is how I am dealing with the situation. I told my daughter right away that her mom got in trouble with the law and now is going to jail for six months. She made some bad decisions and is serving her punishment now.

Her mother is also being honest with her and explaining exactly what will happen. Main intent is not to treat my daughter like a baby in this situation, also make it clear that we will continue living life normally while she is away. I heard this comment "when a family member goes to jail it feels like the whole family is in jail". I am not following that at all


I was thinking of allowing my daughter to visit her. But I am not sure if I should because I don't think my daughter to be exposed to a prison environment. It is nothing to do with the mother is solely the environment. Also I hear it is a hassle to get in and you don't even get much time to speak. Seeing her mom there might be a bad image

My daughter seems to be taking it fine , she said it is kind of cool that her mother is locked up and is now the one being ordered around by others. This is weird because she never had a bad relationship with her mother. I asked what she meant and she said she was just joking. I think that is OK to try to crack a joke to make the situation feel less bad and that a better way of handing the situation instead of being hysterical about it.



some say you should not tell her and make up some story to explain her absence. Others say it is best to tell her and involve her from the beginning. Which is right?


also I am wondering if visits would be appropriate when she goes. I was thinking of allowing my daughter to visit her. But I am not sure if I should because my daughter beeing in a prison could be scary or traumatizing. It is nothing to do with the mother is solely the environment. Also I hear it is a hassle to get in and you don't even get much time to speak. Seeing her mom there might be a bad image. Also seeing other inmates behind glass and even police officers could be intimidating to a 14 year old.

what other things should be done to prepare. Obviously everyone needs to prepare , my wife must prepare to actually be going there while me and my daughter must prepare how we are going to live and how things are done during her absence. What is a good way to do this? Luckily there is still time to prepare. She hasn't gone yet. My wife has been saying bring her if she wants to but don't if she doesn't

 

[Proserpina]

Call the prison and ask about what, if any, family visitation facilities are present. In some, it's literally akin to a daycare center. Others, not so much. Ask the questions before you go - maybe they can show you around the visitation area so you can see for yourself beforehand?

This isn't so much a legal question as one of how you want to deal with the issue as a parent.

Forewarned is forearmed

 

[army judge]

I suggest you speak with a child psychologist, psychiatrist, pediatrician, therapist, pastor, minister, imam, rabbi, or other trusted counselor.

This is a legal forum.
The only advice I could offer is that as her father, the choice is YOURS to make.
If I were in YOUR position, I'd decide against permitting my 14 year old child to visit ANY prison.
If I were YOUR wife, I'd advise my husband NOT to bring our child to prison.
I'd encourage her to write to mom, but prison is a vile place populated by evil, wretched people.
Not all are that way, but many are.
Most have stumbled and will recover and rebuild.
But, prisons or jails are no place for children to visit.
You might want to investigate video visits.
Some facilities, especially in your state offer video chats.
Heck, even a couple telephone calls would help.
But to physically allow my child into that environment, no way.
Good luck as you decide what's best for your family.
I also commend you on your willingness to hold your family together.
God bless.