Rights to a child and possibility of custody

[jludley]

Im a father of a child who was born in Germany. I am in Germany at the moment Im in the US Army I have a child who is a year old going to be 2 in june. I wont bring up child support because I know that has nothing to do with getting custody. Although I do pay a very large amount monthly. My sons mother is dictating when I can see my son and when I cant and she is bringing her boyfriend in to it and making him a factor. I have saved conversations between the both of us with different issues with her ex boyfriends one in which for some crazy reason threatened to kill my son, and other issues as far as her playing games with me telling me one thing and doing the other. Now I asked for joint custody but she is denying me of this. She has absolutly no reason for denying me of this I am a 2 time war vet and I work for a living I provide health care and other benefits for my child my montgomery GI bill I plan on giving to my son for college education. This women is a drop out of school has no job and what income she is getting is coming from me and the German Government. I have a good family support system and all she has is her mother and her mother is very sick and has been in and out of the hospital for the past couple years that Ive known her. I want to be with my son and my sons mother is forcing me to take legal action on her because she is in cooperative with me when it comes to issues with my son. Also for some reason my son and I dont know what it is her ex husbands last name is my sons last name. Now I established paternity when I came here to Germany on leave in February of 2007. My name was put as the father on the birth certificate but now all of a sudden that got changed some how and she is not wanting to change my sons name. This is the immaturity that I am dealing with. What can I do?