Need help getting my wife to do her part

[Groundpig]

O.k. I joined the army on 16 NOV 2006. It had been something I've wanted to do for a while. I have three children ,so I talked it over with my wife and she supported me. While I was away conducting my 12 weeks of basic combat training she managed to not only spend all of the money that I made on her boyfriend instead of taking care of our kids, but she also got pregnant by him. We have since split up and I have full custody of my three children. The problem I'm having is that she will not grant me a divorce and is now using the army's leagle system to draw a heafty portion of my pay. I will be deploying soon and I need to resolve this before I go so that the person I appointed as temperary guardian can have the money I make to take care of my kids not to mention do my job knowing that things are o.k. at home. How can i make her give me a divorce in the next four months? I'm in WA and is in TX. We were married in AR so that is the state that I am going to file in. Also she has warrants in AR. I don't know if that will help me, but I figure it can't hurt.

 

[irish223]

Are you sure you can file in AR? If you haven't lived there for a while, then you probably don't meet their residency requirements.

If your temporary custody is by court order, then you should probably file in the same jurisdiction. Once you file, your wife doesn't have to agree to the divorce, unless there's a military law regarding that. (I'm not familiar with the military.) You can be granted the divorce whether she likes it or not.

Once you file, there may be a waiting period, so I doubt that you'll get a divorce in 4 months. However, you may be able to redirect your support once you file. I think you need to consult an attorney, preferably one with experience in military divorces.

Good luck, and take care in your deployment.

 

[Groundpig]

I'm still a resident of AR. Because of the military I can remain a resident until I get out, Also I have full costody of the children. They never told me it would be temorary in court. I hope that's not the case. All the lawyers I speek with treat me as if I had no chance of resolving this, because I'm not the mother I can't win.Thank you for your help though. I need all the input I can get.

 

[irish223]

I'm still a resident of AR. Because of the military I can remain a resident until I get out,

You're right, you can file in AR. I didn't make the connection that you are in WA because of the military.

Also I have full costody of the children. They never told me it would be temorary in court. I hope that's not the case.

You're right again. I assumed that it was temporary because you hadn't filed for divorce yet. However, that may change during the divorce proceedings (or may not).

All the lawyers I speek with treat me as if I had no chance of resolving this, because I'm not the mother I can't win.

What do they say you can't win?

Once you file/divorce, she may be entitled to some support as a military former spouse, but if you retain full custody of the children, then I don't think she would be entitled to any payments for them.

 

[irish223]

I went back and reread the posts. I forgot that you want to divorce in 4 months, and your wife won't agree.

Are you legally separated?
If so, did you legally separate in AR?
Have you talked to lawyers in both WA and AR?
If you file for divorce, do you think your wife will appear at the hearing?

And I'm still confused about what they say you can't win.

 

[Groundpig]

I'm not sure what it takes to be legally separated. We have not lived together since nov 06. I have not talked to a lawyer in AR, but the one I talked to in WA said that these things always favor the mother. Also the child that she had while I was gone has my name because we are still married. I don't know where to start with that. Can I force a test to prove the child's not mine? Also I don't thiunk she will appear in court because she has arreast warrent out.