Mom Left State With Child - Father's Right/Options?

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robstapp85

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Important Facts:
1. I was never married to the mother
2. I am on the Birth Certificate
3. I have been the sole provider for the past 3 yrs (Mother made less than 5k over last 3 years)
4. We had been together up until she left
5. Child is 2.5 yrs old

So at the start of October my gf/fiance left with my child. We got into a fight on a Sunday and she left for TX on Tuesday and I found out Tuesday afternoon. She has family there and that is where she is at. We have been together for the past 3.5 years and I have been the sole support. Now she has left for TX and not sure if she is coming back. I have tried to work things out where I could get my daughter for Thanksgiving or Christmas. I was told that was not going to happen and that I could see her after the new year. I am sorry but 3 months is too long and not even getting to say bye makes it worse. I just see it going down like after the new year I have to wait longer. So I am going to court to petition for something so I can be a part of my daughters life. We have lived in TN for all her life. Can I ask the judge to have the mother provide the transportation for my visitation? I mean she moved away, not for a job either and I don't think it's fair. What are my options/rights? What can I ask for? I dont know where to start and I have tried for the past 3 weeks to come to an agreement on visitation but she keeps saying no. To be blunt I am being denied to see her and it bugs me because we are both her parents and we should both be a part of her life.
 
You can file for custody, you can ask that the child be returned to TN, or if you are okay with the move, you can ask for transportation costs.

Whatever you decide to do, you shouldn't delay much longer.
 
If you file for cusotdy or for the child to be returned, your state has jurisdiction since she has not met the residency requirements in the new state (usually 6 months). File for custody now or to get a set visitation schedule in place and I would be asking mom to do the transportation.

Why did she move? Who is in TX? You probably have a good chance of her to return the child.
 
Duranie said:
If you file for cusotdy or for the child to be returned, your state has jurisdiction since she has not met the residency requirements in the new state (usually 6 months). File for custody now or to get a set visitation schedule in place and I would be asking mom to do the transportation.

Why did she move? Who is in TX? You probably have a good chance of her to return the child.
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She moved because things had been Rocky but not to the point where I thought it warranted a move. She is living with her Mom and Step-Dad. So I know about the 6 month residency issue but whats this im reading about having her move back to the state with the child? Can a judge do that?
 
Yes . Sshe can be forced to return the child. Don't assume she has the right to move wherever, she does not.
 
Duranie said:
Yes . Sshe can be forced to return the child. Don't assume she has the right to move wherever, she does not.
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Ok. Now she has nowhere to live but our apt and she has no car. Could she bring this up to the judge or might the judge just say if you want to go to TX it will be without the child?
 
ohio_granny said:
It's possible. Is she not with her mom?
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My daughter is with her mother and the mother is with her mom and stepdad. I just had never heard of a judge making someone return to the state, i assumed that it would be a possibility for the child to return but not the parent. Also should I be sending some type of support down there? I am not obligated to do so by any court and the court hasnt established paternity. I know legally I am not required but I want to send money, I just don't want to do anything the Judge might get mad at.
 
Just to clarify, the mother cannot be ordered to move back to TN, but it can be ordered that the child must return to TN. In cases like that, the mother often moves back too, by her own choice.
 
Any money you send would possibly be considered a gift, and not count towards any support. I doubt a judge would get mad at you for doing it.

Have you filed anything yet? The longer you hesitate, the more it appears you are okay with the whole thing.
 
ohio_granny said:
Any money you send would possibly be considered a gift, and not count towards any support. I doubt a judge would get mad at you for doing it.

Have you filed anything yet? The longer you hesitate, the more it appears you are okay with the whole thing.
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Ok so here is an update. I tried to come to an agreement for visitation for a month and no luck. She would not agree to 3 different options and was definently not willing to allow me visitation for either Christmas, Thanksgiving or even the first 3 weeks of Dec. The straw that broke the camels back was when I said well what about if I have her for the month of January and you can enjoy the holidays with your family and she said no way. So I am filing on Monday. I will be asking for full custody. If for some reason I do not win can I ask the judge that I be able to speak to my daughter everyday, like make it a part of her daily routine? Right now I call every day to speak to her and so far it averages out to every 7 days I talk to her 2 times.
 
If you do not get custody, you need to ask for half of the holidays. Make sure it is specific. Like you get the child every Christmas eve from 6pm-midnight (like my husband) or you alternate X-mas eve's and christmas. Also ask that mom pay for transportation if she is allowed to stay in her state. Document everything.
 
Duranie said:
If you do not get custody, you need to ask for half of the holidays. Make sure it is specific. Like you get the child every Christmas eve from 6pm-midnight (like my husband) or you alternate X-mas eve's and christmas. Also ask that mom pay for transportation if she is allowed to stay in her state. Document everything.
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So now that I am going thru and will got to court and essentially fight for my daughter how does that work? Should my gameplan be to focus on why I am the better parent for my daughter and have some supporting evidence? I don;t know if I need to "bash" her in the court. I don;t know if that helps or just makes me look bad. I know fathers getting custody are slim so thats why I want to have a great gameplan.
 
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