parental rights

[hermom05]

In 2005, I had a one night stand with a man, which resulted in my beautiful daughter. When I found out I was pregnant I tried many times to talk with the father, but he refused to talk to me. I did talk with his mother, and she did not belive me that the baby is her sons. I then turned to a friend that introduced us in the first place, and he confirmed with me that he was told about the pregnancy and denied even sleeping with me. So I decided to not even bother looking for him after that. In 2006, My daughter just turned 1 and we had child support court. At the court house is the first time that he had seen her, he held her and asked to be part of her life. I told him where I lived and also gave him my number. He did not attempt to see her, nor call. Over the past 4 years we have had numerous court dates for child support of which he has never paid. He had not shown up for none of the court dates except for the one in 2006, and the last one in March of this year. His parents were with him this last time, and asked to see their granddaughter. I never denied them. The next day after court, the father went to jail for non payment of child support on his other kids. He wrote me letters from jail, saying that he wants to be part of her life and that he was not going to hurt her anymore. I have been very nice during this whole process. The only thing I asked of him was not to start seeing her if he could not be a consistent parent in her life. He stated that he would always be there for her from now on, and that he would not hurt her. That lasted for about a month, and I have heard from him every now and then since the beginning of May. I do not want to be the "bad guy", but I will not allow him to be an "in and out" kind of father. My daughter has been through some emotional changes since he has become part of her life, which is normal but, I do not want her to hurt and if I can stop that I will. I want to know if he has any rights to her at all? Also, as a single mother I want to be prepared in case anything happens to me. I want some kind of legal papers stating who she would be raised by. I absolutly do not want her to go to her father or anyone in his family. My family has been there for her and I from the beginning and she would be best off with my parents.Who do I talk to about having papers drawn up about this matter?

 

[jharris352]

He has rights, but the child's welfare will trump those rights in a court hearing and the courts will look at it much like you are: The child is not well served by a here and gone again dad. DOCUMENT all of this and keep a file. Do a WILL and designate a guardian in the event of your passing or incapacitation. Get life insurance on you AND on him with or without his permission (YES you can do that you have an insurable interest in him).

Your family should be prepared for a fight if something does happen to you. He and his family have a good claim on the child especially if they can care for her. Your documentation will be very helpful in any future custody battle.

You are not going to be able to shut him out. I know you don't want him here and gone but you can't control that. Shelter the child all you can. Good luck.

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

It appears that this man has been established as the father of this child. If so, he has rights to this child. You can go to court to establish custody of your daughter but if something happens to you, the legal system will turn to the father first. You cannot take away his parental rights simply because you want to.

Gail

 

[Duranie]

Sorry but you decided to get pregnant by a one night stand, Dad does have rights. children cannot be willed anyways. You can state your preference but once paternity is established he will have rights. He can certainly ask for custody should something happen to you.

 

[hermom05]

I know that he is the father, but that does not mean that he has any moral rights to her. He has not done one thing for her, he has not been to one birthday, nor any christmas. He does not work, he has two other children that have no mother because she is a coccaine addict, and he still is not there for them. He is a worthless SOB and is not in any way a good thing for my daughter. I was told that since he has not been in her life for at least six months and has not attempted to be and has not paid a red cent on his child support, then he has not shown any interest in her, so there for he has no rights to her. I really feel like I can ignore his phone calls ( when and if he calls) and he will stop calling and forget he has a daughter for four more years. She would be much better off.