Please, I need help quick.
Here is the condensed version. I was married 15 years to an abusive man. We had 2 children together. During our marriage he was convicted of mental and emotional cruelty to me and both our children and physical and perverse sexual abuse to me. The last time he went to jail I was able to take the children and leave for good. They were 10 and 11 at that time. He was ordered by the courts to undergo 18 months of psychological and drug/alcohol counseling and anger management which he had to pay for all of it. He did that and in so doing, the judge ruled that he could have visitation of our minor children. When the oldest girl turned 13 she decided she wanted to live with her dad. Since he had been being "good" the courts allowed it. He still was not able to get custody of our then 11 year old. I had and still have sole custody. I ended up getting remarried to a man who is good to me and her. My ex-husband hates him, even though he is now remarried himself. For a few years now, he has tried to convince my older girl that she should lie and say my husband has sexually abused her, just so he could get custody and not pay anymore child support (her words). My older one wouldnt do that. Last week, my youngest went for her summer week long visit to her dad's. Her dad has somehow manipulated her to get her to say that my husband inappropriatly hugged her. And she and my ex filed a restraining order against my husband (on which she stated lies that are provable to be lies (documented by the school and courts from before). My ex claimed to the judge that he has never been in trouble with the law and therefore he could provide best for her. ( i bounced a check when i was in my early 20's, i paid for it, but i still had to go to court over it, i am in my 40's now) I was served papers stating that he has asked the court for a temporary change of custody and a release from paying anymore child support. My husband was served the restraining order. He will not allow me to remove my daughter from his home (I tried tonite with the local police department, they said that since their is a restraining order on my husband and even though I can take her to stay with me at a seperate location from my husband, their hands were tied.) I was told by the local police to go down to the courthouse tomorrow and file another restraining order, and that only then would they be able to remove her (she is now 17) even if she is scared to go or doesnt want to go. My ex-husband told me on the phone friday night that if i dont just go along with this, he will make sure that he gets his way and i do go along with what he wants. (threat). He has recently told me that he will kill me before i ever see my daughter again. (threat). I dont want this to get ugly. I do have a lawyer that will help me, but my court date is Friday (June 15) and he wants 2500. up front before then. I don't have that kind of money. I can get it, but not that fast! Do you think that a judge would really grant someone with that kind of history custody of a teenager? She has been with me since 2000. Will it look like a retaliation restraining order if i file another one on him? (he has had several from me in years past). Do I have any chance of getting my daughter back? This is heartwrenching. She is in the top 10% of her class, she scored highly on her ACT's, she has friends and a boyfriend here, she is active in her church's youthgroup, she plays highschool sports, she has never been in any kind of trouble, etc. Can you think of anything else I can do? Thanks in advance, Lisa
Here is the condensed version. I was married 15 years to an abusive man. We had 2 children together. During our marriage he was convicted of mental and emotional cruelty to me and both our children and physical and perverse sexual abuse to me. The last time he went to jail I was able to take the children and leave for good. They were 10 and 11 at that time. He was ordered by the courts to undergo 18 months of psychological and drug/alcohol counseling and anger management which he had to pay for all of it. He did that and in so doing, the judge ruled that he could have visitation of our minor children. When the oldest girl turned 13 she decided she wanted to live with her dad. Since he had been being "good" the courts allowed it. He still was not able to get custody of our then 11 year old. I had and still have sole custody. I ended up getting remarried to a man who is good to me and her. My ex-husband hates him, even though he is now remarried himself. For a few years now, he has tried to convince my older girl that she should lie and say my husband has sexually abused her, just so he could get custody and not pay anymore child support (her words). My older one wouldnt do that. Last week, my youngest went for her summer week long visit to her dad's. Her dad has somehow manipulated her to get her to say that my husband inappropriatly hugged her. And she and my ex filed a restraining order against my husband (on which she stated lies that are provable to be lies (documented by the school and courts from before). My ex claimed to the judge that he has never been in trouble with the law and therefore he could provide best for her. ( i bounced a check when i was in my early 20's, i paid for it, but i still had to go to court over it, i am in my 40's now) I was served papers stating that he has asked the court for a temporary change of custody and a release from paying anymore child support. My husband was served the restraining order. He will not allow me to remove my daughter from his home (I tried tonite with the local police department, they said that since their is a restraining order on my husband and even though I can take her to stay with me at a seperate location from my husband, their hands were tied.) I was told by the local police to go down to the courthouse tomorrow and file another restraining order, and that only then would they be able to remove her (she is now 17) even if she is scared to go or doesnt want to go. My ex-husband told me on the phone friday night that if i dont just go along with this, he will make sure that he gets his way and i do go along with what he wants. (threat). He has recently told me that he will kill me before i ever see my daughter again. (threat). I dont want this to get ugly. I do have a lawyer that will help me, but my court date is Friday (June 15) and he wants 2500. up front before then. I don't have that kind of money. I can get it, but not that fast! Do you think that a judge would really grant someone with that kind of history custody of a teenager? She has been with me since 2000. Will it look like a retaliation restraining order if i file another one on him? (he has had several from me in years past). Do I have any chance of getting my daughter back? This is heartwrenching. She is in the top 10% of her class, she scored highly on her ACT's, she has friends and a boyfriend here, she is active in her church's youthgroup, she plays highschool sports, she has never been in any kind of trouble, etc. Can you think of anything else I can do? Thanks in advance, Lisa
