My wifes hiding money

[gerard]

My wife and I have had a rocky 17 year marriage but due to our children, we have two, we have remained married. In mad fits of rage she has threatened divorce and has stated marring me was the biggest mistake she ever made. I always chalked her comments up to anger. My children are 17 and 14 years old so empty nesting is just around the corner. Recently, while looking for a birth certificate I came across my wifes hiding spot for some personal documents. In the documents she has $60,000 in bonds in her name. Additionally, she has copies of her college transcrips she recently obtained. Oddly it shows she never graduated. She had told me she had her B.A, from this university. I think its clear what she is doing here. I'm sure the money comes from gifts from her parents who are very wealthy (probably 3 million net worth). They are in their upper 80s and probably wont make it another 5 years or so. She has 3 siblings so after her parents death she will inherit a good amount of money. A side note, my wife had an uncle who died 4 years ago who never had children and who told us on several occasions he was going to leave all his money to my wife and three brothers. Upon his death it was revealed her uncle had recently redone his will and put everything in trust to only one of her brothers. The uncles estate was worth about 1 million. Nobody, including my wife contested any of this. I found it strange and wondered if they had made some secret deals to keep the money outside of our marriage but I have no proof of this. The whole situation was just odd. Well this gets me to my point. I am not a rich man. I have worked the entire length of our marriage while my wife was a stay at home mom. She has not had a job until only recently and now works in retail part time for a very small income. We have spent the majority of what we've made on our house and have little to no savings. I have about 100,000 in a 401k and we have about 300,000 in equity in our home. My hope is my wife and I reconcille our differences and grow old together. But she may have other plans without telling me. I have tried to curb my wifes spending. Telling her we need to save for the future but she insists on spending it. Not always on herself. Often times on home improvements, things for the house, and family vacations. The problem is her future is secure because of her future inheritance. (and hidden money that was gifted to her) I have no such security. Is there anything I can do now to protect myself legally should we end up in divorce? My inclination is to stay silent on the fact I know anything about the hidden money. She has an excuse for everthing. If I let her know I know about it she will probably say she hide it from me because she knows I would have been angry her parents gave it to her. Which is ridiculous but I know she will say something like that. If I could show in a divorce court my wife was decieving me about money she had during our marriage will this benefit me in any way or should I tell her I know now an force her to spend some of it on the extas in life while we save our joint money for our future retirement? Thanks in advance for anybody who can help with some advice.

 

[seniorjudge]

Q: If I could show in a divorce court my wife was decieving me about money she had during our marriage will this benefit me in any way or should I tell her I know now an force her to spend some of it on the extas in life while we save our joint money for our future retirement?

A: This, of course, is an entirely personal decision on your part. If it were me, I would do everything I could do to protect myself and also stop her from spending (if at all possible).

 

[gerard]

Senior Judge says: "This, of course, is an entirely personal decision on your part. If it were me, I would do everything I could do to protect myself and also stop her from spending (if at all possible)."

What can I legally do to protect myself?

In order for me to make that decision I need some legal advice. If I could prove deception in a court would a judge likely :
A) Do nothing. Basically who cares. Alls fair in love and war.
B) Reduce my sposal support liability.
C) Award me a share of the hidden money. (Gifts are not normally community property but what if the gift was hidden and community property was spent that otherwise may not have been if the gift had not been hidden from the spouse)

Thats what I mean by "benefit me" by staying silent. The only advantage in telling her I found her stash would be the possible slowing down of her spending. Dont get me wrong I like that result but what I was wondering, is there a penalty for this kind of deception in divorce court (Illinois is where I live)? Once I tell her I know she may dig her heels in and refuse to spend any of it and save only for her retirement and continue to run through our community property/money, putting the onus on me to file for divorce which I dont want to do.

 

[seniorjudge]

...

If I could prove deception in a court would a judge likely :

....

If I could answer questions like that, I would be at the casino!

 

[gerard]

So what is the law regarding this? By your answer can I infer there are circumstanves where a judge will or has made a gift community property when deceptions involved/ if it were hidden?

 

[Duranie]

Right now if you stay married there is really nothing you can do.

Just an FYI, an inheritance is generally not considered community property, so if you are wanting to stake a claim on anything she has/is going to inherit, you can't.

I am not even sure you would qualify for alimony. Unless your wife makes considerably more than you and you are not counting on inheritance, you might not get it.

Make photocopies of anything you have seen, and talk to a divorce attorney for guidance.

You are only going to get VERY limited and basic advice from an internet message board.

 

[gerard]

If there is nothing I can do while I'm married, and I prefer to stay married, I'll do nothing. I have already made copies of everything. I have no desire nor do I feel I have any right to have any of her inheritance. Illinois is not a community property state. Therefore, as I understand it, after she gets her inheritance and combined with her gifted monies her net wealth could be close to a million dollars. Will the court consider our lopsided finacial situation and perhaps award me a greator portion of our assets accrued while married? If the answer were yes I guess it would be a little more palatable seeing her spend the money were earning now.