Mother-In-Law being abused?!

[Matthew D Connelly]

Jurisdiction

New York

My wife is concerned because my Mother-In-Law, who is in a nursing home, is not getting the care she is entitled to. We live in Maine and my wife has been trying to convince her mom to come live with us. however, Due to my wife not being in New York, where her mom lives, Her mother assigned one of her brothers to be the medical proxy and another to be the co-proxy. This was before they put her in the nursing home. When my Mother-In-Law asked a nurse to help her change her proxy she was given the run-around. According to the nursing home, my wife cannot even talk to her mom on the phone now. My question is...What is the process of objecting to the proxy and changing it. Keep in mind, we are in Maine and her mom is in New York. Being able to travel is a challenge these days. Any hearings that could be done remotely would be a plus. any help is appreciated.

 

[Zigner]

What makes your wife believe that her mother is not receive the appropriate care? Has she visited the facility to see the conditions?

 

[adjusterjack]

travel is a challenge these days.

Might be more efficient and cheaper to have a NY attorney call the owners of the nursing home.

 

[zddoodah]

My question is...What is the process of objecting to the proxy and changing it.

There isn't one. It's entirely up to your mother-in-law. Your post is vague as to what the problem is, but your wife retaining an elder law attorney in NY might be the best bet.

 

[Michael Wechsler]

I wonder whether we are missing part of the story. My understanding of a medical proxy or health care proxy relates to making medical decisions, not whether a child can visit or speak to his/her parent who is in a nursing home. The below health care proxy document is produced by the the New York State government to help all, especially non-lawyers. I think they may have these on file in hospitals as well. I think you should find out more as to why the nurse claims your wife can't even communicate with her mother.

The New York State Deparment of Health - Health Care Proxy Form and Explanation