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Moving out of state with my child

Discussion in 'Other Family Law Matters' started by Hannah, Aug 9, 2020.

  1. Hannah

    Hannah Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jurisdiction:
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    So I’m moving from MA to MO in about a month with my boyfriend and my 4 year old daughter and I just told her father about our move today. He said he wants to bring me to court. He doesn’t have custody and was not put on the birth certificate. He sees her on the weekends (not court ordered) and only recently has become consistent with her. He pays child support now but owes thousands still. Can he keep me from leaving the state with her? I’m not trying to keep her from him and I never have so I’m willing to set visitation whether it’s holidays or school vacations. My reasons to move are price of living (currently having to live with my parents) and being closer to other family as well as my boyfriend has a great job opportunity. I don’t really know what to expect if he brings me to court or what rights he has.
     
  2. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    Probably not. But he has the right to see his daughter and you moving her across the country away from him may result in the court ordering you to pay his transportation costs to visit with her periodically.
     
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  3. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    He has a decent chance of preventing you from moving your (plural) child out of state if he is able and willing to take primary custody. If you are given permission from the court to move with the child be prepared to pay for all transportation for several extended visitations per year.
     
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  4. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    This is problematic. You might want to cancel any plans to take the child out of state until you have court ordered custody/visitation resolved. If you leave the state you might have the child brought back without you.
    It could take several months to resolve this. You should have began this process long ago.
     
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  5. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    Is the child support court ordered? If it was, that means that he is the legal father. The fact that you (or he) haven't taken the steps to have the birth certificate amended doesn't change the fact that he is the FATHER of this child.
     
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  6. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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  7. Hannah

    Hannah Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I don’t remember stating in my question anywhere that he isn’t her father. I also remember stating that I don’t wish to keep her from him considering it took me a long time to get him to be a part of her life. I would love for her to see him as much as possible and if I have to pay for transportation than that’s ok with me. The only time we went to court was when he established paternity for child support. And him taking custody isn’t a concern, he doesn’t have anywhere for her to live and hasn’t and wouldn’t pay for anything (daycare, insurance and so forth pretty much any and all expenses)
     
  8. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    If he is NOT on birth documents and paternity has NOT been established he is NOT the child's legal Father! However if he chooses to he can pursue custody and his parental rights. this could be a problem for him. If there is no court ordered support the monies he has given could be considered gifts and he could owe support for all this time. On a different issue what gives you the right to remove a child from their parent?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2020
  9. Hannah

    Hannah Law Topic Starter New Member

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    He established paternity when he started paying child support through the court which he pays when he feels like it. No one is removing her from him, it’s distance that’s necessary for reasons stated above. Obviously you didn’t read any of my posts and are here to bash because of some Negative emotional Response you’re having towards my post. The video is unnecessary just like your comment. obviously this was not the right forum to ask legal advice on lol Thanks to anyone who genuinely cared to help in a positive way
     
  10. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    Yes, he is. He was legally established as the father during the child support case.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 10, 2020
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  11. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    As Massachusetts holds jurisdiction it would be in your best interest to legally take care of the custody before moving to MO. Also keep in mind that MA will retain jurisdiction as long as Dad still lives there.

    You say that Dad doesn't have anywhere to live...Is he currently in a shelter? Sleeping under Tobin Bridge? Where does he visit with his daughter now?
     
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  12. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    Please don't be snitty to the volunteers here. Shrinkmaster was likely responding to your 1st post which wasn't clear that there are support orders.

    Remember...We are volunteering to assist you late on a Sunday night..that should indicate our genuine desire to help.
     
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  13. Hannah

    Hannah Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Well he doesn’t have his own space, he lives in his grandmother’s living room (He sleeps on the couch) and when he takes her on the weekends she has this pop up mattress she sleeps on (she used to sleep on blankets on the floor till I said that she needed to have a type of bed) But the house is full and a lot of other family members live there so neither of them have their own bedroom or bed. And it was his comment about what gives me the right to remove my child from her dads life is what I was commenting on. I fought for a long time to get him to be in her life and have always been kind to him while dealing with constant Emotional and verbal abuse from him. But at the end of the day I’ve never kept her from him no matter how he’s treated me because I want them to have a good relationship. (The only way he’s been negative towards her is by being inconsistent like in and out of her life for months at a time) But for the past 7 months he is doing a lot better with showing up when he says he’s going too though
     
  14. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    A court may disagree with your necessary reasons. Marriage would give more weight to the need for a move, but your boyfriend's job status is not a factor at all. You really should consider delaying a move until you have things resolved.
     
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  15. Zigner

    Zigner Well-Known Member

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    First, please remember that YOU were the one (Hannah) who made a point that the man isn't listed as the child's father on the child's birth certificate. You have a (shared) responsibility to make sure that vital record is updated.

    Second, you are arguing over the word "remove", but you need to realize that "remove" has more than one definition. You are attempting to "remove" the child from the area (and dad) by moving.
     
  16. justblue

    justblue Well-Known Member

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    None of this will likely matter to a Massachusetts Judge. Your reason for the move has nothing to do with the best interest of the child. The move may be in the best interest of the boyfriend but as there is no solid commitment (marriage) his great new job has no legal effect on the child. Massachusetts Judges curiously believe that it is in the best interest of the child to have a close and consistent relationship with both parents, so there is a very high bar you have to hurdle in order to show how a move is better for the child then having a regular relationship with their father. "Your Honor, My boyfriend has a great new job offer and I have some extended family 1,200 miles away" is likely to get you a negative response in Probate. Indeed, the Judge may feel you are placing what is important to your boyfriend over what is important for your child.

    Curious...how long have you been in this relationship?
     
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  17. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    The answer is yes. How likely is it? No one here will have any way of know, and you should consult with a local family law attorney ASAP. Note that the court will view "my boyfriend has a great job opportunity" as a piss-poor reason for you to move with the child. I'm also wondering why that matters since you apparently have the thousands of dollars per month that would be necessary to pay for travel in connection with regular visitation.

    Just keep in mind that you will be responsible for adhering to the current visitation schedule, regardless of the move, until and unless you obtain a court order that modifies the visitation schedule. If you fail to do that, then you will be in contempt of court.
     
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  18. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    If he established paternity then he has parental rights. Yes he can take you to court to stop you from taking the child.

    My ex husband has no parenting time because he never showed up to the divorce - but he has parental rights. When I had to move for the military I probably didn't have to go to court to get permission to move our daughter since he was in prison again...but I did it just so he had noting to use later on against me. It cost me about $3000 for one court date and mostly emails...but I did it. I got approved to relocate her with me because I'm her sole caregiver and he's not been present and not paying child support. You; however, don't have that situation. So you may find some resistance. He might even attempt to get an actual court ordered visitation plan in place too.

    I would consider looking into a lawyer. Some do free consultations. I'd shop around for those and at least get some free 30 min advice.
     
  19. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    So? That isn't child abuse or neglect. That probably won't have any bearing if he takes you to court.

    He has the right to take you to court yes. Again get a lawyer.
     

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