Please Help Me!

[Sierra929]

I need help ASAP. I am 21 years old and married, On September 29,2006 I had a baby girl and she was adopted by my former Cosmetology teacher and her husband. They could not have children because he had a vasectomy and they were very close to me. Until I was 7 months pregnant I had every intention of keeping my daughter and raising her to the best of my ability. I was very excited and so was my family until one day I was talking to my mom, she had told me that if i didn't think i could do it did i know anyone who would adopt? the reason she asked is because i was depressed and having a bad day, i was depressed and stressed most of my pregnancy because the father of the baby was not fit. he is bipolar and frequently yelled at me and was close to hitting me a few times. i had left him and he drove past my house at least 3 times a day and would slow down and beep or if i was outside he would give me the finger. i was very scared that he would get custody on weekends and i did not want that. i called my teacher because i knew that the child she was supposed to adopt had died when it's mother had a miscarriage. My teacher told me that i would be able to see my daughter whenever i wanted and would always have pictures. she gave me $300 and told me that i could use that to go to the gym after i had the baby if they could adopt her. Since i knew them i trusted them and decided to go ahead with the adoption. she turned 2 this past september and i have only recieved pictures twice, once when she was 3 months and once when she was 18 months. Recently i sent a letter to them requesting pictures because they have not kept they're promises of letting me see her or keeping in touch, i called the husband a few weeks ago to ask if they would let her be my flower girl and he said he didn't see why not but he would check with his wife, he also stated that i could visit anytime i wanted. i recieved a text message from his wife saying that they did not want her to be in the wedding and that they would not want to attend either. i was heartbroken and did not try to contact them for a while. i sent the letter asking for pictures this past saturday and today recieved a letter from their lawyer stating that i cannot contact them any more and that if i do he is asked to take any action necessary against me. I have never been past their house or seen her since she's been born and i haven't tried to call or write very often at all. this letter was only the 2nd since she's been born and i probably haven't called any more than 5-10 times over this time either. I want my daughter back! I had a letter written and addressed to their lawyer within the 30 days after she was born to revoke my decision but my teacher and her husband met me at my place of work and took me to his place of work after hours and threatened me saying that i wouldn't be able to do it and if i did they would "make my life a living hell" Some one please tell me i have a chance to get her back, she is my world and now i have no way of knowing anything about her

 

[jacksgal]

How was this family able to adopt without Father's consent or was it given? If this was a "legal" adoption this is probably a "done deal". Your best option at this point is to consult an Attorney to see what, if anything, can be done.

 

[Sierra929]

yes there was father's cosent. i never had an attourney though because they told me that their lawyer said i shouldn't get one. i am trying to find one in my area though. thanks for replying.

 

[jacksgal]

The chances of reversing an adoption are almost zero! YES talk to an Attorney but be warned your desired outcome has a very low chance of success

 

[Duranie]

If this child was adopted then it is a done deal. You cannot expect to take this child away from her parents 3 years later. It does not work that way. If both you and Dad terminated rights, I have no idea why you think you are entitled to the child back.

 

[Sierra929]

it's 2 years later and show some heart i am just asking. i would appreciate kinder replies. thanks.

 

[jacksgal]

There is nothing unkind about the truth! I am sorry you took it that way but it doesn't change the correct answers you have read.

 

[Duranie]

What is the point of doing a termination of rights and adoption if you think you can get the child back? The people that adopted the child are the parents. They would be totally devastated losing the child 2 years later. Adoptions are non reverseable if they were done right. If you and the bio dad terminated rights then you are a legal stranger to the child. I suggest you focus on somethng else since this is not your baby anymore. Sorry if this sounds harsh but can you imagine what a mess adoptions would be if birth moms were allowed to change their mind after it was a done deal? Not to metnion it would be very traumatic to the child being ripped out of her parents home?

This is a legal message board, not a support one. The adoption cannot be undone because you do not like the way the parents are acting.

 

[Destiny19692006]

I am curious, was this a open adoption? You need to go back and reread the papers you had signed.
I am not trying to critize here, but that child knows the other parents as her mom and dad. That is the childs Mother and Father.
Do you even realize how destructive that would be to take the child away from the only parents she has always known? When does it stop that parents of children that give them up stop thinking of themselves and start thinking about the children.
You fairly gave this child up, now let the child live their life with the parents that took her in and gave her a home and I am sure Lots of Love.

 

[Sierra929]

i'm sorry, i just wasn't expecting such harsh answers. i understand it would hurt them but at the same point i am not being selfish. the agreement was that i would see her when i wanted and be as much a part of her life as i wanted. they just wanted to help me keep her away from her father. it was an open adoption. i never recieved a copy of the papers that i signed and i am not even sure of what it was because they had me sign immediately after the c-section. i was in labor 27 hours before that so i was tired and don't even remember much. my mom was there and said she asked if i could sign the next morning but they wanted it done then. i don't want to hurt her at all but i also know from college classes that i have taken in child development that she will not remember any of this due to the fact that infantile amnesia does not take place until 3 or later, after that they will not remember major events and by then she would be used to living in a different place with different people. i never did any of this for my own well being because if i was being selfish i never would have done this. but when the agreement was totally denied and i haven't even seen pictures that changes things for me. especially when i tried to get her back and they threatened me and my family. i never would have considered either of them to treat me that way after i gave them the most precious gift in the world. can i even fight to get pictures court ordered or anything?