Seperated from husband who is in Army and I want full custody

[cglortiz]

Hi this is a long story that I will make short as possible. My husband and I have a 6 year old and 9 month old together. He is in the Army and had an affair with a female soldier. He chose to be with her instead of us. At the time I found out the affair he was in Iraq, and I was 9 months pregnant. When he returned, he did not want anything to do with the baby, and would visit with the 6 year old. This has gone on for the last 5 months, and still wants nothing much to do with the baby. We have our court date for child support set for June and I am wondering if he would sign his rights away for the baby. He never asks about him, visits with him maybe once a month for about 5 minutes, and is a very bad alcoholic. As of last week, he got a DWI, so this would make it his second offense. I am afraid he will drink and drive with the baby, and our 6 year old. I would not like him to sign his rights away to the 6 year old, because he loves his daddy, and I dont want to hurt my son. My ex threatens to take both the children from me since Im not working. I am not working because the baby is constantly sick and I cannot get a job if I will be calling in all the time. I have had to move in with my parents with my children, since he refused to give money to assist with rent, even though the Army pays for it. I called and told on him to his commander, and pretty much, they didnt care, and said he is only obligated to pay me $600 a month. So we were evicted, and I had to move in with my parents. The ex is wanting the baby, I assume, just so it will hurt me. He lives with 2 other soldiers, and is still with the female soldier he had an affair with. He has no furniture, no bed, nothing for the children to sleep on. He says hes the father, and he can put the kids whereever he wants. He sleeps on an airbed and puts the 6 year old there when he stays. Very seldom does he pick up the 6 year old, but its always on his time, after he has partied and sobered up. Normally coming around 4pm on Saturday and already wanting to drop him off at 10 am the following morning. I think this is very unfair to the children, and if he wants visitation of the 6 year old, he needs to maintain a certain schedule, which he refuses. As for the baby, do I have any way of getting him to sign his rights away on the baby? Thank you.

 

[Duranie]

He cannot sign his rights over, unless you are remarried and your husband adopts. His affair is pretty much irrelevant. The courts are not going to aloow him to sign away rights. If he wants to use, or not use his visitation that is totally up to him.
Also he is not required to use his visits. The courts are going to encourage some sort of relationship with the kids.

 

[seffysmiles]

I know you are in a tough spot. In there myself. My advice to you is to hang in there. Duranie is right he can't give up rights to the baby unless you are remarried and the husband wants to adopt. In the courts eyes there has to be a legal father. As far as the threats don't listen to it. I know it's hard, but it is for the best. Try to encourage a relationship with the baby but don't expect. If he's not taking his weekends don't complain. It could be a lot worse. Keep everything on record. I mean everything. Keep a journal of visits times picked up dropped off. Any mean or threatening emails/texts keep for future court date if it ever comes up. My advice is if you are living with your parents try to get a job and work with them on helping you for daycare. Try and focus your attention on the kids and what is best for them. They need structure, don't depend on x. Give them what they need. All the best!