Need Some Advice

[DisgustedFLMom]

This is my first post here but I am in need of some advice. First of all, a lot of it is my own fault for being too nice but after being crapped on over and over again, wanting to be nice goes out the window. My ex husband remarried and had two more children, one of which is a hemopheliac (sp) and because of the tough time that little boy goes through, I've allowed my ex to get away without paying child support for years. I've done my best to keep the peace for the sake of the two children we had together while struggling to support them. To make a very long ugly story short, my ex is owes me around $55,000 in back support and I will be seeing an attorney this week. My real question is, my oldest son is now 19 as of two weeks ago and I'm trying to find out if I can collect what is owed in back support for him as well as my youngest child. My 19 year old is willing to go to court if need be to help me collect but I don't want to drag him into the middle of it if not necessary. Not only the huge amount that my ex owes, he has not held up any part of the support agreement, i.e. he did not maintain a life insurance policy with the boys as beneficiaries nor has he paid the ordered 39% of their medical bills above what insurance pays. Granted, I have more income than my ex does and what he was ordered to pay was a pittance but when you don't pay for 8 years, it adds up and it was what the courts ordered, even though at the time I was willing to accept less per month, the court overruled that. The ex and his new wife went out recently got and got themselves $500 in tattoos but he can't take care of his obligation to his first family. I'm worried that because I have not pursued collecting support for all these years, that might hurt my chances of recooping anything. But everytime I was at my wit's end and considered pursuing legal action against him, he would throw a few hundred dollars my way to shut me up basically. It's really the principle of the thing at this point and I do already have an appointment scheduled with an attorney who I know will be able to answer all these questions but if anyone could give me some input, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance

 

[gearhart7]

$55,000 ?????

I can't believe Florida (assuming this is where you are) let him get that far behind. A lot of states have fallen behind the eight ball on support. I looked on a childsupport.com . It said Florida has a 20 year limitation to get back child support. I would write down every question you want to ask your attorney so you don't forget. Did you have a CS order done? Or just an agreement between the two of you?

Good Luck!!

 

[DisgustedFLMom]

Thank you for your advice and I have started a notepad full of questions and facts for the attorney. Yes, I do have a court order for the support but I allowed it to be paid to me directly instead of through the courts, which was my first BIG mistake but at the time, I thought that our divorce would amicable and he would provide for his children. I can't blame the state for allowing him to get so far behind because I have sat back and not taken any action because I felt sorry for his little boy who is sick, plus no matter what, my ex's new children are my children's half siblings. My children also have learning disabilities and my oldest, although he managed to graduate from high school on a special diploma, is not having much luck securing work so I am still solely supporting him at this point. I tried to be nice and keep family peace for the sake of my children because they are the most important thing in my life and I never wanted to or did put them in the middle of our problems......but in the long run it has only hurt me and them financially.....there comes a point where enough is enough and I have reached that point. I have never spoken badly about their father to my boys although I can't say the same about him, but now that they are older, they have seen much for themselves and really lack any respect for him. My children know that I have been the one there for them the last 8 years no matter what. I have had to force them to even go visit their father because he has hurt them over and over and they really want nothing to do with him and that's their choice. When my oldest turned 18, he limited any contact with his father because I could no longer make him spend time with his dad. And it's not even like the father even cares, he has his new family and my boys are just an afterthought to him. I just hope that by my waiting and letting things go for so long won't hurt our chances of collecting what he is legally and morally responsible for. My children feel abandoned by their father and have for many years, if it wasn't for me making the effort to make sure he spent time with the boys, he couldn't care less about seeing or calling them. I didn't want it to come to this but it's time he owned up to his responsibility and even if I can only collect a small fraction of what he owes, I will feel vindicated and that money will be put into my children's savings accounts for their future.