Odds of Father getting custody

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DadinDivorce

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Wife and I are in the midst of divorce proceedings. We live in New York, and I'm wondering what the odds are of the father winning primary physical custody over the mother if both are fit, loving parents. Two kids, ages 7 and 12. Items that I can put forth as possible advantages are that my annual income is about double the mother's. I have a secure job, whereas her career path is anything but stable. Also, with her career path, there could ( I stress the word could) be many nights and weekends where she is unavailable, whereas I work a traditional 9 to 5 job.

She seems to think that all things being equal, the mother will win primary physical custody every time in New York State if she is a fit parent. That my chances of winning are very slim. We are running into roadblocks in our effort to agree on a settlement, and I have told her that my earlier, tentative agreement to be the one who moves out and accept non-physical custody was a huge sacrifice on my part. Unlike the traditional father in divorce, I would be ecstatic if she was the one who moved out, and I stayed in the apartment with the kids. I wouldn't even ask for child support, because her income is low. I've told her that if she isn't willing to accept this sacrifice and make some of her own, then I may be forced to re-evaluate and take this to a lawyer, and sue for primary physical custody.

Any advice appreciated, or if anyone can point me in the right direction regarding possibly statistics on this issue in NY State..

Thanks in advance.
 
If you see a lawyer for custody, be advised you'll probably wind up paying for her lawyer too since appear to earn much more than her.

Custody generally goes to the primary cargiver. If you too cannot agree to joint custody or something fair, then you have to go to trial. Can you 2 agree to joint with 50/50 parenting time?
 
Income does not determine custody. If you make so much more than her, even with an even split in time, you could be ordered to pay child support.

Is there some reason you want sole custody? Why not equal time? My understanding is that most states have some form of joint custody (if only legal).
 
clarification

thanks for the warning on paying for her lawyer. And for the opinion that incomes are not a factor.

We will work out some kind of joint custody arrangement. However, only one parent is considered the physical custodian, or primary caregiver. In our case, that parent gets to keep the apartment. Because she has been unwilling to make compromises in other areas, I don't see why I should make the compromise to be the one who moves out. So I'm wondering if we go to trial on this point, if the courts are gender-neutral, or if the mother has the edge.
 
income does matter

Sorry, but in regards to who gets custody in NY State, the incomes of each parent are a factor.

http://www.divorcesource.com/NY/ARTICLES/barics6.html

Is just one plae where I've seen it written. I've seen these factors, plus or minus some of them, so I know they're not just being copied, in a number of places online. Also, our own very experienced mediator confirmed the factors that a court will use to determine custody, and mentioned the individual incomes of the parents.

The New Jersey statutes regarding child support seem to be much more based in reality, but they are very difficult to determine. There are a lot of complicated forms. Our mediator said that most people buy a $60 software package that calculates what it should be.
 
well here in GA, the only way to prove a mother is unfit is DRUGS basically and no income at all. the best you could probably get in joint custody same as my fiance...GOOD LUCK THOUGH:angel
 
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