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Seeking Out-of–State move PRIOR to serving for divorce. Advice?

Discussion in 'Divorce, Separation, Annulment' started by prismpic, Feb 29, 2012.

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  1. prismpic

    prismpic Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Seeking Out-of–State move PRIOR to DIVORCE

    My spouse is the primary financial provider for your 2 kids (6 and 13)and household. This is a major factor in my hesitating the pursuite of a divorce. I want to move out-of-state with children. Things are currently amicable between us, having no disputes but no sex, I just have no more feelings for the man except pity. As it stands he has an upcoming 2 year project upcoming which would be out of the country. I would like to use that absence as an opportunity to move closer to family (to another state) while we are still married and we can agree to it. I want to avoid him oppposing because of a divorce. Any advise on the best way for this would be appreciated.
     
    Last edited: Feb 29, 2012
  2. disagreeable

    disagreeable Well-Known Member

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    I doubt anyone is going to advise you on how to take your kids away from a parent most effectively. Work out your plans with your hubby. It sounds like he has the worst end of the deal since he has an immoral spouse who is going to use him for his money and take away his kids. Nothing like loyalty in a marriage.
     
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  3. prismpic

    prismpic Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Pardon me but he got rid of loyalty some time ago. This man had child with another woman outside of our marriage, not to mention a “friend” who kept leaving me messages hinting infidelity and his drunken weekends away from home.

    I supposed without that background I would appear the worst of both, or who knows…maybe the student surpasses the teacher now. Anyway, my desire is NOT for him to ever see his children again but to stop making others happy while he leaves away for work (as he done in the past) and I have to stay behind without family to moraly support me.

    Someone once told me divorce should be looked at like a business transaction without too much emphasis on emotions, maybe that was wrong???
     
    Last edited: Feb 29, 2012
  4. Proserpina

    Proserpina Moderator

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    Which country is he moving to?

    There is a reason I'm asking.
     
  5. disagreeable

    disagreeable Well-Known Member

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    A business transaction is not theft. It is a mutually agreed upon action.
     
  6. Proserpina

    Proserpina Moderator

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    Legal reality:

    The court really has two options. Agree to the relocation, or give custody to the parent who isn't moving out of state.

    If Dad in this case is moving to say, Dubai? The court isn't going to give him custody. They thus have little option but to allow the move.

    If Dad is moving to the UK, he could feasibly get custody...but then he'd have to request permission to move the kids not out of state, but out of the country (and thus, if he stays long enough away, into UK jurisdiction).

    See how that's going to play out?

    A choice between keeping the kids in the US or risking Dad not returning the kids and a contentious and costly Hague battle?

    No-brainer for the court.

    Now, please note that I have not - and will not - comment on whether I personally think that's fair to Dad. But, it IS the legal reality.
     
  7. prismpic

    prismpic Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Athough he is the primary provider it does NOT mean he's the SOLE provider. Our arrangement for years has beeen I pay for the mortgage, family health insurance, my gasoline, cel phone & own miscellaneous. He pays for home bills (phone, water, light, gas, food, cable, kids lessons, his car note), but I make my own $ and get no monies from him.

    My optimal cause for seeking a friendly move prior to divorce is this: IF I don’t there is a very high chance he will not agree to it then move alone to another country. My children and I will be stuck in an un- ideal situation (without family) where he won’t even be around for his children. Without any irony, could there be any legal fairness in that?
     
  8. Proserpina

    Proserpina Moderator

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    We can't predict whether or not he'll be all nice and friendly about you wanting to move out of state.

    But I'm not sure you actually understood what I was saying in my previous post. No matter WHEN you decide to request permission from the court, what I said in that post applies. Dad can object all he wants - but the reality is that if he IS actually moving to a different country, it would be incredibly difficult to convince the court that you shouldn't be allowed to relocate with the kids.

    In my opinion.
     
  9. prismpic

    prismpic Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I realize guessing really doesn't help, but the opposition is all over the walls. Recently when discussing our relationship he expressed that before him agreeing to dissolving this he rather hang himself.

    Of course this produces fear in me, I feel trapped and even responsible. Because of this I fear he could snap some day and produce harm to us all. Now he has never been violent but the fact that he voiced that threat has me on pins and needles.
     
  10. disagreeable

    disagreeable Well-Known Member

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    I am going to withdraw from this thread. I think you attempt to be a very manipulative person. First you claim you n hubby have no issues except a bad sex life. Then you claim you are an injured spouse because he is a cheating bastard. Now you are claiming you are fearful of your life. You are a very poor manipulator and I pity your husband. He appears to have made a poor choice in selecting you.


     
  11. prismpic

    prismpic Law Topic Starter New Member

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    How is refusing to have sex with a cheater and then becoming sick with him now acting like victim suddenly become manipulating?

    My inquiry here is for real suggestions NOT moral lessons, and BTW I never have referred to him as a "bastard" as you state here.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2012

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