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Reproductive Coercion? Sabotaging/Lying about birth control Sex Crimes, Sex Offenders

Discussion in 'Criminal Charges' started by Stomachbuzz, Mar 2, 2022.

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  1. Stomachbuzz

    Stomachbuzz Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jurisdiction:
    Maryland
    I've been searching for this and am baffled I can't find much of anything.

    Even in the most extreme case of poking holes in a condom, I can't find this sort of thing illegal anywhere!

    Is this true?
    If someone lies to you about birth control, or sabotages it, then you are having sex under false pretenses.
    Getting [someone] pregnant on purpose, without their consent, depriving them of their reproductive autonomy.

    I'm in complete disbelief.
    If someone knowingly has an STD, and doesn't tell you about it prior to having sex, that's illegal.
    If someone lies or uses deception to receive property/money then that's fraud or theft.

    How is this huge area left completely unprotected?
     
  2. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    That made me chuckle.
     
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  3. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    Did this happen to you or are you just here to vent about the topic?

    You do know that you can utilize your own birth control? You could (gasp!!) even refrain from intercourse until you are ready to have a child with a partner you approve of.
     
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  4. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    As you were (or should have been) taught in basic biology, no method of birth control is 100% effective. You may be inclined to include abstinence, and I would agree with that. I know this is anecdotal, but I know of an instance where the people involved didn't quite consummate the act, yet a pregnancy occurred.

    When you have sex, you accept the possibility of a pregnancy.

    With that said, what you described may, in fact, be a crime in some jurisdictions.
     
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  5. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    It was a Law and Order SVU episode. ;)
     
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  6. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    I didn't know that.
     
  7. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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  8. Stomachbuzz

    Stomachbuzz Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Yes, this did happen to me.

    Please refrain from the "haha wrap your willy, silly!" comments as they contribute nothing to the discussion.

    Here are the facts:
    I had a conversation with someone about sex, pregnancy, birth control and etc.
    We made an agreement.
    I made certain actions based on that agreement and the risks of that agreement.
    I later found out the person purposely failed their end of the agreement and sabotaged birth control to get pregnant intentionally.

    If I had known the truth - regardless if it was "oops, I missed a few days of the pill" or "I PURPOSELY didn't take it" - I would have acted differently.
    I was denied the opportunity and decision to choose a different action/behavior.

    Again, while this is less likely with condoms, this could certainly still happen. Such as poking holes in a condom or otherwise sabotaging it.
    Also, please stop assuming it was the man who made "the mistake". It could also be a woman who was victim to a man sabotaging birth control. Poking holes in a condom or even as far as swapping her BC pills with fakes.
    This isn't as immature as "wear a condom, ya dummy!"

    In short, I made the mistake of trusting my partner.
     
  9. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    If you CHOOSE to be CELIBATE, no one can lie to you about having a DISEASE(S).

    Restraint or ABSTINENCE in ALL THINGS is the BEST way to protect yourself.

    If you CHOOSE to engage in sexual activities there MIGHT be life changing (perhaps ENDING) repercussions!

    People lie.

    Only YOU can protect YOU!
     
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  10. Stomachbuzz

    Stomachbuzz Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thank you for the advice in how to move forward with this legal matter. It is greatly appreciated...
     
  11. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    If you didn't want a child then YOU should have used birth control. Blaming someone else because you were irresponsible is immature.

    When I made my first post on this thread I actually thought you were a woman. But the same advice applies to both men and woman...Don't want a child? Take control of your own BC or refrain from intercourse.
     
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  12. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    https://www.cdc.gov/std/program/final-std-statutesall-states-5june-2014.pdf

    Rape by Deception


    Comment:

    Even if your sexual partner lied LIED, proving the lie (lies) becomes difficult, perhaps IMPOSSIBLE.

    Restraint, abstinence, celibacy is the ONLY sure fire way to avoid disease or impregnation.

    Some people CHOOSE other self help remedies.
     
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  13. Stomachbuzz

    Stomachbuzz Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I just cannot emphasize enough how disinterested and distracting it is to continue to discuss irrelevant details/facts.
    What I could have, should have done is not of relevance here.

