jacklantern
New Member
Hello,
My wife is a stay-home mom who arrived from Russia 3 years ago. She's still learning English and didn't have chance to work in the US because she got pregnant soon after arrival. She's a legal resident (green card holder.) Since I was the only worker for the family, and we don't have any relatives in the US to help (I was also born in Russia, and am a naturalized citizen) she wanted to bring some additional income to the family. In April, I found an ad in Craigslist that a man called Mike is looking for a female Russian tutor. She was excited by this idea, even if it was to pay $15/hr. I myself wrote an email to the man introducing my wife. Soon they arranged the first phone call to talk about details. My wife was going to start giving him lessons in September, and they agreed to talk sometimes on the phone until then. First, he called in my presence, though I saw that my wife's face was becoming happy: she told me that he praises her English, voice, and says that he is willing to meet even if she comes with our son, but not with husband. I felt at once something suspicious about it and asked if she would like to stop this opportunity. She replied she just wants to earn some money for the family. Next, she went into complete secrecy about talking to Mke. I discovered everything in August, and up until recently she refused to tell me the truth. What happened was that they started talking on the phone more and more often. He called several times a day. He employed praising, sweet talk and a bit of pressure every time to affect my wife's emotions. She was becoming emotionally attached to him. Very quickly, already in June, he started saying that he didn't care about tutoring anymore and would like a relationship. My wife refused this advance and reminded him that she considers him just a work opportunity, a friend at best. I need to say that throughout this ordeal my wife was becoming more and more distant from me and that, of course, bothered me. We started to have conflicts in the family. Now I know that he helped in that. Once she noticed that a man in a car was watching her when she was returning from the morning walk with our son. Next time, she saw that man again when she returned from the walk unusually early. Mike knew her schedule (as well as mine: she kept informing him on everything) and usually called her at the time she came back. This time, when she arrived an hour earlier after seeing the man in a car near our house, he called right away. She is quite sure that the man in a car might have been an observer for Mike. It wasn't Mike because she met him later. Beginning from that call, Mike started saying "I love you" and started pressuring her to say the same words in return. He started sending her gifts and money. He also started convincing my wife that all the arguments she's having with me at the moment was domestic abuse. He insisted that she called a domestic violence hotline and he taught her key words to ask. My wife obeyed him and called that hotline where they confirmed this was a domestic abuse. I have to say that I did not abuse her, but I did become angry about her alienation and obnoxious behavior. Next, Mike started pressuring her to consider a divorce and escaping to a shelter where he would pick her up. She almost did that when I found out about their emotional affair. In the beginning of August, he finally talked her into meeting him which she did secretely again. From her words, this was the only meeting they had and nothing serious happened. However, after that meeting Mike increased pressure on her (which already started scaring her) to start seeing each other regularly and to become more than "just friends." This became more in a commanding tone: "Dress up, leave your house and come to meet me!" He provided her with a cell phone that she kept hidden from me. When I discovered the fact of my wife doing all this, I went back to craigslist and found out that Mike was giving this ad weekly, looking for Russian/Ukranian female tutors/translators, and many women already were complaining about his unnatural interest in their personal lives. I also found out that in June he gave an ad about recruiting Russian women for the ADULT CLUB promotion, and another ad running until recently (all his ads have been removed by now, either by craigslist or by himself) about recruiting girls 18-25 for a modelling agency, whom he would provide a free ticket to come to New York City even from another country. The girls were supposed to desire to do some hard modelling, and the deadline is September 28.
Now, that my wife told me everything (I hope), my question is, from this information I provided, can I suspect that this man (Mike) was trying to do something illegal (including what he did with my wife)? Should I file a police report? Should I be worried about what may happen next? (My wife answered his last call asking him not to call her anymore; presumably he doesn't).
P.S. I chose to forgive my wife, but I'm also wondering if it's possible to sue Mike for the distress he caused in our family.
My wife is a stay-home mom who arrived from Russia 3 years ago. She's still learning English and didn't have chance to work in the US because she got pregnant soon after arrival. She's a legal resident (green card holder.) Since I was the only worker for the family, and we don't have any relatives in the US to help (I was also born in Russia, and am a naturalized citizen) she wanted to bring some additional income to the family. In April, I found an ad in Craigslist that a man called Mike is looking for a female Russian tutor. She was excited by this idea, even if it was to pay $15/hr. I myself wrote an email to the man introducing my wife. Soon they arranged the first phone call to talk about details. My wife was going to start giving him lessons in September, and they agreed to talk sometimes on the phone until then. First, he called in my presence, though I saw that my wife's face was becoming happy: she told me that he praises her English, voice, and says that he is willing to meet even if she comes with our son, but not with husband. I felt at once something suspicious about it and asked if she would like to stop this opportunity. She replied she just wants to earn some money for the family. Next, she went into complete secrecy about talking to Mke. I discovered everything in August, and up until recently she refused to tell me the truth. What happened was that they started talking on the phone more and more often. He called several times a day. He employed praising, sweet talk and a bit of pressure every time to affect my wife's emotions. She was becoming emotionally attached to him. Very quickly, already in June, he started saying that he didn't care about tutoring anymore and would like a relationship. My wife refused this advance and reminded him that she considers him just a work opportunity, a friend at best. I need to say that throughout this ordeal my wife was becoming more and more distant from me and that, of course, bothered me. We started to have conflicts in the family. Now I know that he helped in that. Once she noticed that a man in a car was watching her when she was returning from the morning walk with our son. Next time, she saw that man again when she returned from the walk unusually early. Mike knew her schedule (as well as mine: she kept informing him on everything) and usually called her at the time she came back. This time, when she arrived an hour earlier after seeing the man in a car near our house, he called right away. She is quite sure that the man in a car might have been an observer for Mike. It wasn't Mike because she met him later. Beginning from that call, Mike started saying "I love you" and started pressuring her to say the same words in return. He started sending her gifts and money. He also started convincing my wife that all the arguments she's having with me at the moment was domestic abuse. He insisted that she called a domestic violence hotline and he taught her key words to ask. My wife obeyed him and called that hotline where they confirmed this was a domestic abuse. I have to say that I did not abuse her, but I did become angry about her alienation and obnoxious behavior. Next, Mike started pressuring her to consider a divorce and escaping to a shelter where he would pick her up. She almost did that when I found out about their emotional affair. In the beginning of August, he finally talked her into meeting him which she did secretely again. From her words, this was the only meeting they had and nothing serious happened. However, after that meeting Mike increased pressure on her (which already started scaring her) to start seeing each other regularly and to become more than "just friends." This became more in a commanding tone: "Dress up, leave your house and come to meet me!" He provided her with a cell phone that she kept hidden from me. When I discovered the fact of my wife doing all this, I went back to craigslist and found out that Mike was giving this ad weekly, looking for Russian/Ukranian female tutors/translators, and many women already were complaining about his unnatural interest in their personal lives. I also found out that in June he gave an ad about recruiting Russian women for the ADULT CLUB promotion, and another ad running until recently (all his ads have been removed by now, either by craigslist or by himself) about recruiting girls 18-25 for a modelling agency, whom he would provide a free ticket to come to New York City even from another country. The girls were supposed to desire to do some hard modelling, and the deadline is September 28.
Now, that my wife told me everything (I hope), my question is, from this information I provided, can I suspect that this man (Mike) was trying to do something illegal (including what he did with my wife)? Should I file a police report? Should I be worried about what may happen next? (My wife answered his last call asking him not to call her anymore; presumably he doesn't).
P.S. I chose to forgive my wife, but I'm also wondering if it's possible to sue Mike for the distress he caused in our family.
