OhioHillbilly
New Member
Geetings!
Mother died last December. Dad is close to 90, enfeebled and suffers from loss of memory and has to have considerable help from day to day. Several years ago, at mom's request, my sister A was given what I think was unbounded POA in regards to dad's money and all matters financial - CDs, bank accounts, bill paying, etc. I also think A was given sweeping decision-making powers in all health matters relating to dad by way of another legal instrument, the name of which escapes me. I live in NY and have just retired, and A, who lives less than a quarter mile from dad in Ohio, is in charge of taking care of him. She has a crew of people, including several of mother's friends, A's two daughters and A herself, that she schedules to help take care of dad. The person on night duty often stays and sleeps in the house overnight. My sister B used to help, but both A & B pretty much hate each other.
I don't know how much dad is worth, but he was financially successful, very much so, and I don't know how much he has left because my sister won't tell B or me, or anyone else as far as I know. Over the past three or four years, while mom was alive and after she died, A and her husband have been building a big horse facility, like a big barn/arena, in which they plan to hold horse competitions, shows, and the like, and also plan to room and board horses and give riding lessons. I've seen it, it's beautiful and it has great potential for making money.
My suspicion is that A is spending - has spent - a lot of dad's money to build the arena, stalls, a well, pastures and corrals. A lot of it has been reduced labor costs, as they've engaged friends to do much of the work. When I ask A about dad's money, she says its none of my business of just sloughs my questionn off. Mom, while she was living, also helped out financially in A's venture. I was even excited about it and saw great potential in it but didn't invest in it as I was nearing retirement and was risk-adverse.
I think the whole venture, almost all of it, or the lion's share of it, is being and has been funded by dad's money. I have in my possession a year's worth of copies of bank statements from maybe three of Dad's accounts, but haven't yet had time to go over them to see if they could be used to bring to light a substantiation of how A has used dad's money. My sister B, who gave me the copies, has gone over this material and thinks it's clear that A is using dad's money in a self-serving manner. A and her husband have little money of their own and were nearly always financially squeezed. He's been in and out of work for a span of time though of late is employed. A told me some time ago that they mortgaged their house, but I don't know if this is a fact or not. The business is bringing in very little money but isn't yet making a profit, and I think it will take some time before they realize a profit. Yet they continue to buy vehicles and equipment, continue building what appears to be an expensive building (it's not yet finished), and they continue to take vacations. I've asked A to see dad's bank book, but she consistently refuses. I've ask for an accounting of dad's financial status on several occasions, but to no avail. Years ago, mom had dad open up a payable-on-death CD, or whatever it's called, for almost everyone of the six of us, including A if my memory serves me. I know I was such a beneficiary designate because mom told me so, but I fear it no longer exists in my name if it exists at all, and I think the CDs set aside for the others have also been dissolved. I've asked to see mine but haven't yet seen it. I may, however, have a copy of it in my possession. I'll search for it soon. I may then be able to check to see if it still exists.
A is embittered mainly because decades ago she was thrown out of the family business even though she was quite good at it and was truly an asset to the business. It was very unfair to A, and my belief is that she was a victim of dad's male chauvinism, as our youngest brother got the business lock, stock and barrel. She riles against dad for doing this, and now, in a position of power by way of POA, it appears she feels entitled to his money, especially since she has overall responsibility of providing and supervising care giving for him. Her wages and her two girls' wages for providing such support appear to be all of dad's money.
Four years or more before mom passed away, Mom had dad put their house in a survivorship deed with her, dad, me and my brother C on it. Mom has since died, leaving dad, C and me on the deed. A now wants to be on the deed and has gone to her lawyer to get this done. I'm resisting this but don't know the legalities of adding someone else to a survivorship deed especially if the added person is married. I want to protect the survivorship deed from encumbrances while I'm on the deed. I don't know if the deed can be protected from becoming a marital asset if we bring a married person onto the deed. I don't know if somebody already on the deed can will or bequeath his or her interest in the house to someone else. I don't know if adding someone else to the deed would take the concurrence of everyone already on the deed, in this case dad (via A via her POA), my brother C and me, or if a majority concurrence would be sufficient. My hope is that if I don't want her on the deed, then she can't get on it, of if she can be put on it over my veto so to speak, I alone can have another sister put on it to weaken A's position of being on the deed. So it seems that the house is in jeopardy of being taken over and/or controlled by A, who, I now have reason to believe, wants her newly wedded daughter to live in the house, along with her daughter's husband I'd presume.
My only objective right now is to get an accounting of dad's financial situation. I don't know if dad has enough money to last him for how long, and I think it my business to know this because if he runs out of money because of what A is doing, it will certainly impact me and B at the very least because I retired with money enough for me and for helping out my sister B and her son, who is wheel chaired for life, and I wouldn't have enough money to take care of dad, who certainly used to have plenty of money to get him through old age.
Is A's secrecy legally justified? Doesn't her behavior suggest that she is being self-serving in the use of dad's money? Without hurting A and her family, I want to force her hand in giving me and my other sisters and brothers an accounting of what's been spent and what's left. Is this an unreasonable request? I don't think so. Is this a hopeless case legally speaking? I suppose it is. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated, even if they dictate against my pursuing this maddening affair.
Sincerely,
OhioHillbilly, aka Jakebabe
P.S. And yet, what if A's venture suddenly blossomed into glorious profitability? Wouldn't I be the sorriest sucker for hindering it!
P.P.S. I have a bad feeling that if my complaint was found to have merit and I started down Litigation Road and A is found to be in abuse of the POA given her, this whole thing would snowball out of control and I wouldn't be able to stop it where I wanted it to stop and my sister A and her family would be terribly hurt.