    Again, I repeat, this is deception. I was lied to.
    This was not an assumption I made. "She looks like she's on birth control, so I won't ask."
    This was not some irresponsible game I played.
    I had a conversation. I tried to be responsible.
    I had an extended relationship with this woman. We were sexually involved for 11 months. We had conversation to change BC methods around month 2. Everything was fine for ~9 months.
    Suddenly, she became pregnant. I discovered after the fact, partially by her admission to me personally, partially by her indirect statements, and partially her statements to others, that she did it on purpose to trap me or force herself into "having a family".

    In short, she used me as a sperm donor against my will.

    Stop focusing on the fact that I "could have" done more. That is not relevant.
    Imagine I used 2, 3, 4, however many you want to make yourself content with my actions, forms of birth control and she sabotaged all of them.
    It doesn't matter.

    What matters is she lied to me, misled me, and manipulated my behaviors/actions.

    What this conversation is turning into is the equivalent of asking a mechanic "hey you tightened my lug nuts, right?"
    They smile and say "yup!"
    Then you drive away, your loose lug nuts fly off, causing your wheels to fly off, causing several accidents and injuries.

    And everyone replies "WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU CHECK THE LUG NUTS YOURSELF, DUMMY??"
     
  14. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    That's exactly what it's about.

    Carry your own, use your own. Don't leave them unattended.
     
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  15. Stomachbuzz

    Stomachbuzz Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Great, thank you. If I come across a time machine, I'll be sure to use your advice.

    I'll tell rape victims the same thing.
    "Shouldn't have worn that skirt and gotten drunk..."
     
  16. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    I'm not sure I'm entirely following this, but the answer to the above question is that, if no laws exist with respect to a particular situation, it's because the legislature hasn't enacted a law, and that's because either the legislature never considered it or did consider it and decided not to enact such a law.

    Given some of the crazy arguments that have gained traction in this area, it wouldn't surprise me at all if someone claimed rape because the consent was based on the use of birth control, and lying about the birth control negated the consent.

    What were the terms of the agreement?

    What were those actions?

    So...I think what you're saying is that you and a girl were discussing the possibility of sex. You inquired if she was using birth control, and she falsely claimed she was, and the result was that she got pregnant. Is that about it?

    So...what legal result are you looking for?
     
  17. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Has a paternity test been requested or accomplished?

    Unless PATERNITY is established by scientific testing (as in a paternity test), the ONLY conclusions one can draw about a baby is that it had to have been created by a female being inseminated.

    It takes a male and a female to procreate, despite what some might say.
    Procreation need NOT be accomplished by intercourse these days.
    As with farm animals, artificial insemination is an option.

    Unless and until paternity testing identifies YOU as the father, the child isn't yours notwithstanding the words anyone chooses to use.

    No need to become rankled and riled, mate.

    All you need to do is request a paternity test.

    If you and the female weren't married, the child isn't LEGALLY yours no matter what the female and her supporters might say.
     
  18. retic

    retic Member

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    Doubtful, it looks like mom is still in her first trimester.

    IANAL but... you wanted legal advice. Ok, I'll give it a go.

    Find a good family law attorney. File for the paternity test/custody/visitation/etc. after the child is born; court orders protect you.

    Do a search on "MD child support calculator" using your favorite search engine, and figure out now how to adjust your monthly budget to compensate.

    Hopefully you don't have any other financial entanglements with mom, e.g. you're not living together and on the same lease, because it sounds like you aren't going to maintain any kind of relationship with someone who you can no longer trust.

    As was said above, unless and until there's a child support order in place, you don't have to pay a dime to mom.

    Going forward, to ensure this doesn't happen again, you should assume that every woman who graces your bed 1) is not on birth control and 2) is at her most fertile time of the month. So, either get a vasectomy or use a condom every. single. time.

    Unless, of course, you'd like to end up with a second child support order, because you don't control her eggs and her fertility, she does, so all you can control are your swimmers.

    (Not legal advice) Bear in mind that if she actually is pregnant and carries the baby to term, that child did not ask to be brought into this situation. Frankly I feel sorry for it. If you are mad at mom, then be mad at mom, but don't take your ire out on the child.
     
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  19. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    Don't expect any sympathy here after that moronic remark.
     
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  20. Paddywakk

    Paddywakk Member

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    I'll tell you what I told my kids - don't let anyone else be in charge of YOUR birth control.
     
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