Please help with Custody Question

[Tdog198054]

Jurisdiction

New York

Hello, My wife and I are still legally married but live in different states. I live in NY. She lives in NC. My wife has left my 12 year old son with her father and taken off for over 5 months now. Their is no Court order for my son. So I assume we both have custody? His grandmother wants to put him on a plane and fly him here to NY were his grandmother and I live in separate houses. I will meet him at the airport and take him home. Then immediately file for Custody. Can I do this legally?

 

[Zigner]

Hello, My wife and I are still legally married but live in different states. I live in NY. She lives in NC. My wife has left my 12 year old son with her father and taken off for over 5 months now. Their is no Court order for my son. So I assume we both have custody? His grandmother wants to put him on a plane and fly him here to NY were his grandmother and I live in separate houses. I will meet him at the airport and take him home. Then immediately file for Custody. Can I do this legally?

There is nothing illegal about the boy coming to live with you. You cannot file "immediately" for custody, as New York does not have jurisdiction over the matter until the boy establishes legal residency in New York.

Legislation

 

[zddoodah]

Yes. The law has nothing to say about the living arrangements of married persons and their children.

 

[Tdog198054]

Yes. The law has nothing to say about the living arrangements of married persons and their children.

Thank You so much. It is legal. Amen. My mother n laws lawyer told her to let her know once we have him here in NY and she will draw up papers once he is a resident here like you said. This is great news.

 

[Zigner]

Thank You so much. It is legal. Amen. My mother n laws lawyer told her to let her know once we have him here in NY and she will draw up papers once he is a resident here like you said. This is great news.

The child's "home state" will be NC until the child has lived with you in New York for at least 6 consecutive months.

 

[Tdog198054]

The child's "home state" will be NC until the child has lived with you in New York for at least 6 consecutive months.

Wow 6 months. Is their any type of custody I can get to keep him safely in NY right away??? What if his mother comes and tries to get him from school or something?

 

[Zigner]

Wow 6 months. Is their any type of custody I can get to keep him safely in NY right away??? What if his mother comes and tries to get him from school or something?

With no court orders in place, each parent is considered to have equal custody rights. Yes, mom could come get kiddo from school and you could do the same. Hopefully, one (or both) of you will consider the child to be more than just a human yo-yo.

 

[Tdog198054]

With no court orders in place, each parent is considered to have equal custody rights. Yes, mom could come get kiddo from school and you could do the same. Hopefully, one (or both) of you will consider the child to be more than just a human yo-yo.

Its not me who has done this. Iv'e been battling in court trying to get custody of him for a while now. She is a drug addict. Not a good person. She is a convicted felon. It's not my fault courts favor women. Especially when they have physical custody of the child. Posseision is 9/10ths of the law right? Certainly seems that way in NC. This is the 3rd child of ours that she has abandonded. I just want him to be safe and secure. His grand father is to old and has health issues. Thats why he is telling me to come get him. And I am. Its the right thing to do as his father. I appreciate all your help Thank You. I'm really not worried that she will come all the way to NY from NC. She's to worried about her drug habit anyway.

 

[Zigner]

Its not me who has done this. Iv'e been battling in court trying to get custody of him for a while now. She is a drug addict. Not a good person. She is a convicted felon. It's not my fault courts favor women. Especially when they have physical custody of the child. Posseision is 9/10ths of the law right? Certainly seems that way in NC. This is the 3rd child of ours that she has abandonded. I just want him to be safe and secure. His grand father is to old and has health issues. Thats why he is telling me to come get him. And I am. Its the right thing to do as his father. I appreciate all your help Thank You. I'm really not worried that she will come all the way to NY from NC. She's to worried about her drug habit anyway.

Since most of this is a rant because you're on the defensive, I'll just address a legal point that you are wrong about. It is a fallacy to think that "Possession is 9/10ths of the law". It is legally (and factually) not true.

 

[retic]

Its not me who has done this. Iv'e been battling in court trying to get custody of him for a while now. She is a drug addict. Not a good person. She is a convicted felon. It's not my fault courts favor women. Especially when they have physical custody of the child. Posseision is 9/10ths of the law right? Certainly seems that way in NC. This is the 3rd child of ours that she has abandonded. I just want him to be safe and secure. His grand father is to old and has health issues. Thats why he is telling me to come get him. And I am. Its the right thing to do as his father. I appreciate all your help Thank You. I'm really not worried that she will come all the way to NY from NC. She's to worried about her drug habit anyway.

Where are your other two children?

 

[Red Kayak]

The child's "home state" will be NC until the child has lived with you in New York for at least 6 consecutive months.