Mother died last December. Dad is close to 90, enfeebled and suffers from loss of memory and has to have considerable help from day to day. Several years ago, at mom's request, my sister A was given what I think was unbounded POA in regards to dad's money and all matters financial - CDs, bank accounts, bill paying, etc. I also think A was given sweeping decision-making powers in all health matters relating to dad by way of another legal instrument, the name of which escapes me. I live in NY and have just retired, and A, who lives less than a quarter mile from dad in Ohio, is in charge of taking care of him. She has a crew of people, including several of mother's friends, A's two daughters and A herself, that she schedules to help take care of dad. The person on night duty often stays and sleeps in the house overnight. My sister B used to help, but both A & B pretty much hate each other.
I don't know how much dad is worth, but he was financially successful, very much so, and I don't know how much he has left because my sister won't tell B or me, or anyone else as far as I know. Over the past three or four years, while mom was alive and after she died, A and her husband have been building a big horse facility, like a big barn/arena, in which they plan to hold horse competitions, shows, and the like, and also plan to room and board horses and give riding lessons. I've seen it, it's beautiful and it has great potential for making money.
My suspicion is that A is spending - has spent - a lot of dad's money to build the arena, stalls, a well, pastures and corrals. A lot of it has been reduced labor costs, as they've engaged friends to do much of the work. When I ask A about dad's money, she says its none of my business of just sloughs my questionn off. Mom, while she was living, also helped out financially in A's venture. I was even excited about it and saw great potential in it but didn't invest in it as I was nearing retirement and was risk-adverse.
I think the whole venture, almost all of it, or the lion's share of it, is being and has been funded by dad's money. I have in my possession a year's worth of copies of bank statements from maybe three of Dad's accounts, but haven't yet had time to go over them to see if they could be used to bring to light a substantiation of how A has used dad's money. My sister B, who gave me the copies, has gone over this material and thinks it's clear that A is using dad's money in a self-serving manner. A and her husband have little money of their own and were nearly always financially squeezed. He's been in and out of work for a span of time though of late is employed. A told me some time ago that they mortgaged their house, but I don't know if this is a fact or not. The business is bringing in very little money but isn't yet making a profit, and I think it will take some time before they realize a profit. Yet they continue to buy vehicles and equipment, continue building what appears to be an expensive building (it's not yet finished), and they continue to take vacations. I've asked A to see dad's bank book, but she consistently refuses. I've ask for an accounting of dad's financial status on several occasions, but to no avail. Years ago, mom had dad open up a payable-on-death CD, or whatever it's called, for almost everyone of the six of us, including A if my memory serves me. I know I was such a beneficiary designate because mom told me so, but I fear it no longer exists in my name if it exists at all, and I think the CDs set aside for the others have also been dissolved. I've asked to see mine but haven't yet seen it. I may, however, have a copy of it in my possession. I'll search for it soon. I may then be able to check to see if it still exists.
A is embittered mainly because decades ago she was thrown out of the family business even though she was quite good at it and was truly an asset to the business. It was very unfair to A, and my belief is that she was a victim of dad's male chauvinism, as our youngest brother got the business lock, stock and barrel. She riles against dad for doing this, and now, in a position of power by way of POA, it appears she feels entitled to his money, especially since she has overall responsibility of providing and supervising care giving for him. Her wages and her two girls' wages for providing such support appear to be all of dad's money.
Four years or more before mom passed away, Mom had dad put their house in a survivorship deed with her, dad, me and my brother C on it. Mom has since died, leaving dad, C and me on the deed. A now wants to be on the deed and has gone to her lawyer to get this done. I'm resisting this but don't know the legalities of adding someone else to a survivorship deed especially if the added person is married. I want to protect the survivorship deed from encumbrances while I'm on the deed. I don't know if the deed can be protected from becoming a marital asset if we bring a married person onto the deed. I don't know if somebody already on the deed can will or bequeath his or her interest in the house to someone else. I don't know if adding someone else to the deed would take the concurrence of everyone already on the deed, in this case dad (via A via her POA), my brother C and me, or if a majority concurrence would be sufficient. My hope is that if I don't want her on the deed, then she can't get on it, of if she can be put on it over my veto so to speak, I alone can have another sister put on it to weaken A's position of being on the deed. So it seems that the house is in jeopardy of being taken over and/or controlled by A, who, I now have reason to believe, wants her newly wedded daughter to live in the house, along with her daughter's husband I'd presume.
My only objective right now is to get an accounting of dad's financial situation. I don't know if dad has enough money to last him for how long, and I think it my business to know this because if he runs out of money because of what A is doing, it will certainly impact me and B at the very least because I retired with money enough for me and for helping out my sister B and her son, who is wheel chaired for life, and I wouldn't have enough money to take care of dad, who certainly used to have plenty of money to get him through old age.
Is A's secrecy legally justified? Doesn't her behavior suggest that she is being self-serving in the use of dad's money? Without hurting A and her family, I want to force her hand in giving me and my other sisters and brothers an accounting of what's been spent and what's left. Is this an unreasonable request? I don't think so. Is this a hopeless case legally speaking? I suppose it is. Any words of wisdom would be appreciated, even if they dictate against my pursuing this maddening affair.
Sincerely,
OhioHillbilly, aka Jakebabe
P.S. And yet, what if A's venture suddenly blossomed into glorious profitability? Wouldn't I be the sorriest sucker for hindering it!
P.P.S. I have a bad feeling that if my complaint was found to have merit and I started down Litigation Road and A is found to be in abuse of the POA given her, this whole thing would snowball out of control and I wouldn't be able to stop it where I wanted it to stop and my sister A and her family would be terribly hurt.