Child has not lived in NC for 6 consecutive months. Perhaps Dad should file for divorce in NY before mom establishes residency elsewhere.

 

[leslie82]

Hello, My wife and I are still legally married but live in different states. I live in NY. She lives in NC. My wife has left my 12 year old son with her father and taken off for over 5 months now. Their is no Court order for my son. So I assume we both have custody? His grandmother wants to put him on a plane and fly him here to NY were his grandmother and I live in separate houses. I will meet him at the airport and take him home. Then immediately file for Custody. Can I do this legally?

If you guys are married - you both have 50/50 custody. If there's no court order granting any legal custody to the grandparents, you can go and get your son and bring him home with you. However, she (your wife) can then show up at any moment and take your son with her. So - if I was you I'd think about perhaps rethinking your marital arrangement if you two aren't even living together anymore. And yes you should see about custody so she can't just show up whenever she feels like it and disrupt his life.

 

[leslie82]

Its not me who has done this. Iv'e been battling in court trying to get custody of him for a while now. She is a drug addict. Not a good person. She is a convicted felon. It's not my fault courts favor women. Especially when they have physical custody of the child. Posseision is 9/10ths of the law right? Certainly seems that way in NC. This is the 3rd child of ours that she has abandonded. I just want him to be safe and secure. His grand father is to old and has health issues. Thats why he is telling me to come get him. And I am. Its the right thing to do as his father. I appreciate all your help Thank You. I'm really not worried that she will come all the way to NY from NC. She's to worried about her drug habit anyway.

I'll stop you right there because the courts do not "favor" women. That's not really true anymore - and also realize that it's men who created the family court system. If you really wanna blame anyone about women getting custody more when divorces started to be more acceptable.

There's plenty of evidence that actually shows the opposite of what you believe and, add in, that if a woman brings up abuse against her and/or the kids she will typically lose custody.

"Possession is 9/10ths of the law." You don't own your children. They aren't property so no possession is not 9/10ths of the law. You can't legally own people in this country.

Why didn't you go get your son sooner? Why wait 5 months? You need to do whatever this lawyer you mentioned says.

 

[Zigner]

Child has not lived in NC for 6 consecutive months. Perhaps Dad should file for divorce in NY before mom establishes residency elsewhere.

I don't see where it was stated that the child hasn't lived in NC for 6 consecutive months...

 

[Tdog198054]

I really appreciate everybodys input. Thank You. I have filed for divorce. My son is now living with me in NY. I got him. I am filing for custody tomorrow. Courts are closed now. I have my other 2 kids with me already. And have for years. My wife is curently a drug addict. She wasn't when we were together. As far as I know.. My wife took off with him months ago and Iv'e been looking for him this whole. time. My father n law did a lot of lying to me. But finally realized that his daughter "is indeed" a drug addict and contacted me when she abandoned my son and left him with his grandfather, my father n law. Besides filing for Full custody of my son tomorrow is their anything else I should do? I just got my son today. So no he hasn't lived in NY with me for 6 months. Yes he did live in NC for over 6 months. And bounced around a lot. But only In NC.

I have a lawyer drawing up papers. She stated we need to change the jurisdiction to here right away. jurisdiction

My son says not been in any form of school setting whatsoever since December.

I'm very happy I can provide him with the stability he needs now.

 

[Zigner]

The New York courts do not seem to have jurisdiction at this time. You state that you have an attorney - there really is no reason for us to comment further.

 

[Red Kayak]

I don't see where it was stated that the child hasn't lived in NC for 6 consecutive months...

He initially said that his wife had left just over 5 months ago.

The New York courts do not seem to have jurisdiction at this time. You state that you have an attorney - there really is no reason for us to comment further.

Details matter, including the county.

But we can both agree that his attorney should have better insight into how to navigate this situation than strangers on an internet forum.

 

[Zigner]

He initially said that his wife had left just over 5 months ago.

No, he said that his wife dropped the kid off with grandpa and left 5 months ago. That meant to me (and was later confirmed by the OP) that the mom and child lived in New York and that the child was left with grandpa, also in New York, 5 months ago.
EDIT: I mean that mom and child and grandpa lived in NC, not New York.

Details matter, including the county.

But we can both agree that his attorney should have better insight into how to navigate this situation than strangers on an internet forum.

Absolutely.

 

[mightymoose]

Wow 6 months. Is their any type of custody I can get to keep him safely in NY right away??? What if his mother comes and tries to get him from school or something?

You are his father. You already have custody. So long as you do not do anything to deliberately restrict mom's access to him, do what you want.